I was born April 4th, 1987 in Cambridge, Minnesota. I have lived in Minnesota my whole life. I’ve been to Wisconsin once but other then that I have never been really been out of the state. I grew up in a town called Farmington, (population 13) ok maybe it was a little more but not much. Let’s just say it was a real small town out in the middle of nowhere. I was the first born of three, I have a younger brother and a younger sister.
My parents were super ultra religious and so strict I think prison life would have been easier. We didn’t have a TV, computer, and weren’t allowed to listen to any music unless it was religious, classical, or polka. I don’t mind classical so much but I can’t stand polka and lost any taste for most religious music. We hardly ever got to go to a movie, even though my parents did all the time.
When ever I did anything wrong I got spanked and/or grounded. If your thinking being spanked isn’t such a bad thing let me explain, most of the time it was with a belt or a board that had a handle and it was never just one or two swats. My dad would keep hitting until he thought (in his words, until we broke and could hear it in our crying). I would get spanked for getting anything lower then a “B” in school, for not getting the dishes washed fast enough for them, even though there was nothing else pressing that had to be done, for not answering a question fast enough, and one time I even got a spanking for being depressed. They thought I was pouting and being selfish, and I didn’t have a right to do that in there presence.
I could never be myself with them, I wasn’t allowed to get mad, moody, bored, or just wanting to be left alone. I always had chores and no allowance like other kids did. My parents considered the food and clothing they bought was all I needed.
When Christmas came around most of what I got was cloths, dress cloths for church, and if I got any money they would take it and say it was for my collage fund, but even when I was little I knew I would never see it again (and I was right). And yes I know (as my mother would say) it could always be worse, and yea I do know it could have been but with that said I still hated living there and the way I grew up.
I went to public school so I wasn’t completely closed off from the world. I had some things or other people to compare my life to. My parents always tried to say it was because we were Christians and didn’t live of the world.
Now that I’m older and have been able to think for myself, I have my own understanding of God and religion. To put things short I still believe in God with all my heart, but I don’t believe in organized religion. I still believe I’m a Christian, maybe not the best Christian, maybe not even a good Christian, but I still have my beliefs and faith despite every thing else.
It wasn’t all bad, each summer I got to spend a few weeks up north at my Uncles lake cabin where I got to be myself with out fearing my parents rule.
I think my Uncle took pity on me and felt sorry for me. He told me once that he thought my parents should be locked up in an insane asylum. I don’t think he ever liked my dad, but other then that he never really said much about it or why he felt that way.
He would tell my parents that I would be a big help at the cabin cleaning up the lot each year, and that it wasn’t really a vacation because there was so much work to be done. But all in all there really wasn’t much work to do and even then my Uncle did most of the stuff that had to be done.
At my Uncles cabin I got to go swimming, fishing, camping, hiking, and out all by myself exploring the woods. To put it bluntly I loved being at my Uncles cabin. It’s the only place I have ever really felt free.
Now this is where things get real personal, I remember this almost as if it were yesterday, I was (censored)years old, it happened the morning of July 3rd, the day I truly fell in love and lost my virginity.
With out going into to much detail of how we met, keeping this part short, my Uncle was adding on to his cabin that year and doing some remodeling. So he had some extra people up there to help him with it. Most of them were only around on the weekend to help, (and drink beer) the only people that staid during the week were my Uncle, his girl friend Jenny, and a boy that was the son of an old family friend.
I guess I shouldn’t say boy, he was 19 years old at the time. His family knew mine and even went to the same church as we did, so it wasn’t like I had just met him, we had known each other for years. I always liked him, but thought he was too old for me or actually just thought he was way above my class.
But I guess at the time that never really mattered because I wasn’t allowed to date or anything that could even be considered a possibility of being with a boy. Even at a church event if I talked to a boy for to long my parents would stop it. Holding hands with a boy would have been considered a sin in my parent’s mind (I got a real bad spanking one time for doing just that with a neighbor boy).
Anyway, at the cabin during the week when it was just the four of us he would tease me, flirt with me, and compliment me, which my Uncle and Jenny would promote a lot of times. He made me feel good, not just the normal good, but also good about myself. He made me feel beautiful and even sexy at times.
(Sexy) just the thought or idea any where around my parents would have been a mortal sin. But up at the cabin I was free from that, allowed to be myself and do what I wanted to do, instead of what I was told to do or had to do.
