I am restricted by my resources; I am flawed because I cannot always bring myself to be consistent with what I am feeling. I was once told by someone I was very close to being the most transient person they have ever known. I am limited because I change what I care about too often due to my emotional instability, causing me to work at a blazing pace to keep up how I feel.
I can hold my own in the face of adversity and diversity when it comes to art. I can make anything work for me if I have to, and there are no limits to the mediums I can use and myself as I see it. The limits are to my time and access to the supplies I need. If I was forced to live on the streets I’d make large scale sculptures out of bottle caps if I had to, in order to make a living selling art, but I am restricted not only be resources, but by depression and pain. I am cramped into an undesirable juxtaposition of people and places that have me losing the drive to love my days’ work.
I am dealing with a harsh time; I feel nearly unstable mentally, but my strength shows: even though I am not ready to finish the 10 foot by 10 foot rib cage acrylic painting, I can start designing my sculptures from old jackets that use silhouettes to show your childhood fears, or I can begin my performance studies on screaming and vocal expression. Now I am setting up my installations that are geared towards emotional reaction to aesthetics and music.
When I look at myself I see the things I need to fix. My vision is skewed by insecurity, counteracted by my ability to fix what I believe is wrong, and put to the test by my emotions. When I release what festers inside me, ideas and art pour out with complete confidence, without hesitation, and with purpose. My strength in my art comes from my ability to be happy with what I make, and knowing I can do anything I imagine, with the right resources.