"I'm tired, I'm just gonna sneak out." I tell my friend, we'll call her Cal.
Cal nodded, we were both sleepy from the relaxing music and the alcohol.
I looked back to you, where sure enough, you were looking at me. I raised my hand in fair well, wiggling my fingers and smiling. To my surprise, you shout "NO!" above the din, shaking your head. I laugh, but nod, still waving. "Wait!" you demand, as everyone turns to look at me. Everyone, including your father, who I had never formally met but who I have enjoyed your shows with more than once. Great.
My face burns red as I grumble to myself.
"This is precisely why I'd never date him. What am I supposed to do, just stand here and play with myself while he's in the spotlight?"
Cal laughed, shaking her head. "Well, he's gonna be there awhile. And I have to pee." She said, taking my hand.
"Good idea, me too."
We turn to walk away, and again, your voice vibrates loudly over the noise. "Don't you dare leave!" you shout. I turn back on my heel to look at you. Your eyes burn into mine, causing an intense fluttering in my stomach. "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom. Chill!" I reply across the room, as everyone stares at me. I just adore it when you make everyone pay attention to me, I prefer to stay in the shadows.
Our pit stop takes a few minutes, and when we return, you're still mingling with a few spectators, but your guitar is in its case now and I can tell you're trying to get away. Your dad is gone, and it's just a few guys from a group of another performer from that night. Our gazes meet again, and it's as if some silent man language passes between you and your new friends. "Well, we'll let you go, man. Awesome show." One of them says, shaking your hand again. Your eyes gleam in a wicked smile. "Thank you." You say, and I can tell in your voice you're thanking him for more than the compliment.
Finally, you get to us and hold out your arm. I place mine in yours, the old fashioned way. Cal just giggles and skips ahead, taking the lead.
We hit the chill September air as we exit the building, singing "The Circle of Life" as loudly as we can. We had just been talking about the best Disney movie of all time, before your show, and now the song was on the house radio. We stand in the doorway a second, letting out all their heat, as the song ends and we all three laugh joyously.
The parking lot is dimly lit, and our cars are two parking spaces apart. You stow away your guitar quickly, and then return to where Cal and I are standing by my car, looking up the way home on her phones GPS. I feel your arms slink around my waist, as you pull my back against your front. My breath leaves my body in a whoosh, and I go weak. As always. Cal smiles evilly, her eyes twinkling. You lower your head to my shoulder so as to gaze down at her phone too. Your words tickle my neck as you speak. "You will be fine, it's not hard to get home from here." Your voice is husky, quiet, and adorable.
"You're so warm." You purr, snuggling into me. I close my eyes, my body reacting to you the way it always does. I fight for control. My hands reach for yours, and both pairs go into my front hoodie pocket. "This is the best idea I had all night." You continue, getting as close as possible to me.
Cal clears her throat, the silent warning breaking into my reverie. Our eyes meet and I read her mind. Again, I steel myself for control. I had told her to not let me do anything stupid, just like the last time. Last time, she had gleefully let me walk freely into trouble. I had made her promise to do whatever it takes to stop me this time.
A few silent seconds pass, then I try to pull away from you, "I should go..." I say, as your arms tighten.
"Don't..." You tighten your hold, tightly clasping our hands together in my pocket. I fight against you, and my hands come free, but all I can do is spin around in yours arms to face you. I fight the problem I always have with you, clamming up and not being able to say what's on my mind. I stare straight into the blue depths of your eyes, and I can feel my knees weaken, they don't want to hold me up. My body just wants to fall into yours.
"Please..." I whisper, my lips just an inch from yours.
"Please what?" You ask. When you look at me that way, I can almost say that I know you love me.
I close my eyes. "Please don't put me in this position. I..." I pause, grasping at courage. I push myself against your body, and your hands tighten against my back. "I wanted you. I threw myself at you." I whisper. My voice shakes, defying me.
You swallow hard, past a lump in your throat. You glance back where Cal is artfully appearing to be immersed in something on her phone. "Can I borrow her, again?" You ask her. It's the same words you used last time.
Cal looks up. "No." she says, staring daggers at you. I smile to myself. She is very intimidating.
"No?" You ask, your voice raising in pitch.
"Nope." She repeats. I turn slightly towards her, silently thanking her. You tighten your hold on me again, pulling me close, and I can feel your hard on pressing against my pelvis. A delicious chill runs through me at the feeling.