It wasn’t easy for me to respond to him very well because I was extremely shy but I think because of (or with the help of) my Uncle and his girlfriend I was able to open up more then I would have ever on my own. His name was Justin, and I was starting to fall in love.
That alone was sort of confusing at the time, I was taught that it was suppose to be wrong, or at least it was wrong until you were old enough to get married.
Well to put things short I feel for him hard.
I remember the first time he touched me. I had been lying out on the dock letting the warm sun dry me off after having been swimming. Justin had spent most of the day working with my uncle on the cabin. I remember watching him walk down the hill with no shirt on and skin shining from sweat, once he got to the dock he broke into a run right past me and dove into the water. I watched him swim out to the swim platform and back, and then he got out and laid down next to me on the dock.
I got a little self conscious wearing only a bathing suit and I guess I was sort of covering myself with out knowing it. We were both lying on our side facing each other. He reached out taking my hand and actually lifted my arm away from across my chest and pulled it so my arm was resting against my side, while still holding my hand on my hip.
I watched his eyes move down my body and he said I shouldn’t cover myself up because I was too beautiful. Instinctively I sort of moved to put my hand back where it was but he held it tight against my hip not letting me move it.
His eyes lingered on my chest and despite it being a hot day out I got the shivers and could feel goose bumps rising from my skin. I had to take a deep breath just to regain my inner calm. I swear my heart was beating so fast, I felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
His eyes looked into mine and I think out of shyness I looked away, looking down. I wasn’t sure at the time but I am pretty sure now, what I saw, looking down I saw the outline of his penis against his shorts (cut off jeans). I didn’t look but for an instant, not wanting him to think I was looking at it, instead I rolled onto my back, his hand keeping a grasp on mine and sliding across to rest on my belly.
I liked feeling his hand, but his hand was strong and bigger then mine and after a bit my fingers started to get soar entwined in his so I moved my hand from his letting him rest his hand on my belly with mine on top of his.
I really didn’t do much talking at all, but I did try to listen to what he was talking about, things they did on the cabin, wanting to go fishing before the sun went down and so on. I guess I really didn’t hear much of what he said I was sort of in my own world, my mind was going wild all on its own.
Here was Justin, touching me. (And as far as I was considered at the time, I was close to being naked, only wearing a one piece bathing suit.) I remember looking down at one point and seeing my own nipples sticking out noticeably, and looking up the hill seeing my uncle and Jenny drinking beer and looking down at us from the patio. Most of the time I just closed my eyes, feeling the warm sun and Justin’s hand on me, and doing my best not to panic inside.
Later that evening my uncle and Justin took the boat out and went fishing. My uncle’s girlfriend Jenny and I staid at the cabin cleaning up after dinner and doing our best to clean up after the mess they made working on the cabin.
Jenny asked me what I thought of Justin. I sort of tried to say I liked him but at the same time to sort of make it sound like I wasn’t seriously feeling anything for him, and tried to change the subject. But she actually stopped both of us from what we were doing and with a hand on my shoulder and a stern look she told me not to lie to her.
I don’t know why, but I just lost it then and broke down and started to cry, I think I was overwhelmed with the feelings I had for him and at the same time guilt for having those feeling and then being found out by Jenny and most likely my uncle to.
I don’t think she was expecting my emotional breakdown, she pulled me close hugging me tighter then anyone ever has before. So tight, I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra as she held my head pressing me against her chest, and she just held me there until I started to get control over my sobbing.
I knew my tears must have been soaking through her blouse but she didn’t seem to care, she just held me close. When I started to come to my scenes again I could hear her softly telling me, it’s ok, it’s ok… I really wasn’t accustom to that sort of sympathy or comforting, but it felt good and I just sort of melted. Not letting go of me she lead us to the sofa, where she continued to hold and comfort me.
I remember her hand running through my hair sort of petting my head and combing my hair with her fingers at the same time.
I started to say I was sorry, but she interrupted me and stated that “Justin was right”. I think my eyes must have popped open in surprise, wondering what it was that Justin might have told her and why he was right about it.
She held me out and with a towel that was on the sofa dried my face, and said that while they were working on the cabin Justin had said that I was to beautiful to be so shy and she continued to explain that he said I had a sexy body as well and shouldn’t be hiding it in the frumpy cloths I always wore.
I didn’t know what to say or even how to respond to that statement. My mind was going in several different directions at once trying to comprehend what she just told me and to figure out if it was a good thing or a bad thing. In her statement she said that he was right, so she also agreed with him.
