Posted by LASexAcademy , Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:57 PM
Love is like a... well, that's for another story. But the concept, desire and drive of the feeling of Love is what drives the story. A story that spans over 6,000 miles, two language barriers and several governments. Although this is not the story of a state to different state situation, but more an international connection, the concepts and theories are the same.
As the title suggests, the first major decision is to do it, have a relationship with someone that is usually more than 2-4 hrs from you. There are many ways to define long distance, hell, it used to be who you called, but now it is more of a convenience time. Or the time it takes to get up and drive home.
So you met someone, or you dated someone, and you like them very much. For whatever reason, the situation of one's living location changed and one of you is now moved farther away than the other. Leading up to the move is the Decision Phase - Stay with it or cut it loose.
Stay with it
You made the decision to stay in the relationship knowing that you will have to rely on the greatest pillar of a relationship, trust. The question, how inconceivable as it may be, will bubble up in you and your partner's mind during the decision phase. Can I trust them if they are away? Can they trust me? The concept, practice and influences of trust are greater than the print space here, but needless to say, this is the one that initially makes or breaks the decision. The real questions is not about trust, it is about the underlying foundation of communication. Are you and yours able to communicate clearly and frequently allowing for the unnecessary untrusting thoughts to lurk about. You are in a relationship, you tell others you are in a relationship, you just can not present proof.
Cut it loose
This is really the hardest decision to make in the whole process. This is a decision made directly in the heat of the passion and drive of the happiness between two people. It feels like an epic fail. It hurts all involved. So why do it? Because you are smarter than most! You understood what the Decision Phase required, a test of the strength of your communication path to your partner. After deciding that having sex upside down was mostly what you talked about, you realized that it will take more than just a physical attraction to keep the relationship alive. And do not be fooled, a relationship is a living entity. It lives and breathes every breath you both take. It laughs and crys every time you do. Your relationship cannot live without both of you.
So, back to the story... The long distance relationship in our story was between two people who met, as many of you do, online. One in the US and one in Eastern Europe. The foundation was set early, through all forms of electronic communication - chat, email, yahoo, Skype, etc. Pictures were passed and slowly a picture emerged of the two being together and being happy. Both would fulfill each others missing parts. Two would become one.
Now this is not something done over night. The key, if you have not caught on yet, is patience. Time. Yea, I know, they know, we all know, waiting sucks. Living in our Western fast food order lane as we do, we expect instant gratification. Well, if that is your thinking, a long term relationship is definitely not for you so cut it now! But for a few, understanding the battle, the uphill climb, the long journey, all to reach the final state of bliss, is truly worth every second. For them, the LTR is acceptable.
The Decision Phase ultimately foretells the outcome of the relationship. There will be other, many other, factors that will be obstacles along the way, but let's tackle them at another time.