I’ve talked about my promiscuous nature before so it’s no secret. In the past year I have slept with 15 different men. And I would say only a handful were worth going back to a second time. Last march I had broken up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He was the first person I had ever slept with and the only at that time. I had felt stifled and wanted to experience more. I had always felt that I had a high sex drive and it would only get stronger after I finally did it.
I would like to consider myself a very giving lover who pays special attention to what a man wants or how he feels. I’m not selfish at all. Yet I’ve come to learn that casual sex is pretty much that. There is really no need to care about how the other person feels as long as you get yours. Its supposed to be mutual pleasure but in the many terrible experiences I’ve had it was all about theirs. How would a girl not get turned off by this? Or better yet why would I keep putting myself through this?
Reflecting back I don’t know if it was me or them. Of the 10 I did not go back to a second time it felt horribly wrong each time. Several of them were absolutely selfish and were done when they came. And it wasn’t just them cumming but the fact that they has cum so quickly. Only one out of the many that came in (what I find) an unusually fast amount of time waited to go again (though he came just as fast the second time around). I usually got absolutely nothing out of it.
Then there was complete inexperience. Perhaps I’m being too hard but nothing is more frustrating than a man who says all the right things but when it’s time to actually show, you can tell it was a lot of talk. I’m very patient but I cannot be patient with someone who doesn’t listen when I’m trying to instruct. Or someone who is completely oblivious.
The one virgin I had. He told me he wasn’t a virgin (he’d had one other partner) but deep down I knew he was lying. I’m not opposed to teaching. But I did not like the fact that he ignored everything I was trying to tell him. The way to hold my legs to get the deepest. How to move to keep a steady rhythm. It was a mess and I got absolutely no pleasure from it. I allowed him to get off all the while waiting for it to be over. He asked to go down on me but I was so frustrated at that point I just ended up leaving.
Then there are times I know it’s not me. I had a guy ask me for months to have sex with him. I mean every few weeks he would text me asking me to. For the longest time I didn’t because I was already being satisfied. But I eventually relented and told him I would when I wasn’t getting anything else. So I get there and there is kissing and touching. He begins fingering me and I’m ready to fuck. I ask for a condom and he tells me he has none. All day long he could have gone to the store but didn’t then he asked me if I could go buy some. I don’t think I even need to say what happened next.
I think I kept doing to because when I really got a good one it was so worth it. I just wonder if it was me that made my experiences bad. I don’t know what else I can do. Maybe it’s the guys looking for a quick fuck that are completely lazy. I don’t think I can deal with it anymore. My last and final time was a few weeks ago. Just that day a great guy here told me that I fuck too many guys who don’t deserve it and that night I realized he was right. If I have to be celibate for an inordinate amount of time until I find someone worthy then so be it. I had my year of fun but now I want to save my pussy for someone who is going to appreciate it and cares about my pleasure.