I think I started to explain that I wasn’t that pretty, (even then I was a little over weight,) and also that my parents would never let me dress nicer. But she sort of stopped me in mid sentence and stated that my parents were messed up and had their own issues. (I sort of knew that, but they were my parents and I was never allowed to talk back or tell them they were wrong about anything, much less have their own issues. But to hear someone else tell me that, much less an adult that thought that way about them, sort of threw me a bit.)
We talked for a bit, mostly about the things my parents were doing and what was wrong about it, and that I needed to start thinking for myself.
We also talked about Justin and the real feelings I was feeling for him. She told me about past boy friends, her ex-husband, and other relationships of hers. I had never opened up to anyone like I did with her that day.
She had me follow her into their bedroom and asked me if I had any sort of sexy cloths, a lace bra, satin panties, anything? The closest thing I had to sexy was the one piece bathing suit, which I only wore when I was at the cabin or had swimming in school. Yea I had bras and underwear but it wasn’t what I thought was sexy, just your plain white or grey cotton bras and “granny” panties.
She started pulling things from her bags asking if she had anything I might like. I guess I sort of started to get shy again and just sort of looked at the things she had. Finely she handed me a top and said to try it on, that she was certain this would be something Justin would like to see me in.
It was a tight fitting tank top, I went into the other room and changed out of my frumpy t-shirt and put it on. When I came back into the room she had me stand in front of a mirror and asked me what I though.
I looked at myself and I didn’t like it. I had seen her wearing it and it looked really nice on her, but on me it just made me feel fat.
I started to tell her it looked better on her, but she stopped me and said it’s the bra. She turned me around and said sometimes us girls need to adjust things to make things right. And as she said that she reached out pulling at my bra with one hand and grabbing my breast with her other lifting it up and then did the same with my other breast. I just stood there and let her adjust my breast.
She stood back and paused to take a look at me, and again stated it’s the bra. She explained that this top always looked better when she wasn’t wearing a bra, and with that she reached around behind me under the shirt and unclasped it and help me pull it off. And again she adjusted my breast and then tucked the bottom into the waist band of my pants.
She stood back again to take a look and as a big smile came across her face she motioned for me to turn around and look in the mirror. When I looked I instinctively wanted to cover myself, but I didn’t, and instead just looked. My breast were bigger then Jenny’s because I was fat, and this top almost wrapped completely around them. You could almost see the entire shape of my boobs and my nipples were poking out, the top was even showing the top of my boobs (cleavage).
Jenny got next to me as I was looking at myself and whispered into my ear, “See you are sexy”. And for the first time in my life I could agree with her, I looked sexy.
We spent the next couple of hours talking more and both of us trying on different out fits of hers. When I was around her I lost my shyness, to the point that we would change in front of each other. Jenny gave me a couple of outfits that she said looked better on me then it did her, including some shear night shirts. And she promised to take me shopping in town before the week was through for some nicer looking and better fitting underwear.
It happened the next day we went shopping and she bought me a couple of matching sets, a see threw lace bra and panties, light pink satin bra and thong panties, and a black licra sports bra that she said I could wear on the hot days when we were working with the guys to stay cool.
She also bought me some beauty stuff like a little bit of make-up, body spray, and a lady razor (which she commented that sometimes the bush needs trimming, I didn’t know what she meant at the time, but while talking to her on the way back to the cabin she explained it to me).
As the week went on I got bolder with the cloths Jenny gave me. I liked dressing sexy, even if at times no one else could see just how sexy I was dressing under my cloths. Even though I felt guilty about it, it still made me feel good; I even started to sleep in the nighties Jenny gave me.
The night it happened, it was so hot I couldn’t sleep so I got up and went out and sat on the dock. I was sure every one else was asleep so I didn’t bother putting anything else on over the shear night shirt I was wearing.
I never heard him as Justin came up from behind me, scaring me out of my wits as he said, you couldn’t sleep either? There I was outside practically naked, wearing a nearly see threw nightie, my heart beating like mad, and nowhere to go. I just nodded, to shy or nervous to look up at him, but when he sat down next to me I noticed he wasn’t wearing much ether, just a pair of really loose fitting shorts that he slept in.
He said something about how he liked how the moon reflected off the water at night and having noticed that before he walked out there, I had to agree with him, saying it was so peaceful.