You start to walk backwards, pulling me with you. I say your name with a warning, a plea, to please not do this to me again. You falter slightly, but keep pulling me. Then I feel my hair tugged, and Cal has got me by a large portion of my mane, her hands pulling just as hard as his were. He stops, but she keeps a hold.
"Remember what we talked about?" She said, her voice strong and sure.
"Yes..." I say.
"What did you talk about?" You ask curiously, your voice sounding worried.
"She asked me to assure she does nothing stupid." She states boldly.
"In other words, you're calling me stupid. Because she wants me. She wants me just as badly as I want her, but by doing what her body wants, she'd be doing something stupid, in other words me..." I shiver against you at your words. Am I that obvious?
"Perhaps." She agrees. I can only laugh.
"Can I please just talk to her, alone, for a minute?" You beg her.
"Do I have any say in this?" I ask.
"No." they both say.
Again, all I can do is laugh. Your hands are rubbing down my back, to my ass. Cupping me lightly.
I see Cal's eyes watching the movement of your hands, and I think she's getting turned on, too.
"5 minutes. Where I can see you. I will intervene if I must." she declares, her eyes demanding no questions.
You continue to hold me, walking backwards until your back rests against the side of your car. One parking spot away from her. You don't let me go. She can probably still hear us.
"What's wrong?" You ask, your hands reaching up to pull my hair from my face. I shudder at the intimate contact.
"Why do you want me when I am here, like now. But when I want you, when I want you so bad that I ache for it..." I push against you involuntarily, the pull too much for my body to resist. "... You seem to want nothing to do with me."
You growl viciously, and you finally kiss me. It's quick and rough, you bite my bottom lip as you pull back. Your breathing is labored suddenly, and you can't seem to find words.
"If this is a question of whether or not I want you, I'm not making myself very clear." You finally say.
"Oh, it's clear enough right now. But with you, it's out of sight, out of mind... it wreaks havoc on my self esteem."
Your eyes soften, and you pull me closer, tucking my head against your shoulder, holding me there.
"When you're here, I can think of nothing but getting my hands on you, kissing you, touching you. When you're a hundred miles away, I feel bad for wanting you. I can't just take off on a whim, and I hate asking that you drive all that way because your life is no less demanding than mine right now. It's not right."
"But I do it, If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't. I drove an hour and a half tonight, to see you play. It's not even that far to your apartment."
You close your eyes, and I can tell you're pained. "I hate knowing you drive that far for my shows, too."
"Don't you dare say that. I've done it for years and it's not going to change if I have any control over it."
I gently touch your cheek, willing all my feelings to show through my eyes. I stare at you for a long moment before I kiss you. I gently roll my tongue across yours, deliberately slowing the kiss down so you can savor every second of it. When I pull away, you have a dumb look on your face, your mouth is lax. I feel the environment shift and change. It's a new feeling, a new alignment in the atmosphere.
"You are so beautiful.." you say, tracing my lips with a finger.
I swallow hard. "Thank you."
"I mean it, Amber. Tonight... I don't know, you just look insanely pretty."
Your eyes rove my face, drinking it in, and I love the feeling.
"God, I don't know. You look great. You... I can't... I don't even know how to say it."
"You can show me... You can show me when you call me... and we get together, alone."
My intent is clear, I am drawing the proverbial line.
"Your five minutes were up five minutes ago, lovebirds." Cal shouts, tapping her foot.
You don't let me go, but let me face away from you again, our bodies molded together as we walk back towards her. To my surprise, you don't stop nearby her, you press me up against her.
"Do you feel her heart, Cal?" You ask.
She reaches out and touches her hand to my chest.
"I feel her boobs."
We all laugh.
"I can push her closer if you want." You say, pressing me forwards without waiting for permission.
"I would bury my head in her chest if she'd let me, wise guy."
"She'd do anything I want right now."
"Oh, aren't you just so certain of yourself." Cal quips.
"Can I have sex with her?" You ask her.
"No." She says.
"Can I have sex with her... tomorrow? Please?" Your voice is soft and pleading, as I just listen to this exchange silently.
Cal taps her foot, thinking it over.
"It's not up to me, but I am going to advise her against it."
"Why?" You ask, tightening your hold on me possessively.
"Because that's what friends are for."
"Is it because she has a boyfriend?" You ask, and I feel a brick hit me full force.
"No. I don't like him and he's a pathetic excuse for a boyfriend if you ask me, but you should probably ask her about it sometime. And furthermore, you COULD be very good for her if you just showed her a little respect sometimes."
