doesn't mean i'm lost,
doesn't mean i'll stop,
doesn't mean i will cross.
just because i'm hurting,
doesn't mean i'm hurt,
doesn't mean i didn't get what i deserve,
no better and no worse.
i wuz at a loss for words...nuttin to share...its not like i lead a glamorous life where every day is a new tail-tale-worthy adventure. i can talk and talk and talk and talk but doesnt mean i have anythin to say. i did not feel chatty so imma day late and a dollah short...but thats anotha story. i recently had a shoppin trip a few heard bout where i picked up a real cool bate bargain, best bang for my buck.
my friend panicked sunday mornin. he couldnt find his wallet, woke up with no idea where it wuz. we had gone out as a group but i went home before him while he stayed out with the 'lost' boys, takin a bite outta the nite. if im there, im good at roundin up everyone and their items, quick lil sweepah...hustle up buttacup.
he wuz soooooooooo sads and i hugged him soooooooooo tite.
first we re-traced his steps and i drove him few spots to check. i squeezed his knee and said its ok, we will search togetha. the rescue mission failed and he got more down which i could not bare to see. my heart sank. ya pain is my pain.
i tried to lighten the mood and said are ya sure ya didnt meet a girl afta all ya riches? and teased boy she will be in for a big surprise. he rolled his eyes.
we needed a plan...fuck some guys hold lotta stuff in their wallet, money clippy thingy..whatevah...i call it a wallet. i made a list of what he could recall he had: id, cash, bank card, credit cards, reward cards, membership cards, insurance cards. jesus flippin burgahs, i have less in my purse.
two heads are betta than one. we went thru his bills and statements, pulled all the account #s as well as the lost/report stolen numbah ya hope to nevah call. one by one he cancelled each card, confirmin that no unapproved transactions took place which wuz encouragin. his stress peaked as one company asked him the security question and he looks at me, blank stare, whats my muthas maiden name? i knew it wuznt time to joke and say didnt ya know ya were adopted?
religious or not, i highly believe in the powah of positive thoughts or prayah. besides a goddess of nail polishes, my otha fav saint is my boy anthony, patron of lost articles. i swear askin for his assistance has proven to be effective for me...ovah and ovah and ovah. ya can doubt but i tell ya i repeat what works. just like i have a cure for hiccups i dont stray from. dont fix what aint broke.
so there we be...me, my friend and tony on the look out. it probly exists but a gps chipped wallet seems like a genius idea. i went on a tangent bout that but quickly realized i needed to use my eyes, not my mouth.
ive lost keys, ive lost clothes, ive lost track of how many times ive bated...we have ALL been there, done that. we feel stupid.
i hugged him again.
i told him ya mostly upset ya lost the token condom from graduation rite? he started cummin outta his funk and fast replied...fawkkk...why couldnt i lose ya instead! i said...this is a huge pain in the ass...i get it...i wish it wuz different, but its not. i said...is this the worst thing thats happened to ya today? yes. is this the worst thing thats happened to ya this week? yes. is this the worst thats happened to ya? no. aight then...it could be worse, perspective gained.
we continued to brainstorm where else he may have left it but soon that faded and wuz replaced with its time to eat. guess i wuz payin...
i lent him 60 bucks to get him by til he could access his money. he stared at me with a bit more briteness than before, smirked and said so now what do i hafta do for this. i bit my tongue.
depend on ya friend
are ya alone? generally i will ask that...not in a creepy stalkah check ya doors cuz someone is lurkin behind ya voice but to ensure they are not alone, unless they wanna be. i totally respect that...i very much hoard my hurts to myself.
my bestest ability as a friend is to assess the situation, adapt and distract from worry flurry. sometimes that requires bein serious and sometimes silliness is betta suited. i know what they need...im on standby to cry, id drive a mile to get a smile, walk to talk, hang out to pout, be there to care. when the moment is rite, i will make em laugh cuz its what i do, sometimes its all i can offah.
now bein funny online is hit and miss. its alot more dry tho smileys help. some get offended easy, or misinterpret a joke cuz they dont detect tone and ya cant read reactions. ya gotta be careful and considerate and conscious of othas feelins. i stick to razzin those who i know can handle a lil freak like me.
there aint a week that goes by where someone doesnt says oh miniii, silly girl, goober, dorkski. i aint really reserved with friends irl, anythin goes. they know if we go out to a restaurant where there are cloth napkins im gonna fold it into a lil roasted chicken* or when we have fancy drinks ill save my mini umbrella (ella ella) if its rainin, hold it above my head and say sun of a beach...im still fucken wet. i LOVE makin em burst out in fits of giggles...AND drivin em nuts. i feel good...makes me feel awesome. this girl just wants to have fun and wants everyone she loves to join the party. sweet fuck ya luck, even if i cant stand ya, jump in...or i can shove ya in.
seriously, dont take me too serious. absolutely there is a time and a place to act appropriate but too often people forget to have fun or how to have fun.
shit happens.. it sucks.. its ok to get pissed bout it.. but dont lose site of the bigga picture..beyond the bed frame. in all seriousness dont get caught up and tangled in a sheet of lifes got ya beat and get lost in:
all the details in the fabric,
all the things that make you panic,
all your thoughts resort so statically.
all the things that make you blow,
and no reason go on and scream.
if you're shocked it's just the,
fault of faulty manufacturing.
hold your own...everything will be fine, everything in no time at all.
*i know i am ridiculous...so ridiculous that i had to google if there wuz instructions to mirror my mad 'winnah winnah chicken dinnah' skillz.
how to make a chicken out of a napkin...and no, i dont make it dance like the end...thats just cuhrazzzy. enjoy!!!
i listened 2 Lose Yourself (Eminem), Identity (Lecrae ft. da t.r.u.t.h. & j.r.), Find Your Love (Drake) and more while bloggin.
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