Lost, walking alone in a fog. Unsure of what is or isnt true anymore. Doubting everything I have been told. Questioning everyone I know. Always looking for what is, or isnt real. Wanting against all odds to believe that you will always be there when I need you most. Pushing you away, at the same time as pulling you near. Im confusing you, but I just cant stop doing it. I know that the things I have told you recently has you questioning all the years. I know you thought I was some spoiled little princess, but now you know some of the truth behind the real me. Im not really sure how you have taken all of that in. How you processed all the information that you have been given. I see it in your eyes at times the doubt you are begining to have. I know you never thought that I did the things that I did. I never lied to you about my past, but I never fully informed you either. I guess that was wrong in the long run. I understand your position on all these truths. Be glad I havent told you all. I will over time, but I have to wait till your ready. I know your not ready to hear more at the moment. I have ruined the image you had of me already, but not really a bad thing. You have discovered I have a dark side, your not alone in that. We have gotten closer which seemed impossible at the time. You thought you were going to surprise me when you told me your hidden past. I could tell by the look in your eyes you were shocked when I only laughed. I almost spilled it all right there, and yes you have guessed some. I will never admit to somethings. I have a right to want to keep some of my shame to my self. Even though I trust you with it all, Im not ready to share the shame I feel for some of the deeds I have done. I dont keep anything from you since we have been together. I just some things are best left buried in the past where they belong. Its not like I am around anyone from that time. I moved on with you, and havent looked back in a while. I do think about it at times wondering if we would have met if it had been different. I doubt I would have been in the same town as you if it had been. So I guess I wouldnt have changed anything. I hope you understand this. I know I am so confusing at times. Its complicated, and one day I will be able to throw it all away. Until then I hope you never lose sight of how happy you have always made me.