My boyfriend and i have been having sex but i can't seem to get to an orgasm. I mean it feels good and we've tried different positions. I don't know what else we can do.
There are many reasons that might explain why you're not cumming. Perhaps he's not doing it hard enough, or perhaps the motion isn't right. perhaps it's not fast enough. Perhaps there's not enough foreplay, or stimulation prior to penetration. Perhaps you're not wet enough; i.e. you're not turned on. Or maybe you're really nervous and not relaxed.
One position in which a girl can usually control her own orgasms is "woman on top". The position which usually allows a man to make a woman cum the best with his cock is "doggy style".
In order to tell you how you can get an orgasm, I'll need to know what feels good, and exactly how he's doing what he's doing. Some men just have problems giving it to girls good enough to make him cum. Try getting him really turned on, talking and acting sexy, being really dirty and nasty, and sucking his cock. Make him eat your pussy, touch you and finger you. Then when you're doing it, tell him to do it harder, make him pound you. Maybe that will work.
There are two things, however, that will GUARANTEE you orgasm if he does them right. Below I will give you some advice that you should print out and give to him. It teaches a man how to make a woman cum (a) from licking her and (b) from fingering her. The fingering (squirting) orgasm I describe will be the greatest physical feeling of your life. I can't tell you how to cum during sex, because to be honest that's mostly up to the man: how he gives it to you.
So here is the oral advice for him, make sure he sees it and follows it, and before you know it, you'll be cumming like crazy.
FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND: ORAL SEX (CUNNILINGUS):
In order to make a girl go crazy using your mouth, this is what I recommend:
Remember every girl is different, so you may wish to vary the style, speed, and force with which you perform oral upon her. These are just some general pointers that work for *most* women, not all. And remember, it's all about the WAY you do what you do. Be sexy about it. Be into it, be passionate, and above all, be receptive to her body language and what she asks you to do and responds to.
Start by breathing over her pussy, and her thighs. Kiss her inner thighs softly at first, maybe lick on them and suck on them in different places. Run your tongue along them towards her pussy, but don't touch it. Kiss above her pussy (especially if she's shaved) and lick and tease the area above her clitoris. Make sure your mouth and tongue are really wet.
When you've teased her to the point where she's squirming and moaning a little, or telling you to start licking the pussy itself, then it's time to move your head right between her legs, and position your lips and tongue directly over her clitoris (if she hasn't already pushed your head down there). At first lick the clitoris softly (make sure your mouth is wet) and slowly, not much force, just teasingly, delicately. Kiss it. Kiss it passionately, the way you kiss her mouth. Caress it with your lips and tongue. Don't forget to interject kissing and licking her inner thighs and licking her labia as a variation. Lick her hole, too. Slip your tongue into her hole. If she likes that, slide your tongue in and out of her hole, like it's a cock. Do that forcefully, but don't hurt her. Lick her ass, if you can get to it. For that, licking from behind is the best, when she's on all fours. Lick around her ass, around the rim, and then slide your tongue inside (if you dare!). Don't do
it too hard, and make sure you don't force it in. Just teasingly, gently, letting her know you love her body and want to pleasure her in every way. One thing girls usually love is when you lick from the bottom of their asshole right up to the top of their clit in one long, luscious lick. You can do that a few times.
If she reacts to a certain thing, repeat it. Now for the serious stuff: When she starts to enjoy it, begin a rhythm of licking her. Lick her whichever way she likes the best (ASK HER!) or whichever makes her moan the loudest. And REPEAT it. Over and over, in a rhythmic motion. Make your neck work, put your whole head movement into it. It should be a sweeping, repeating, constant motion, with your tongue and lips either caressing or encircling, swirling and stimulating her clit over and over until she starts to shudder.
As she enjoys it more, you can get a little harder. Some girls like it very hard (lots of pressure), and very fast (super fast), but most girls like it softer and more delicately. Kiss it as if its delicate. Lick it as if its delicate, don't press your face in too hard once you're in the rhythmic motion. You should try and tease her clitty to orgasm, not force it to orgasm.
Some girls, when they're coming, like a variation. When she starts coming, and starts to throb, DON'T STOP - but some girls like you to make it harder (or softer) at the point of orgasm), or to suck or nibble on it a little bit. Very few girls like you to just leave it alone. Most of them, though, like for you to JUSTKEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING until they're done coming. Then, once they've collapsed and are exhausted, either carry on going, starting from scratch (to make them come again), or slide up and kiss them on the lips, letting them taste their love juices from your mouth. Then it's time to either receive oral, make love, or curl up and go to sleep.
I hope this works and I hope she loves it. For more methodological detail, just ask about which part, specifically, you need help with.
FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND: FINGERING A GIRL TO A SQUIRTING ORGASM
There are many ways to use your fingers to make a girl go crazy, and some of the best are to be found by simple exploration - try different things, different numbers of fingers, different parts of her pussy and ass, and be innovative and inventive. Some of the best fingering comes in conjunction with oral... but there is one, shining act which transcends all sexuality, and gives a woman - any woman - the best orgasm of her LIFE. If I am sharing this advice with you it's because I think you're a nice guy or girl. This is not the kind of knowledge which should be bestowed upon predators or misogynists. You should only know this and use this if you LOVE women.
