I recently got a job at Turkey Hill. For those of you who don't know what the hell Turkey Hill is, LOL, it's a chain of convenience stores/gas stations in my area. I know there are many states that don't have Turkey Hill locations at all, but even so, you've probably at least seen Turkey Hill ice cream at your local grocery store.
Anyway, I got hired at a Turkey Hill store in Hazleton. That's close to an hour's drive from where I live, and the manager there hired me to start at $7.25/hour and a minimum of 32 hours/week. No, it's not really worth my time and the gas to drive up there for minimum wage and part-time work, but it's a job at all, and I've been unemployed for almost a year, so I'm pretty desperate for a job, and I decided to take what I could get. Mr._C. recently lost his job, and I thought that maybe we'd be alright if I got any job at all and he could collect unemployment until he finds another job.
I've got people calling me because I'm having trouble paying my bills. If I don't pay for my July car insurance by the 18th, then I'll have to pay for two months or lose my car insurance. Last month, I took money out of my retirement account to pay bills, and I'll eventually have to pay the rest of the penalty for taking that money early, but it's getting bad, and I really had no choice. So I hope you can understand why I took the Turkey Hill job. If nothing else, I thought it might boost my morale. I've felt more depressed in the past year than I think I've ever felt in my life - even during my first year of teaching, which was awful and made me want to quit and move back home basically every day. If nothing else, I thought that having a job of any kind would at least make me feel better about myself.
So Rich, the manager, scheduled me for training today, and I was scheduled to work 8:00 A.M.-3:00 P.M. Tuesday through Friday this week once I had been trained. I would have gotten paid for the training, so I would have gotten my 32 hours this week right away. But I go to the training this afternoon, and I didn't have everything I needed. I had read the instructions and knew I needed to have TWO forms of identification, but all I remembered to bring with me was my driver's license as I keep my social security card and birth certificate at home in a file with my other important papers - like my life insurance policy and Mr._C.'s GED. Because I didn't have a second form of identification, I wasn't allowed to stay at the training session and have to call my manager and have him reschedule it. That, of course, means that I can't work this week because I haven't been trained, and it's my own fault. I knew I needed another form of identification, and I just forgot to take it, so I ended up screwing myself, and I feel like a fucking idiot, and I'm so mad at myself.
I came home and just cried while Mr._C. hugged me. He said it was alright, but it's not alright with me. It's my fault completely - I fucked up, and if I had been a little more focused and had prepared for the training last night with everything I'd need, I wouldn't have forgotten anything, and I'd be there right now. I'd be able to work this week.
To make matters worse, I think Mr._C. was embarrassed when I came home so soon because he had his Fleshlight out. Obviously, he used it since he thought I was going to be gone for at least four hours at the training session, which meant that he had some alone time. Neither of us have really had any alone time since he lost his job. I got the Sqweel in the mail last week but haven't been able to use it yet because I haven't been alone so that I could masturbate with a toy. I'm able to do it manually when he's asleep because there's no noise, but the Sqweel has a motor, and I'd wake him up if I tried to use it while he was asleep.
He said that he didn't want me to be mad. But that's not even close to how I feel about it. I told him that I had been hoping he'd masturbate while I was gone because we've been around each other basically 24/7 since he lost his job. And he had only used his Fleshlight once since I bought it for him (until today), and I know he was impressed by it that first time, so I want him to be able to use it more. But when I'm always around, that obviously doesn't happen. I know it might sound a little weird for me to say that I want him to masturbate, but it's the truth. I do it, so there's no reason why he shouldn't do it, too, if he wants to. Even in a relationship, it's completely healthy, IMO, for both partners to masturbate. On my way home from the training session, I was actually thinking to myself that I'd feel really bad if I came home so early and interrupted him. I was only gone for about an hour when he was expecting me to be gone for at least four. I felt bad for interrupting his solo time - even if I didn't walk in on him in the middle of masturbating - because this is the first time in a while that he's had the opportunity. I feel like I ruined it for him because he told me that he had started pretty much right after I left and thought he'd maybe get off more than once while I was gone. I'm both embarrassed and bummed that he had to change his plans because I came home early. But I'm glad he got to use his Fleshlight again at least once.
He was even still a little hard when I got home. He came over to me while I was sitting in his computer chair and sort of playfully/jokingly poked at me with his erection, humping my stomach, LOL. I guess it hadn't been that long since he had finished. Seems like he was happy to get to use his Fleshlight again. And he said he's still horny, so we'll most likely have sex tonight. He said he wanted to "bang" me last night, but I ended up going to sleep with an ice pack over my eyes because I had a headache and wanted to shut out all light. But I'm feeling fine - physically - now, so I said I'd bang him later when I wasn't so upset any longer.
I hope he believes me when I tell him I'm not mad about him masturbating when I'm not around. I told him that I haven't had a chance to use my Sqweel because I haven't had alone time either, and he said that we could always use it together, but that's not really the point. Hopefully, he realizes that I understand how important it is to get that time away from each other that provides the opportunity to masturbate. I'm genuinely bummed that he didn't get to use his Fleshlight more today. As I said, he had only used it once - before today - since I bought it for him, and it doesn't seem to be because he isn't interested in using it. It just seems like he needs a significant enough block of time to be able to use and enjoy it, watch some porn, and clean up before I return, which he just doesn't get because we're always together.
Anyway, I have to call my manager tomorrow and have him reschedule the training. The next session is next Monday morning, so it'll be another week without a paycheck.
I e-mailed my resume to a friend of mine because she said that they're looking for someone where her dad works. She forwarded my resume to her dad, and I'm hoping for good news. Will keep you updated on that situation. They're looking for someone with a four-year degree for a customer service position, so I'm sure I'd be getting paid more than minimum wage and probably decent benefits.
The only issue is that I'd have to move, and that would be complicated right now because I can't afford my own place. It's closer to my mom's place, so I might have to live with her during the week while I'm commuting to work and come back here to be with Mr._C. on weekends. But my mom's boyfriend isn't keen on me living there after my brother just moved out about a week ago. That's understandable as her boyfriend probably feels like they finally just got their life/house/privacy back - me moving in so soon after my brother moved out would probably cramp their style. My mom called me and cried on the phone yesterday because she wants to be able to help me out and make everyone happy, but I don't know if she'll be able to do that. If I can't live with her, then I might be able to live with my grandmother - her house is a little farther from the job, but it's still significantly closer than where I'm currently living with my future MIL. I told my mom that I'd find a way if things work out and I get this customer service job. My fingers are crossed.
Either way, life goes on. Man, I'd really love to get high right now, but we don't have money to buy weed either.
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