I remember exactly his next words, he said, “peaceful and romantic”.
He moved closer to me and wrapped his arm across my back, letting his hand rest on my hip. It was weird, but it felt right, this whole time at the cabin with him I got closer and closer to him. I wanted him to like me, to find me attractive and sexy.
I pushed any guilt I had at the time out of my mind and just enjoyed the attention he was giving me. I remember resting my head on his shoulder and him hugging me closer, feeling his hand move up and down my side.
We didn’t really talk much, mostly just sat there watching the water. After a while and a couple of really slow soft kiss’s we headed back to the cabin, and went back to bed (separate rooms).
I don’t know how long I laid there awake to excited to sleep, my mind not able to turn off, thinking about Justin holding and kissing me.
I must have just started to dose off, because the next thing I knew was Justin was there crawling into bed with me. I was lying on my side facing the wall and he moved up behind me (spooning me) and after he pulled the blanket back over us he wrapped his arm around me. I knew we shouldn’t be in the same bed, but it felt good. So I just closed my eyes, snuggled into him, and didn’t say anything. It took a while but I’m sure we just both fell asleep like that.
I remember waking up and listening to a bird just outside my window, it was still dark but figured the sun must just be coming up for the bird to start singing already.
Justin was still there holding me, and I knew he was awake to because his hand had moved from resting next to my belly to softly holding my breast. I can remember it so vividly. His hand moved so slow and soft, but he was defiantly awake and knew what he was doing. I just laid there motionless trying to act like I was still sleeping.
Inside I was super nervous, but at the same time feeling him next to me and touching me felt so good. His hand would move across my chest, softly squeezing my breast, lightly brushing my nipple, and then back down to my belly. He moved so slowly, his hand touching more and more of me as he moved, from my belly to my breast, to my hip and leg, and back again.
All the while I didn’t move a bit, to nervous or maybe to scared he would stop if I did. I didn’t want him to stop, to be truthful I didn’t really know what I wanted at the time.
I knew he was turned on (I could feel it pressing against my butt), and I knew that this could lead to actual sex (which I also knew I wasn’t ready for), but I liked feeling him next to me and touching me like he was.
Then one of the times his hand came back up from my leg it went under my nighty, his finger traced the waist band of the lace panties Jenny had just gotten for me a couple days before, and then moved farther up until his bare hand was against my bare breast.
His hand was so warm on my skin and he moved so soft and slow.
I don’t know how long it took but he had figured out I was awake. I knew he knew when, with his other hand he brushed the hair away from my neck and started kissing me. Then he whispered to me how beautiful I was and how good my skin felt.
I couldn’t help but to smile big, I didn’t say anything, but just to sort of reaffirm I wasn’t mad and didn’t want him to stop I sort of just pressed into him more and then with my hands I squeezed the hand against my breast harder into my chest, which he responded by squeezing my breast even harder.
His movements got more deliberate after that, not quite as soft, but definitely still feeling good to me. After spending some time squeezing my breast (sometimes so hard I swear he would leave bruises in the form of finger prints all over them) pinching and pulling on my nipples, his hand moved back down over my belly, but this time instead of moving up over my hip and to my leg, his fingers pushed under the waist band of my panties.
I got scared and moved to stop him, I grabbed his wrist stopping him from pushing his hand any farther into my panties. He didn’t fight me and didn’t push any farther, but as I held him from going farther he brushed at the top of my pubes (At that point I was happy I had taken Jenny’s advice and “trimmed the bush”).
He finely pulled his hand back out and then back up over my belly and back to my breast.
(Looking back on it, it’s hard to believe I felt this way, but) I knew he was turned on and I wasn’t completely stupid about guys and sex, I didn’t want to come off as a tease or get him disappointed or frustrated with me. I rolled over onto my back and looking into his eyes I timidly asked him if he was mad (not sure I wanted to know the answer).
I couldn’t read the expression on his face, it was sort of blank, and he didn’t answer right away. His hand was still on my breast, I think I almost broke into tears, and again I pressed his hand harder into my chest waiting for him to answer.
He finely said it was ok and that he understood, but I got the feeling he wasn’t telling me the truth. I sort of got the feeling he was going to get up and leave, but I didn’t want him to and held his hand tight to my chest.
I then leaned up to kiss him, but he met me pushing me back down to the pillow kissing me back.
