Some people says a real man must plant a tree, have a child and write a book to mark his life.
I dunno if I've ever planted a tree, but I'm sure I've planted some flowers.
Children, I've a couple.
Write a book, oh fuck ain't it a book even if never published?
Why then I still feel I haven't accomplished?
Two marriages, step sons and daughters raised, few women, some drugs, international trips, different jobs, fancy cars, racing, football, parties and funerals.
I can't really say there is something meaningful I haven't tried yet, but my guts still feel empty.
I can't trust any government, I know education is rotten, the church? For Christ how misguided they are...
I'm close to reach forty five years of my life, almost five decades, still I'm just a kid, seeking for approval, satisfaction, pleasure...love.
Don't get me wrong, my kids, my wife, they do love me and I love them back.
However I feel so small, meaningless, a sand grain on the beach.
God forgive me for my behaviour, but I just would love to do it all again, surely I've missed a corner, or chose the wrong path...
So many doubts...even thou I can hear and angel whispering:
'...you are blessed and the best is yet to come...'