Start by performing a little oral on her inner thighs, labia and clitty especially, to get her nice and wet. The rest of this (except for, perhaps, the very end) can be enhanced by continually sucking and licking the clitoris throughout the duration of the act - oral definitely increases the power and pleasure or the female ejaculating orgasm.
Now, take the hand that you write with, and take the two fingers closest to your thumb (your pointer/index finger and your middle finger) and make them wet with your mouth, with hers, or with her pussy juice (she should be glistening wet for this to work properly). MAKE SURE YOUR NAILS ARE TRIMMED AND NOT SHARP.
Slide those two fingers in, with the fingerprint part of the fingers facing up (nails down), slide them in firmly but slowly, as far as they will go without using too much pressure. If she is really tight you make need to start with one, and if there is a lot of wetness but resistance, you may need to tease and taste her pussy some more. Once you get those fingers in, tease her inner walls slowly with the pads of your fingers, and get her even more juicy. When you think that she is ready to have the orgasm of her life, you may begin:
Now you will maneuver your fingers to find her g-spot. Yes, it exists, and yes, every woman has one. Slide your fingers in about 2 inches, UP, and then BACK towards the front of the pussy (like you're going up behind her clitty). Her g-spot is actually a patch of her inner walls which is on the FRONT INNER WALL of her pussy, above the hole itself. So, in, up, and back towards the entrance. You should feel, on that wall, a very rough patch of skin – rougher than the rest of her smooth inner pussy. You've found it. Congratulations.
By making a beckoning motion with your two fingers (a come hither, bending fingers motion), you should be able to pull the fingerprint/pad part of the tips of your two fingers against that spot. Try it. Pull back against it with your two fingers and press a little. Tease it, stimulate it with your fingers. Make her feel good. She should be squirming and breathing very heavily by now.
As you start to rhythmically tap/press/pull your fingertips against the g-spot, she should start getting wetter. If you're doing it right, and she's comfortable with it, you'll start to hear squelching, sponge-like sounds. The g-spot is like a sponge, it contains a lot of liquid, and feels rough. Keep pressing your fingers against it, over and over, rhythmically, with the same kind of rhythm as if you were sliding your cock in and out of her pussy.
As she starts to get wetter, and enjoy it more, start doing it harder. The more she thrashes from side to side, the harder you do it. Eventually, you can replace the tapping/poking of the g-spot with an outright speed-sliding of those two fingers in and out of her hole. Do it faster and faster, maintain the rhythm, but increase the force. Even when you're slamming them straight in and out of her hole, try and maintain an upward, outward force with the fingertips, so you're still pressing up against that g-spot even as you're slamming her with your fingers with reckless abandon.
Through all of this, she should be squelching, squirming and OBVIOUSLY loving it. If she's not, you should stop. If she says it hurts (especially if she says it more than once, you might want to stop or at LEAST slow down or not do it so hard. Make sure she's always wet – not dry for any period of time.
Now here's the crucial part. When she gets close to ejaculation, she will say that she needs to pee. SHE DOES NOT NEED TO PEE. It's just a temporary sensation that will pass, but you have to make sure she knows about it beforehand, and you have to make sure she does not stop you, and you do not desist in your slamming. Hold her legs apart with the other hand, if you have to. You can even use your head or knees or whatever to hold her legs open, but make sure she stays relatively still (or she might get hurt on your fingers) and that you KEEP GOING. In fact, when she needs to pee, that's when you should start doing it harder, cause orgasm is around the corner.
10-50 seconds after the pee sensation begins, she will start to cum. When she does, DON'T STOP. Just do it harder and harder and harder, pressuring the g-spot upwards all the while. Now she should start to ejaculate. She'll scream, and her pussy will start shooting clear (transparent), odorless liquid all over the place. There could be a lot of it, it might soak you completely and soak the sheets and everything around her, so make sure you're prepared.
I guarantee you, if she's never had one before, the squirting orgasm will be the best orgasm of her life. In my experience, 97% of women are capable of having them, and in certain circumstances, I think it's more like 99.9%. If you want her to ejaculate in great volumes, have her drink lots of water before you do it, and stay well hydrated. Once she's finished squirting, SHE CAN SQUIRT AGAIN. Especially if you didn't do it too hard, and still got her to cum, you can usually start all over, and between one and ten minutes later, she'll be squirting again. Usually, you have to do it harder each time. My record is seven. The girl that squirted seven times in 45 minutes passed out for 6 hours afterwards (it's physically exhausting and dehydrating) so be careful if you try more than 2 at once.
Most girls pass out after a couple of them. This can make a girl fall in love and at the very least want to fuck your brains out, so use it wisely rather than to your advantage. Don't take advantage of people using this. If you do it wrong, or if she's on her period, she might bleed. That's usually okay, but just make sure you don't hurt her, and you stop if she's screaming with pain, rather than pleasure. You should always have a safe word with your partner, and you should always make sure she knows what you intend to do and that she's fine with it. Enjoy this, and I hope it works out for you; I hope it works out for HER, even more so. If it does… well, just wait and see. I'm jealous of women because of g-spot orgasms! There's NO male equivalent – it's just absolute ecstasy, nothing less. Remember there are at least fifty ways to make a woman cum (actually lots more) and at least five different types of orgasms so don't limit yourselves to this whether it works or not.