His hand started to move again, squeezing up on my breast to my nipple which he pinched and pulled up on to the point it started to hurt. I was about to complain, but when I started to open my mouth he pressed harder with his lips and pushed his tongue into my mouth. Anyway he let up on my nipple and I just went with it, kissing him back.
That lasted for a while, making out, his leg moving over mine resting between my legs, his hand all over my chest, our tongues dancing together. (I can still remember the taste and feel of his tongue, it was good.)
After a bit of this he took my hand in his and moved it to his shorts, he pulled down on his shorts and wrapped my hand around his penis. I remember thinking how warm it was and how thick it was, I think my first thoughts was it felt to hard to be natural, but at the same time the skin around it sort of felt like velvet (it just felt weird). He moved my hand a little bit showing me how to play with it. Then he went back to kissing me and playing with my chest.
As he played with my chest he kept moving my top higher and higher until he had just finely pushed it high enough it was sort of bunched up above my breast and around my neck. When he went to pull it over my head I just went with it and sat up a little to make it easer for him to get it off me. When I laid back down he sort of sat up and just looked at me pulling the blanket back so he could see more of me.
I got a little embarrassed and went to cover myself with the hand that wasn’t busy, but he just pushed my hand away.
He leaned back down over me kissing me again, then he moved farther down kissing my neck and even farther down until he was kissing and sucking on my nipple. He would take turns going from nipple to nipple, at times trying to suck as much as he could into his mouth.
It sort of felt good, but I think at the time it felt more weird and awkward then anything else, especially when I could feel him sort of slobbering all over my breast. I could feel his drool all over my breast and running down between them.
I think it was also at that time that I felt my hand getting a little wet to, my first thought was his spit was getting everywhere but then I realized it couldn’t be. The next thing I knew was I had a mess against my leg and in my hand, and he was breathing real hard.
I didn’t really know what to do so I just kept holding onto it. He rolled over onto his back and I just stared at his chest moving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. When he caught his breath he sort of sat up and scooted his shorts all the way off stating he didn’t want to get cum all over them (He didn’t seem to care about getting it on me or the blankets).
Then he rolled over again back on his side facing me and took a hold of my hand again and started moving it all around his cum covered penis and balls softly whispering to me how beautiful I was and how good my hand felt at the same time telling me what to do (squeeze it like that, massage the balls “softly”, and back again).
He started kissing my neck again and playing with my chest, and moving his hand all over. His hand went under the waist band of my panties again and when I went to stop him he said he just wanted to make me feel good like I did for him, so despite my better judgment I didn’t stop him, and his hand went deeper.
His fingers ran through my “trimmed bush” and then a finger pushed farther down into my folds. He lifted his leg putting it over mine making me spread my legs a little wider and when I did he pushed his finger farther down.
He whispered into my ear telling me just how warm and wet I was and how he liked how I felt.
He then lifted his head up and let it rest on my breast, using it as a pillow while he concentrated more on what his hand was doing inside my panties.
He played for a long time, pushing his finger up and down, spreading my lips this way and that, pushing the tip of a finger into me but not real deep (he knew I was a virgin, and I don’t think he wanted to put his finger to deep inside as to hurt me or “pop my cherry”).
He seemed to be doing his best to pull what ever moisture out of me and spread it all over between my legs, so much so I remember my new panties feeling damp at the edges.
I think he finely figured out he had gotten me wet enough because you could actually hear it as his fingers moved back and forth, and he started to concentrate more on my clit.
At first he was pressing to hard and it hurt, I had to tell him to go softer. The whole thing felt a little clumsy to me, but at the same time, the longer it went the more I was able to relax and just go with it, and it did start to feel good.
His whole hand was now inside my panties and I could feel the waist band pulling at my hips and digging into my skin, so when he told me I should take them off, I didn’t really argue.
Once I sat up, pulled them off and lay back down, he was sitting up spreading my legs wide and kneeled between them, I remember him lifting my legs up and feeling his knees pressed against my butt. I immediately got scared he was going to try and put his penis inside me and I started to sit up and pull away, but as I did his hand went back to doing was it was doing before, and it didn’t take him long to start using both hands.
I could feel one hand spreading my lips open as a finger tip from the other sort of pushed into me a little, all the while using a thumb to massage my clit. After a time I sort of figured out he wasn’t going to go any farther so I started to relax and just laid back closing my eyes and started to enjoy what he was doing to me.
