I think I was showing off.
So I told Penny that and she didn't say 'Yes / No' but 'Why do you think that?' - So I had to explain that I was used to having a reputation - that in the past I reveled in the attention my behaviours got me - that I could be pretty outrageous in pursuit of cock [I actually said that and I got no reaction what so ever - not even a murmur]
She asked when i first started thinking about myself in a sexual way and I struggled to think. She asked when i first became aware of sexual things and I said maybe when I was seven or eight and I remembered Mum having a boyfriend - it was the first time I recall having a man in the house and the first time I was aware Mum wasn't sleeping alone. It felt awkward when i wanted to sleep with Mum, because he was there, and I knew something was up. Not just his cock LOL [I didn't say that !!!]
She wondered if I'd ever seen Mum having sex and I said not because I hadn't, but later on i said I remembered hearing vouces and noises when i was trying to sleep and that once I found a porn magazine in the bedside cabinet. Not Mum's probably. Penny seemed really interested in this and I got defensive, but she was sort of saying that it wasn't necessarily part of a normal childhood to be exposed to sexual matters at such a young age. I thought she was blaming Mum, but she stressed not, that she was merely pointing out I'd been sort of aware of sex at an age some kids were still innocent.
Later we talked about when i first saw a boy's willie and she was quite shocked I was so young and that i remembered the event so clearly. I wasn't even in double figures and the boy was going to senior school so I think I thought I'd never see him again - switching schools does that to you - you think an era is ending. He pulled down his shorts and showed me his erect willie which was all gnarly and had a long foreskin - of course I had no idea what a foreskin was but he had a long flappy bit of skin. He didn't understand how to properly pull it back and of course i didn't also so i couldn't help him. I think i laughed at it, not in an unkind way.
I think I'm going to be shocking Penny lots .