Is it cause I am deaf?
Is it cause I am 'too much of a woman'? as some say
Is it cause I give off vibes of neediness?
Is it cause I am ulgy?
Is it cause compared to other woman I am undesirable?
Is it cause personality wise I suck as a person?
Is it cause I give too much?
I am confused, frustrated, lonely.
No one understands me at all. 31 is no better than 30. Especially when I am still technically a virgin. Tired of people saying they want me but stand me up. Tired of people saying or doing things that ends up hurting me so deeply that i can't cry.
I am scared now that I will never trust another man as long as I live and breathe. What is wrong with me that no man wants me even for a one night stand, nevermind forever it doesn't exist anymore. No real men out there. All so greedy and selfish or go to the other extreme so needy and doormat kind.
What happened to real men? Where are they? Something totally seriously wrong with me. No one will tell me the real reason. Except to keep saying over and over again its them not me. But if that is all i ever hear then i know its me not them.
Scared to die alone scared the next twenty to fourty years alone. I rather die now then endure that kind of loneliness and watch others enjoy life.
I never used to mind being alone, since i been alone for years. Then someone woke me up out of a deep sleep, but then keeps pushing me away or never wanting to meet me.
I am seriously unhinged, insane. I am seriously a nymhpo I want sex all the time but go without even masturbating isn't enough anymore, toys turn me off.
Tired of existing tired of living to serve others. I want to live a life that is full of life. I can't explain i can't seem to get my need across.