I had never really had an orgasm before (I had heard of them, but didn’t really understand what they were), so when I started to feel it building, at first I just went with it, but then it started to get so intense feeling, I couldn’t help it, my body sort of spasmed or twitched this way and that.
I was thinking that’s what an orgasm was, but the more I spasmed or twitched the faster he got with what he was doing with his fingers, and the more intense the feelings got. To the point I tried to stop him because I felt like I was about to pass out, (I started getting real light headed, which might have been because I was breathing so hard, and my vision sort of got blurry and started going dark) trying to push his hands away from me, but he fought me and kept it up, and that’s when it happened.
My whole body went stiff, and an explosion of light and electricity shot through my entire body and mind (it’s really hard to describe the actual feeling of an orgasm). I was gone, loosing all trace of reality who I was with or where I was.
When I came back to my senses the first thing I remember seeing was that there was light coming through the window now, and he was on top of me, laying on me kissing my neck softly. I was still breathing hard, actually finding it hard to breath with him on top of me, but at the same time my whole body was tingling and the feel of his warm skin pressed to mine really felt good.
That’s when I felt it, the tip of his penis was pressed against my pussy, and I knew I couldn’t stop him. (Looking back now it’s sort of funny, I think even if I could have stopped him I really don’t think I wanted to.)
He started to whisper to me telling me again how beautiful I was and I think how good I felt, but I interrupted him, (he probably thought I was going to tell him to stop or get off of me, but I knew he wouldn’t have even if I begged him, and I wasn’t about to scream, for fear of actually being caught, instead) I asked him if he had ever done this before. (Ok I was stupid back then; I should have known he was already experienced.)
He paused before he answered me, I guess I half expected him to lie to me and tell me it was his first time, but he didn’t, and he was honest with me. He told me he’s been with a few girls. (I guess I expected him to say more, like maybe a, “but you are the most beautiful or the most special” or maybe go into more detail about who he was with or something along those lines. But I’m sort of glad he didn’t say anything else, both because I didn’t want him to lie to me or not really wanting to know who or how many he has been with.)
I just remember looking into his eyes for a brief instant before he pushed into me. I closed my eyes and looked away from him when I felt him enter me. I could feel him push deeper and press against my hymen, he held himself there for a moment putting pressure on it but not pushing anymore.
I knew vividly what was happening now. The things that ran through my mind at that moment, things were going too far, I knew I wasn’t old enough, I wouldn’t be pure after this. I was suppose to be married when this happened, it was suppose to be something special I could give my husband on our wedding night. I almost broke down then, I felt tears forming in my eyes. But instead of letting myself loose control of my emotions I just reached up and wrapped my arms around him.
He started kissing the side of my face so with my eyes still closed tight I turned to meet his lips with mine.
An instant later he started pushing into me harder, slowly pushing threw and past my hymen. I knew it was suppose to hurt when it happened, but I never expected it to hurt and sting that much. He just kept on pushing harder and harder, until all of a sudden my hymen tore and gave way, letting him go even deeper into me.
I had actually stopped breathing and had to concentrate in order to get myself to take a breath. Once he pushed into me as far as he could he stopped and just held himself there. He didn’t move at all.
I finely opened my eyes, and he asked me if I was alright.
I was afraid to speak fearing I would just break down crying. I lied to him then and just nodded to let him know it was ok. I’m not sure if he believed me, because I had obvious tears streaming from my eyes.
I felt him shudder and move a little inside me, he took a real quick breath as he put his head down next to mine, and hugged me tighter. (I didn’t know it at the time, but thinking back on it, I’m sure he must have cum a little when he did that.)
We just hugged each other for the longest time, with him all the way inside me and not moving. Which I was happy for, I think if he would have just got up and started going at me I would have totally lost it. Him just holding me gave me the time I needed to get control over my emotions. (Although looking back on it now he might have stopped so he could last longer and not cum right away. I guess I don’t really know if he was just being nice to me or trying to keep from cumming, I’d like to think he was being nice and cared how I felt.)
My pussy hurt, stung, and felt like I was being ripped open with a thick log deep inside me.
He started kissing my shoulder and sort of sucking on it after a bit, and his hands made there way out to my sides to play with my breast again, which did feel nice.
I remember looking out the window, up at the clouds drifting by when he started to move between my legs. He went real slow as he pulled out, he broke my hug on him as he pulled all the way out of me and sat up again kneeling between my legs.
