As guys we are programed to believe that we are in control during sex, but it aint necessarily so, especially with oral sex on a woman. It is important to keep in mind that it is she who is in control even though you are the protagonist here. You are not making her cum, you are helping her cum. Be cognizant of that from the get go and she will be richly rewarded by one of natures most amazing experiences … an intense and deep female orgasm; and you will have the incredible satisfaction of helping a woman that you care about experience it.
She needs to be relaxed and comfortable to make the connection with you and more importantly her own body. Women are wired to multitask. Yes guys, they are multitasking while they are laying naked and open legged before you as you are asking them to be erotic and succumb to your well intentioned oral ministrations to their vaginas. It is going to be really hard for her to cum if she is worried about any one of the dozen things on her mind if not all of them. Therefore, it is your job to make her forget about all of them and focus on the erotic sensations that will be welling up and congesting in her pussy causing it to eventually contract and twist in sweet orgasm and spill her honey in your mouth.
The beginning of her orgasmic climb begins with you helping her to relax and push all those things out of her head. Before your lips get within 3 feet of her pussy, get inside her head and figure out what is going on. Then use whatever tools you have to displace those things and replace them with sexy feelings. Make her the center of the universe at that moment with whatever you can have at your avail. Wine, massage, reassurance, suggestive commentary, dirty talk …each woman is different. Your job is to maneuver the wonderful complexity of her erotic psyche with your sensitive attentivenss.
Make love to her whole body before you get close to kissing her nether lips and massaging them with your tongue. Arousal starts in her mind not in her pussy.
You need to apply your sensitivity, your perceptive skills and a little basic knowledge and you can be the hero of the night. Read her mind and her body. Do subtle things to help arouse and relax her and watch her emotional reactions and sexual response. In this dance she is leading and you are following.
Her physical responses will tell you scads more than her verbal cues ever will. Shudders, sighs, thrusting her groin towards you is good obviously; laying there passively is either a signal that she is shy and is too embarrassed to show you what you are making her feel or that what you are doing isn’t doing much for her. Many women will be too shy to tell you what they want you to do. This leaves you toi figure it out for yourself. So look beyond voluntary physical response; try to observe subtle changes in her body and genital appearance and go with the flow.
A few hints on what to look for to read her arousal as it is growing: her vulva will get swollen and puffy, her outer lips will swell up and get puffy, her vagina will get red and open revealing its mouth to you, she will ooze juice, her vaginal scent will become muskier deeper and headier, her chest above her cleavage to her neck will get red and blotchy, her toes may splay and wiggle, her legs may quiver, her breathing may get shallow and choppy. All those are good signs that her arousal is ramping up.
Some things that you can do to have her help you. Get her to run her hands thru your hair as you are loving her body with your mouth; as she gets more and more aroused she won’t be able to concentrate on rubbing your hair …she will just hold your head and direct you to where it feels best. If your mouth is in her groove and she starts to hump your face, then go with it but try to keep track of what you are doing as best you can. Chances are if she starts that she is feeling so good she is going cum regardless of what you do. Some girls will vocalize, listen to what she is saying in her noises.
Tips on her pearl. As you know I am sure …her clit is way too sensitive to go after right off the bat. Tease her as much as possible. Make out with her pussy lips like they are the lips on her mouth. The mouth of her vagina is very sensitive, make love to it with your tongue and lip. Your tongue is extremely prehensile. Use it to stimulate all parts of her vaginal landscape; kiss her and show her how much you are into her.
Most women are sensitive to how they look, smell and taste. If they are too nervous it will interfere with her feeling good. You need to put her at ease as you approach her pussy with your mouth and nose. The best way to get her to rest at ease and not worry about that is to show her that you are really enjoying it. The more aroused she gets the less it will matter to her.
After she is aroused her clit will emerge from its hood. Don’t rush to the challenge and go after it immediately. Her pearl is the gem that you claim after you have explored and stimulated the sweet and tender sensitive spots in and around her opening. You want to tease her until she desperately needs you to stimulate her hardened bud; you want her to need your stimulation. Too often women are forced to try to cope with clitoral stimulation.