"But... God damn it, i'm trying to be good. I want her now. I want her so bad I can't think of anything else. I don't want to take her in my car like a savage, but I bet she's thinking the exact same thing. She wants me. I want her."
"You're not having sex with her now, so both of you can stop thinking of it." Cal states, crossing her arms.
Images flash through my mind, and I actually groan quietly.
"Amber, will you give us a moment?" Cal asks, surprising me.
"Um... sure..." Even more surprising, you let me go.
I walk a few feet away, and all I can hear is Cal say "Why does it have to be on your terms? Why can it never be on hers?" and I cringe, purposely drowning their voices out, hoping and praying she doesn't start an argument.
I walk far enough so I can't hear the lowered voices of my two best friends. What a great turn of events. I can see you talking with your hands alot, and Cal just listening intently. She doesn't say much, but... I see her eyes soften. Oh no, you've got her in your spell now too. I groan.
"Don't take too long." I hear Cal say as you walk away from her. What?
"Come on..." You take my arm, and pull me towards my car door. How did you get my car keys? What the fuck is going on here.
You get in the passenger seat, pulling me with you. "No funny business." Cal states, going back to her cell phone.
"I'm not getting in the car with you..." I say, but only one of my legs is still outside of the car. You push the seat back, and I fall against you. "Get your leg in." You demand.
"No..." I say, trying to figure out how this had happened so quickly.
You kiss me, hot and hard and eager. Subconsciously, I pull my leg in, and Cal shuts the door. "What is going on?" I say against your lips.
"Shhh..." Your hands slink under my hoodie, under the shirt underneath, and to my warm flesh. You moan as your hands come into contact with my skin.
"So soft..." you coo, pulling me closer to your body. We are shoved in the front seat of the car, but being so close to you couldn't have felt better.
You keep kissing me, and with every kiss I get weaker and weaker.
"Oh damn, I'm supposed to be talking. Only talking." You say, kissing me again.
"So talk." I say, but you cut me off with another kiss.
"I'm trying. I can't." I pull away, sliding off of you a bit to rest my knees against the floor of the car. I fold my hands demurely across your lap and rest my face on them, looking up at you.
"There, now talk."
Your hard cock is just calling my name, right beside my hands.
You appear to be in physical pain, by the look on your face. "With your beautiful eyes looking up at me like that, I'm supposed to talk?"
I smile, putting my best "fuck me" face on.
"Oh, dear lord...." you reach down to run your fingers through my hair.
"I wouldn't be so aggressive right now... but there's something about tonight. You've always been pretty, but tonight you're taking the breath right out of me. Taking all rational thoughts right from my mind. You're making me crazy."
"That's kinda weird, babe." I say, wrinkling my nose. "I am probably as underdressed as you've ever seen me." I motioned down to my jeans and hooded sweater.
"I've seen you more UNderDRESSED than this." You wink.
"You mean, undressed?" I slide back up your body, kissing you lightly before looking you right in your eyes.
"I want to fuck you. I want you so badly, my body is aching all over. But not tonight." I say boldly.
You curse as your body twitches, almost as if I had flicked my tongue against the head of your penis. The same involuntary twitch that I know so well. But I hadn't even touched you.
"I could totally blow right now just hearing you talk dirty to me." You admit, rubbing your fingers lightly down the small portion of my backside where your shirt had risen up a little.
I can see Cal's arm through the back side window. She is still on her phone.
"I want you right now. Please." You groan, pulling me up so I'm straddling you. You try to unbutton my pants, but I stop you.
"Not here." I remain adamant. But the look of pure physical need and pain on your face has me faltering.
"I can't wait..." you say, rubbing yourself against me. Your hard on rubs right across my clit through our clothes and I feel exactly what you're feeling. But if I want to get my point across, I have to stick to my guns.
I feel you reach down and unzip your pants, and our eyes meet. You smile through the haze of need, "I literally have to..." you say, kissing me again. I reach down to find your penis falling eagerly into my hand. I moan, wishing I was alone with you, able to impale myself on your length and milk you for all you're worth.
"I am going to get you off. We're going to make this quick, and then... we're going to discuss a time when we can be together. I need an entire night to get my fill of you." I say, stroking you softly. Your body twitches with every movement of my hand, and I'm sure the car is moving. The same car Cal is leaning against just a few feet away. If she looks down, she'll see me pressed against you, cradling your throbbing cock in my hand.