When I looked up at him he had a goofy smile that I can’t really describe or really understood at the time. When I looked down I saw his penis sticking up and it was a mess. (I think that’s what the smile might have been about, him knowing then that he did in-fact pop my cherry.)
His penis was covered in goo and blood from having been inside me and ripping through my hymen. I was actually grossed out by it a little.
Next he had his hands on my knees spreading me wider, to the point I remember feeling it hurt a little in my groin. I could do the splits but the way he was pushing my legs open felt like I was being stretched even more then that. And he pushed his penis back into me.
It still hurt but the hurt and the stinging were starting to dull as he slowly kept moving in and out of me.
He pulled completely out a few times and sort of poked at me to get it back in, and it happened enough that I started thinking there might be something wrong or maybe I wasn’t in a good position for him.
By then the pain was easier to tolerate and I was able to get myself to relax a little. I pulled up the pillows behind me and sat up a little so I could watch him or to actually see his penis go into me. It was sort of gross, we were both wet, gooie, and bloody down there, but he didn’t seem to care. He just kept pushing it in as far as he could and then back out again.
I figured out he was deliberately pulling completely out now and then on purpose, and it wasn’t me or my position that caused it.
A few times he would push all the way into me stopping, just hold himself there, and I was sure I could feel his penis twitching inside me a few of those times.
His hands were all over me again, squeezing my breast pulling on my nipples and then down my sides over my hip, down my legs and then back up to my butt which he would lift up on and squeeze.
A few of the times he would grab my butt I’m sure I felt his finger tips touch my ass hole. (At the time I though it was just an accident, but now I’m sure he was doing it deliberately.)
Finely I guess I got real wet, enough for him to move in and out of me pretty easy and he started to move faster and pushed harder.
He would still pull all the way out from time to time and then push in all the way and hold it in me as deep as he could (I think to regain control).
As time went on I sort of got the feeling like he was ignoring me. I mean he was still touching me and stuff but he had stopped looking at me and stopped being gentle. He just kept getting faster and faster pushing harder into me with each thrust.
Then all at once he pushed real hard into me as deep as he could go, then stopped, pressing into me as hard as he could, and just held himself there.
He was holding his breath, then he sucked in a deep breath and that’s when I felt it, I could feel it as he came inside me. It was hot and sort of felt like I was being stuck with a needle a few times deep inside my pussy, I could also feel it twitching inside.
He collapsed on top of me, lying down with me under him, he was breathing so hard and I remember feeling the sweat from his chest against me.
He just laid there for the longest time, not really moving. I felt his penis inside me as it got softer and slowly started to slip out. When it finely did slide out all the way I felt a warm fluid run down my ass, and the tip of his penis resting against it.
I started to think he had passed out or fell a sleep after he came, but after a bit he rolled over off me and on to his side.
I remember looking up at him and he was just sort of staring at me with no real expression.
He finely said we should get cleaned up before my uncle and Jenny wake up, and told me to come with him.
I followed him into the bathroom where he started the shower and we got in together, the water was super hot and when I asked him to turn it down he said that I would get used to it. He soaped up a washcloth then handed me the bar of soap and then turned around so his back was to me. He asked me to wash his back; I did my best to wash his back with the bar of soap and my hands.
Then I just stood there and watched him as he scrubbed his arms chest and then his groin with the wash cloth. He took more time washing his groin then he did with all the rest together.
He finely turned around and said he would wash me now, he pulled me under the stream of hot water which was still real hot to me but I didn’t complain. He soaped up the wash cloth again and started to wash me starting at my neck then over my chest and then down between my legs.
He took his time there, the entire time I thought he was scrubbing a little rough, but then again I guess I was a little soar down there so even the softest touch probably would have felt rough.
Then he had me turn around. He knelt down and started at my feet, making me spread my legs a little as he move up each leg.
I remember him pushing the bar of soap between my butt cheeks and then sliding his hand there. He had me bend over a little bit resting my arms on the wall of the shower, and he slipped two soapy fingers into my pussy. He moved them in and out a bunch of times, and I just stood there letting him.
He finely stood up and I felt him move up behind me and then into me again. He pushed his penis all the way into me and just stood there, pressing his body against mine, holding himself deep inside me.
He started to wash my back then moving his hands from my shoulders down to my butt and back again.
It was sort of funny then, (it’s hard to explain but) I remember feeling him inside me and even though I was soar down there, having the water running down my back and feeling him inside me felt good.