Keep in mind that her glans (what we know as her clit) is only a small part of her entire clitoris. The entire structure is a wishbone shaped structure that extends all around the mouth of her vagina. Using the wishbone analogy her glans is the flattened part of the wishbone where the two sides come together. Her entire clitois is erectile tissue that hardens and erects as she gets aroused, just like a penis. The hotter she gets the more sensitive her opening will get.
The two legs that extend down either side of the mouth of her vagina are a half inch inside the opening of her vagina just under the skin. The legs are sensitive but they are less sensitive than the glans. They are erectile tissue as previous mentioned, just like her glans. Because the legs of her clit are less sensitive then her glans they are fair game in the early arousal process. They can be massaged firmly to get her aroused. The best way to massage them is with the flat of your thumbs at 2 and 4 o’clock just inside her hole. Use plenty of lubricant, either hers, yours or articial.
Massage the inside of her opening and kiss and lick her lips and hole as you are massaging the legs of her clit. Don’t be surprised if massaging her opening makes her glans get more erect and stick out of its hood some more. You are massaging her clit and it is responding just as it should. Again don’t jump on it yet. On either side of her glans, again at 2 and 4 o ‘clock on her hood use your tongue to massage her clit through the hood. Use the tip of you tongue to push the glans around using the hood as a shield from over stimulating it. She will probably gasp, groan, twist and thrust towards you at this point ….she is telling you that she ready for direct attention. Her clit will probably be fully erect now. Advance to direct stimulation of her glans.
Envision this wonderful little organ as being the center of her sexual sensation now; it is just that. There is an amazing sexual powerhouse wound up in that little pink hardened flesh. It is like an atomic reaction waiting to be set off. You need to have impeccable timing and good skill to set off the explosion.
Be observant when you tongue it lightly. Do underneath the glans first and see how she likes it. Go in a circle around it and see how she responds. If all of this is getting positive feedback, continue doing it until she shows you that she is on the edge and about to fall into the chasm. When she is squirming with desperation, wrap your lips around her clit and suckle it like it was a little penis. Hold it with your lips, sucking it in gently; rub your tongue underneath it, massaging the underside with the flat of your tongue. Go in circles around it with your tongue. Suck the whole structure into your mouth a little more firmly holding the underside with your tongue and ever so gently tug on it like it was a soda straw and you were trying to get a thick malted milk to come up it. If she responds positively suck the whole structure of her clit into your mouth, holding it and shielding it with your tongue. If she pulls away, you pull away and retreat and resort to less direct and intense stimulation. It may be too intense and you need to continue stimulation but less directly.
Many girls can’t come unless they are being penetrated. Here are two areas that you can use to help things along. I am sure that you know about her G spot, just inside her pussy on the roof of her vagina; it’s a spongy walnut sized rough spot. Also equally sensitive to her G spot is the floor of her vagina 180 degrees below her G spot. That can also be massaged. Use fingers in both cases to massage both areas as you love her clit.
Depending on the lady … nipples are sometimes direct wires to her clit. Suckle her nipples and see what happens. Tweaking them between two fingers as you are licking her glans works well sometimes.
When she reaches the brink . . . see what helps her along. One of the things that I discovered about J many years ago is that a well lubricated finger massaging the outer ring of her anus as her orgasm is about to explode sends her into shuddering orgasmic paroxysm. It turns me on hugely because I can feel her anus flexing and contracting as each orgasmic spasm is squeezing her vagina.
Anal massage and clit suckling in J often will get her to bridge from an initial orgasm to a second more intense one before the first one is totally resolved. Her anal opening is very very sensitive.
After her orgasm crests don’t maintain the same intense stimulation on her clit. Continue to stimulate it but much more gently. J doesn’t squirt but she produces prodigious volumes of orgasmic girl juice. The taste of this thick pearlescent orgasmic fluid is entirely different tasting than any other vaginal taste she has. I love it. For me it is a divine reward for a job well done.
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