Professor (sitting beside his bed with a shoe in his hand): "Now let's see, am I going to sleep or waking up ?"
The university professor and his wife were leaving church. Professor : "Ha, ha! Who's absent-minded now ? You forgot your umbrella and left it in church, but I remembered mine and I picked up yours, too." Wife : "Fine -- but the trouble is, neither you nor I brought an umbrella to church today!"