Many years ago a sex educator in a class I took on female sexuality asked the question of us….why do women have orgasms? Men have orgasms and ejaculate to inject the little swimmers into the river to swim up stream and impregnate some poor unsuspecting egg, with the intent of continuing the species. But women don’t need an orgasm to necessarily get pregnant. So what gives?
The theory that this educator suggested was that the value of orgasm in women isn’t the orgasm itself. Obviously though, she was discounting the impact of the memory of blazing hot sex resulting in orgasm as a motivator to keep her coming back for more, insuring better odds for pregnancy. My instructor suggested that the great value in orgasm in women was in post orgasm. The deep relaxation and ecstatic bliss that permeates her body after she has just ridden this roller coaster ride of divine contractions, tingling spasms, skin crawling chills, and all the other wondrous sensations of orgasm, will keep her lying down, lost in reverie in my arms. This is also why the desire to cuddle after sex is so strong, Mother Nature figured that with a pussy full of his cock – cocktail if she wants s to cuddle, she ain’t getting up soon. The longer she is lying down with a vagina full of his hot chowder, the better the chance that there’s gonna be a baby in their future.
Orgasm in women all has to do with relaxation. Truth is, relaxation is the heart and soul of female orgasm. It’s really interesting if you think about it. When a guy is stressed out and frustrated will seek any avenue to deal with getting rid of stress. More often than not if he is totally wired and hassled, what he will do to de - stress is seek out his girl, some girl, any girl and do whatever he has to do to get her to accept the release of his stress by laying between her thighs, with his cock inside her with the intent of cumming in her as fast, as hard and as quickly as he possibly can.
But with a woman, if she is distracted, uneasy, worried, upset or stressed, its fairly likely that she won’t have an orgasm. Obviously this does not apply unequivocally to every woman but it is the general rule. If she isn’t trusting of me, comfortable with me and relatively relaxed, then she might go through the motions but very likely she won’t get the cigar. I’ll contradict myself though, my experience with this relaxation thing flies totally out the window under one circumstance, that is if she is really horny or really turned on by the guy. If she is simmering because of something in her head, it could be a favorite fantasy, a coworkers cute ass in nice slacks, an obvious bulge in a young guy’s crotch at the bus stop or a book she is reading, any of those things will certainly prime the pussy pump. Similarly, a meeting with a longed for lover, a guy she finds really attractive or her own familiar lover in a sexy situation, then the sky is the limit regardless of how she feels.
But in general I have found unless my lady is relaxed it aint happening. If my lady is relaxed, and if I can get her to forget about the crap of the day, then I can give her one of the best gifts a guy can give a woman, a pussy quaking – curling the toes orgasm. So the key then is what do I do to get her to relax?
Kind efforts, caresses, kisses hours or days before are a good way to start. Finding ways to show her I care when I leave for work in the morning. A warm and lingering kiss good bye before I leave for work or a caring phone call in the middle of the day. After I come home, a cuddle after dinner on the couch and a hand massage; anything that I can do to put her at ease and make her forget about the myriad things on her mind.
Backrubs, shoulder rubs, neck rubs all work pretty well. But with my special lady, foot rubs seem to get her so relaxed, that a 30 minute foot rub will cause her pubic hair to lose its curl. We have favorite lavender body oil that she loves. I will take the bottle and put it in a basin of warm water and let it heat up. In the mean time I will work on her neck, shoulders, pecks, breasts and nipples kneading them firmly but not hard. I am a big guy and my hands are large, with long and strong fingers. I have to be careful not to hurt her. I will knead and squeeze the knots in her muscles and the glands in her armpits and chest just to get her warmed up.
Then after I sense that the oil is nice and warm, I will sit at the bottom of the bed with the warmed oil near me and I will pool some in my hand. I will then apply it to her soles working from the soles up to her ankles. The areas that she finds most intensely erotic are her arches, between her toes and under her toes and the area on the inside side of her foot above her arches. I will work on her feet for 45 minutes or so very slowly and patiently. Most times I will have soft music playing and candles burning with all other lights out.
One thing that I came to appreciate about this is that if I am going to get her to surrender to the erotic sensations that I can give her then my own pleasure needs to wait in abeyance. My cock is usually rock hard and drooling seriously. The response that I am getting from her is partly responsible for my erection, but the view I have of her pussy also is enough to get my attention and interest. But at this moment, I need to think about one thing and one thing only . . .her orgasm and her vagina. Sometimes at the end of her orgasmic session I will get my release and maybe not. Either way it doesn’t matter …my attention is on her.
