Posted by Not Sure 69 , Sun Oct 16, 2011 02:56 PM
About two years ago I was watching some porn clips on a popular website. I clicked on a hot looking threesome video featuring two hot blondes and a great looking guy with tattoos. The amateur video was focused on one of the blondes and her ability to squirt multiple times. I was shocked when she let loose the first time. My first thought was "Omg! She is Peeing!" I watched the clip a couple more times and came to the conclusion it was a mislabeled water sports video. I put the video out of my mind until I started hearing about female ejaculation and the g-spot. Suddenly the video I stumbled across made more sense! True to form, my juvenile emotional reaction to sex reared it's ugly head. I went through a period where I engaged in plenty of sex with my partner but couldn't or wouldn't explore my own sexual potential. I put the whole subject of g-spots orgasms out my mind believing only some women are capable of having them.
As I began to immerse myself in sexuality, forcing myself into changing my "learned" reaction(s) toward my own desires, I started getting irritated by clitoral orgasms and masturbating. I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with masturbating but got the feeling I was missing out by relying on them. They are quick and easy but I started yearning for something more, deeper and more "whole-bodied" instead of localized and ultra sensitive... My clit sort of has a refractory period and I am seldom have back to back citoral orgasms. This all happened around the me time I started browsing Sex Forums. I didnt have an account and just read threads available to the public. The ones pertaining to other types of orgasms caught my eye and captured my imagination. I started to scour the web for information on other ways to get off. I had anal sex with my guy and found the closeness that resulted from the experience enabled me to tell him I wanted to try having g-spot orgasms and hopefully ejaculate one day. He thought squirting was an urban myth or a porn gimmick too. He was intrigued. With a positive reaction from him in hand I bought a couple of books. One was focused solely on female ejaculation and the other dealt with g-spot pleasure in general. The first book was a bit hokey and included some strange new age stuff that didn't sit well with me. It DOES contain a some priceless anatomical representations that made buying it worthwhile. The author included photos of wax molds taken of actual g-spots, or the periurethral sponge. There was also illustrations of the entire clitorous as a sex organ instead of a blip on a rendering of reproductive anatomy. It's an amazingly complex little organ! The part you see is literally the tip of the iceberg.
I decided I needed a good g-spot toy after some frustrating attempts at using my fingers... My wrists cramped horribly! Lol I started a thread asking for reviews and opinions of good toys. Surprisingly, the best review was for a simple glass wand that has a serious bend in it creating almost a ninety degree angle. My devoted guy ordered it for me so I could continue my explorations. I loved the toy on sight but the sensations it produces is amazing.
My g-spot started out rather unresponsive and almost painful. But being determined, I began retraining myself to enjoy the feeling. It was shockingly easy! I began to think about my g-spot, envision it swelling, the prickly feeling was my own arousal after all. I knew the way I orgasmed was creating a lot of problems too. When masturbating I tended to tighten my muscles and clench up for the big moment. I started making myself masturbate with my legs spread and completely relaxed as an orgasm builds. I also noticed that while I have good pc muscle control I seldom allowed my pussy to relax. I now incorporate flexing of the four muscle groups that comprise my pc muscles and tighten and relax them. I try to be aware of my pussy at all times. For too long I ignored and denied this portion of my anatomy... After only one session with my toy I orgasmed intensely. From then on it has only improved. I started using Ben Wa balls again (lovely things those) positioned so that there is constant and direct pressure on my g-spot. As I walk I use the muscles in my pussy to move the lower ball up and down over it. Pushing ever so slightly adding pressure, then adding a bounce to my step to jiggle the interior ball. Even though the inner ball's movement is subtle it feels like it is spanking my spot. DELICIOUS!!
There are a couple of unforeseen developments however. I am discovering a desire to be bound and dominated. The thought of being helpless and under someone else's control makes my pussy throb. I am pretty shocked by this. Finding this hidden kink is unexpected but not altogether unpleasant. I am frightened by it in the most delightful way. I don't know if S&M (beyond spanking) will ever be a factor but teasing and denial appeal to me. I *think* being denied an orgasm and told I am NOT to have one will make me more orgasmic. Perhaps with the "right" training I can even learn to come on command. I didn't know that bondage doesn't have to include S&M. Discovering that they don't have to be mutually exclusive is liberating. The full extent of my new fascination is the subject of another blog entry altogether though... I digress.
The only drawback to my g-spot play is the amount of time that goes into it... I don't mind how long it takes. I mind that I don't always have the time to devote to doing it! Lol! I take about thirty minutes to have an orgasm. I am close, so close, right away but it still takes me that long to relax enough to get off. Until last night that is. I was reading a bdsm erotic novel but didn't feel especially horny or aroused by the story... Or so I thought! All of a sudden I craved some release. I scampered out to the camper and grabbed my wand and a vibrator. Within seconds I climaxed. I managed to come three or four times in an hour or so. This is huge and tells me volumes about just how repressed I can be...
Until my next entry....