Today, like any other, I silenced my alarm and rolled out of bed. But unlike any other day as my feet hit the floor and I stood up I realized I was naked, and that my head felt like dynamite had just gone off inside it. I still don’t know why but I decided that standing wouldn’t work so I got on all fours and crawled out of my room into the living room. In the middle of the living room, where there had once been a table, a cat sat on the stomach of a naked sleeping girl. Looking around the cat and the girl I saw beer bottles, shot glasses, paper cups, a dildo, a half eaten drum stick and stroller strewn about the room.
Behind me I heard a deep voice, “Hello?”
I looked over my shoulder and saw a man in jeans without a shirt starring down at my ass. I quickly stood up and put a hand over my vagina. “Hey…sorry about…um…I don’t remember…”
“Don’t worry about it. Things are bit fuzzy for me too. I definitely remember you though.” He said as walked by me, patting my ass, cause me to jump.
Slightly concerned I ask, “Why do you remember me? What did I do?”
Laughing he replied, “Well, I got here a little late, but when I got here you were wearing what you’re wearing now, and doing 69 with this girl that’s passed out on the floor. Then you pushed me into your room and we fucked till you passed out. Well…I guess I kept going a little after you passed out but more less.”
“Shit, this happens every time I drink.”