My experiences being what they are have shaped who I am though many I wish I could say I hadn't experienced. This path that I have taken has gone further than I had imagined when I started it. In many ways it has made me a better person others it has put my life in disarray. The constant distance has made certain aspects more difficult than I would care for.
Each deployment I sat there every day wondering if I'd ever get to see her. Each passing moment I ask a similar question will I get to see her again; will I ever get to hold her in my arms as we fall asleep at night only to wake up in each others arms each morning. In these past months I feel like I've been torn apart time and time again. This one has taken me a few days to write in the middle of writing this I felt I needed to stop since if I had kept going it probably would have gotten a bit too personal. I recently got some advice that was probably the most motivating words I have heard in quite some time.
Me- I think I messed it up.
Then fix it.
Me- She practically won't talk to me anymore and when we do it's barely enough to be considered a conversation most times.
Do what it takes maybe she'll listen. There's always a way. If you think, there's even a chance that she could be it. You fix it.
The past several months have been one hell of a roller coaster. I don't expect the next ones to be any easier with perseverance and maybe a little luck I'll manage to work things out.