One of the world greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," he said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off."
*** Professor Jones was visiting a ranch out in Texas. He looked at a rope in his hand and mumbled to himself, "One of the two things -- either I've found a rope or lost a horse."
*** Professor (sitting beside his bed with a shoe in his hand): "Now let's see, am I going to sleep or waking up ?"
The university professor and his wife were leaving church. Professor : "Ha, ha! Who's absent-minded now ? You forgot your umbrella and left it in church, but I remembered mine and I picked up yours, too." Wife : "Fine -- but the trouble is, neither you nor I brought an umbrella to church today!"