As a kid growing up I used to look forward to thanksgiving, the family dinner that we were late for because my mom was on the phone to her sister (my aunt, where we were
having the dinner. a 5 min. drive ) all the specials that were on t,v,, the fact that some how the day AFTER thanksgiving everything suddenly changed to CHRISTMAS!! (YAAAAA!!!!) and the fact that back then I did not suffer from depression, certainly not to the extent I do now. Now I DREAD the holidays. My depression is much worse
during this time of year and over the years I have become much more introverted and seclusive. I detest parties, not that I was ever that comfortable in those situations, but now it almost causes a panic attack. So far I have been able to keep from running from the room screaming in terror! lol Recently had a work christmas party and dreaded
every minute of it. I do better if I am doing something, checking people in, working in the kitchen, so on...then I don't have to "BE SOCIAL" make small talk etc...
So most of the time I handle my depression pretty well, however this time of year is the worst. Most of the year I look at and deal with depression on a more intellectual level.
I am single because of the depression and what it has done and continues to do to me. I have made the CHOICE to be single. This time of year that choice, at times, becomes
very hard to live with and reconcile with my religion and sexual / emotional needs (yes ladies we men have EMOTIONAL needs too. Don't let one tell you differently ).
So every year I try to exist through the holidays and so far I have been successful lol...some years are easier than others .
Well all for this entry,
I truly wish each of you a great holiday season whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or even "Festivus" (you know who you are...lol) or what ever have a great Holiday Season!!