He held my hips as he finely started to move his penis in and out of me. I remember sensation of the water running down my back, around my body, and feeling his fingers dig into my hips with his thumbs sort of spreading my butt wide.
After a short time I started to get that feeling again like I was about to pass out, I had a good idea of what it was this time and it didn’t scare me as much. But I still did my best to try and fight it, I was a little worried that if I had another orgasm standing like this in the shower I might collapse.
I think Justin knew I was close to an orgasm. His timing seemed to be perfect as he reach around and with soapy fingers started to play with my clit, and I couldn’t control it anymore. I lost it.
I remember my body tensing up, getting all stiff again and Justin pressing deep into me as he held me, keeping me from falling as my legs went limp under me. When I came out of it I remember feeling the hot water on my back and my legs feeling like Jell-O.
Justin just held me there for a couple of minutes with his penis deep inside me. He finely took a step back and looking down between my legs I saw his penis slip from me and down. He still looked hard but when I saw a little bit of thick white stuff drip from the tip of his penis I knew he cam inside me again.
He soaped up his penis again, and I watched as he moved back behind me again and slipped it into me again. He only pushed it in and out a few times before he pulled out again. I could tell he was done because he wasn’t very hard anymore.
He spent some time washing my back and between my legs again, soaping me up so much, you couldn’t see my skin through the foam and bubbles.
His fingers found there way inside me again a few times as he washed me and for a minute I thought he was going to push a finger into my butt, but as he started to press I think I might have clenched up and he stopped.
He finely had me turn around and after making sure my breast where just as clean, helped me rinse off all the soap.
He stepped out of the shower and I told him I wanted to wash my hair first. He just watched me as I took my time washing my hair. When I was done I turned off the water and stepped out. He was standing there with a big towel wrapped around his back and stepped toward me holding it out wide hugging me into his arms and with the towel around me.
He hugged me tight, I could feel his penis pressed against my belly and a cool breeze blow over my wet bare ass because the towel wasn’t big enough to totally cover both of us as he hugged me.
We stood there for a while just hugging and kissing, it was so romantic; he was so tender and warm. I just had sex a second time, I let Justin have my virginity and at that very moment I knew I loved him and he loved me.
That morning Jenny and I went for a walk in the woods to go pick raspberries, and as we walked she asked me how it was. At fist I tried to play dumb, but she told me her and my uncle heard us in the shower and knew what we were doing.
I sort got of nervous, and worried they would tell my parents. But I think she saw the fear in my eyes and she said not to worry, it was ok. She also said that no one else needed to know, and she would never share what she knew or what we talked about.
She was real cool and wanted to know all the details, how it happened and how I felt. I opened up to her completely, actually enjoying I had someone to talk to about it, someone that could understand how I felt.
After that day it was like I was in a different world, one that I didn’t have to hide, one that I could be myself and be free. I had a real boyfriend, and because my uncle and Jenny knew about it and were ok with it, we didn’t have to hide our relationship around them, and Justin didn’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.
I was worried about maybe getting pregnant, but Jenny said I should be ok because I had just had my period right before that happened, and I should be alright. (I haven’t been checked out or anything yet for it, but now I’m sort of thinking I won’t be able to get pregnant, at least with out medical help.)
Justin and I had sex several times a day the rest of the time he was there, and not just in the cabin. (On the dock, in the boat, out in the water, deep in the woods, on the couch under a blanket while Jenny and my uncle were in the same room watching TV) At night a few times all four of us even went skinny dipping together.
It was cool, none of us had to hide anything.
It didn’t last though both Justin and Jenny had to go, Jenny having spent all of her vacation time up and Justin having other things he had to take care of before going back to school. My uncle was retired so it was just him and I there most of the summer. Jenny would come up almost every weekend, but Justin only made it up there one more time, spending a long weekend.
After that I never really saw him again. I wrote him a few times and talked to him on the phone once or twice, but he went of to school and met someone else. And after that summer, my life went back to normal, going back home and having to be the good little girl my parents expected me to be. The only difference was that now I knew what it meant to be happy and free, so it only made it that much harder living under my parents rule.
I spent the next summer at the cabin again, but Justin never came out, which was sort of a heart break for me. I knew he had met someone else, but I thought he would want to see me at least one more time. My uncle and Jenny had broken up that year to, so it was sort of a lonely summer all in all. I still miss Justin and also miss being able to talk to Jenny about everything. But I guess that’s life and life just keeps going on…..