"I am going to go home, so horny, I am going to fall into bed and diddle myself fiercely." I tell you, sliding back down enough so I can take you into my mouth. You taste so sweet.
I look back up at you and you say, "You don't have to diddle, we could just take care of it right now."
"A quickie is not enough, baby." I answer with a mouthful of cock.
I worship your cock, taking it down to the very back of my throat, reveling in the sounds of your gasping and moaning. You are in pure bliss, everything coming out of your mouth is saturated in explicitness. I am in heaven too. Pleasuring you is the next best thing to taking our pleasure together.
"I love the taste of you, the feel of you in my throat... I want to feel you inside of me. I can't wait to show you just how much I want you."
You groan my name, and I lose all control. I don't care how much the car shakes with my friend right there, I take you down deep in my throat, and your hips buck, fucking the back of my throat. Your hands take a hold of my head and you push me down roughly. When you let me up, I demand "Again."
You waste no time, your hand pushing me down until you are pushing my face into your pelvis, your cock engulfed in my throat.
"Holy fuck..." you shout, I taste a lot of precum.
"You taste so good, give me more." I mumble in between sucks. I start to stroke you while I suck your head. I suck it harder than I ever have with you, knowing how sensitive you are, I normally stay away from it. But at this stage of arousal, you bust into my mouth harshly, your moan so loud and long i'm sure Cal heard it all. Not to mention the shaking of the car.
"fuck... fuck... fuck." you say, releasing your hand from my hair. You finger my chin, so you can gaze down at me. I lick my lips, and your eyes go completely cloudy again. I lick you lightly around the tip, cleaning up all of it. I tuck you back into your boxers and zip you up. There's a little cum on your pants.
"You have cum on your pants." I say sheepishly.
"Baby, you have cum in your hair." you say.
"Yes, you do." You giggle.
"No, where!?" Cum in the hair is the worst.
You reach out and pull a tendril of my hair from beside my face.
"Ugh. I get to take some of you home with me, because that's not going to be coming out anytime soon..." i say, reaching for a napkin.
"Mmm, you're so hot." You tell me, pulling me up to settle me right on your lap as I wipe my hair, and then your pants (tenderly) with the napkins.
"Thank you..." I go to kiss you, but I hesitate. I've kissed you before after you cum in my mouth, but you didn't seem too thrilled with it.
Surprisingly, you close the distance, kissing me tenderly.
"Such a sex kitten." You purr, touching my breasts through my shirt. "You're probably sopping wet. A horny little sex kitten." I shiver at your words, my eyes growing heavy.
"I could just reach down..." you finger at the hem of my jeans. "And soak my fingers in your delicious juices." Your hand starts to slide into my pants.
I stop you, grabbing your wrist.
"No. You aren't touching me until we're in your bed."
You groan. "Why? I can't leave you like this."
"Yes, you can. And you will. I have to go. Cal's waiting."
"I meant what I said about you. You took my breath away from me tonight."
I shudder, and you kiss me one last time.
"Is that what we were supposed to talk about?" I ask feebly.
"I can't remember my thoughts from one second to the next when you're near... But you need to know, there is no question that I do want you. Don't ever doubt that for a second. I am not indifferent to you. Actually, you have an open invitation. I would give you a key if I thought you wanted one. It's just the distance...."
I eye him curiously.
"You drive me nuts." I smile as I open the door and tumble out.
Cal looks up at my dishelved hair. "Oh my..." she says, laughing.
"Nothing happened." I lie, watching you come out of the car behind me.
"We just talked." you say, puffing out your chest.
"You look like a kid who got caught in the cookie jar." Cal says, laughing at us uncontrollably.
You glance at me, and I look away. I am undone by you. "You could say that." You agree.
"Amber..." I look back at you again, you're holding out your arms. I hug you lightly, but you pull me close, kissing the top of my head.
"Call me...I swear to God, you better call me." I whisper, pulling away. I don't look back as I walk around to get in the drivers seat of my car. I can see you still standing there where I left you as I start my car. Then you turn and slowly walk to your own.
My orbit has shifted, yet again.
(Later, Cal told me what was discussed between them. He told her that he cared about me, but the distance messes with his head. He doesn't want me to get hurt when it's so obvious to me, as I've even told him before, that we can't be together. It's too impractical. But it doesn't stop him from wanting me, all the time. He asked her blessing, as the one who is supposed to stop me from doing stupid shit, to allow us to find our own way. She granted it, the traitor!)
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