If you wish to find a woman that you can worship, adore, love, sacrifice to, serve with honor and passion, belong too, offer your allegiance, give her your power in order to nourish her dominant spirit, and exist for the pleasure of said woman with your own sacrifice for her pleasure bringing you joy in abundance, THEN you are a submissive.
If you want to get together on the weekends, get spanked, lick her boots, and maybe have a piss cocktail before a romp in the sack, then you are a kinkster.
If you want to be with a woman who will enjoy giving you whippings, CBT, and other BDSM delights, then go home and jerk-off to the memories until you need another painful humiliating date, then you are a bottom.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG OR DIMINISHED BY BEING A KINKSTER OR A BOTTOM.
But when a "Domme" says she is seeking a "submissive." She is seeking the first paragraph.
If all you really want is kink, or a weekend of play now and then, but you really do not seek to be an instrument of pleasure and a helpmate to a dominant woman in ALL facets of her life... NOT just the dungeon... Then writing to a Domme and offering her your soul simply because she is a dominant woman and you hope to get your kink on, is just about as useless as pissing up a rope.
She IS going to find out that you are not a sub jiffy damned quick. Most likely that fact will be revealed in your intial letter in ways you cannot even comprehend for the simple reason that you are not a submissive. You don't write as a sub would. You don't speak as a sub would. And you sure as hell aren't going to act as a sub would. Not because of any fault of yours. You are just not understanding the reality of what you think you seek.
If you are a kinkster, seek out a kinkster woman. They aren't hard to find.
Likewise if you are a bottom or a masochist, seek out a top or a sadist.
The two of you will have a wonderful time together. But if you aren't a submissive, for God's sake quit getting on DS and personals sites and offering Dommes something that you could not do on your best day.
It is just simple terminology gentlemen. If you aren't a sub, then a Domme is going to make you crazy and you will soon be dumped like yesterdays news even if you slip in under the radar and get her attention in the first place.
Just know what you are really after and go for the right kind of woman for you.
contributed and given permission to share by my friend closetsitter
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