Most times after a foot rub with hot oil of 45 minutes to an hour her body will tell me several things about her arousal. If you watch carefully your own lady will reveal to you the secrets of her arousal. My knowledge of my wonderful lady has come from 38 years of intimacy with her body and especially that magical part of her between her thighs.
When she is getting really hot, a couple of things start to happen. Her vulva gets really puffy and engorged. Her inner lips will thicken and darken and they will protrude. Her nipples will darken and contract and her chest will start to heave. If I shift the massage up to her inner thighs and eventually to her vulva then some other things start to happen. If her thighs aren’t already widely open by now she will spread them wide for me. Any reservations or modesty that she has are pretty much gone. As I knead her vulva with my warm oiled hands, I avoid her vagina and her “wet parts”. I am just massaging the fleshy part of her. After ten minutes of this is when the miracle starts to happen. Her vagina will slowly open up. Her vaginal opening will literally gape and twitch ever so slightly. After a few minutes of what I have come to imagine as her pussy pleading for attention by howling open mouthed, that is when I will ever so gently focus on her opening.
Most guys don’t realize it but her clit isn’t just that little nub at the top of her hole. In addition to the glans (the tip), her clit has two legs that extend down along the insides of her opening. They are inside the mouth of her vagina and deeper under her skin than the glans is. These legs are not as sensitive as the glans is but they are worth the effort. What I will do is massage the opening of her vagina with well oiled smooth hands (perfect manicure is critical here) focusing at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock positions if she is lying on her back. Different ladies have different spots, these work in my girl. Gently but firmly with slick hands, I massage the opening at those points lightly squeezing them between my thumb and middle fingers. I do this firmly but very gently. She is really sensitive there.
After a few minutes of this her body will signal me what she is feeling. Most times she will start to roll her hips and thrust up to enhance the sensation. When she is at this point, her vagina will usually be drooling copius amounts of girl juice. I am now at a decision making point. I know that I can get her off one of three ways.
First I can mount her, and use my cock to give her that sense of fullness that she loves as I can shift my massage to her glans while I fuck her. This will usually push her over the edge the fastest, but maybe not the hardest. One of the things I learned years ago about her is that a fast orgasm isn’t necessarily the deepest and most satisfying one. If I can tease her and edge her repeatedly building her to a desperate climax, then her orgasm will be thunderous and deep and intense. She is impossible to hold back when I fuck her. The fullness of my penis deep inside her will drive her over the brink immediately when she is worked up.
Second option, I can use my fingers exclusively, inserting my right middle finger into her vagina and seeking her g spot out, massaging it in circles and pressing gently on it while my left thumb works little circles on the under side of her glans. This will get her to cum as well but I don’t enjoy it as much,
The third option is to go down on her. Again I would say that if you read my blogs you will predict easily what I usually will pick. My middle initial is C. It stands for cunnilingus. I love the mouth feel of her wet vagina, the taste of her and the scent of her.
Every lady is different but what works for mine at this point is light kisses to her glans which transition to suckling on it as if it was a nipple with my long index finger stroking the upper inside wall of her vaginal canal. I use long firm strokes from deep inside her beyond her g spot moving outward over her g spot to her opening, then with out reducing the pressure going back in again stroking her g spot as I go in. I will repeat this for as long as it takes and it usually doesn’t take long.
When she comes from this technique she will press my head against her and hump my face wildly. As I mentioned earlier any modesty and manners are gone. She will typically be delirious and almost out of control.
Underneath it all. I think that that is part of why I love her orgasms so much; obviously I love them because it is a special connection that we have. I love her to pieces and I would do anything I can to give her joy. This is the penultimate expression of my love for her; its’ intimate and as close to her as I can get.
The other reason I love her orgasms has to do with surrender and loss of control. She trusts me, she loves me and she is turned on by me. I can get her to relax and surrender her sex to me, she trusts me with it, she knows how well I know it, and her and she will relax and let me do whatever I want to her most intimate of places.
When she opens her legs wide and presents her vagina to me it is the ultimate surrender. What she gets in return are sensations that are so deep, so intense, hard, ragged and erotic that she loses all modesty, propriety and control. She stops being a lady and she becomes a mass of orgasmic sensations centered in her vagina, radiating from there to all parts of her body.
I love her and I love that I can do this to her. I am grateful that I know her body as well as my own. I am thankful that I can help her experience this amazing thing … female orgasm.
This is my story but as I said every lady is different. If you are woman ... what turns you on? If you are a guy, tell me what works for your lady. The wonderful thing about our bodies and our orgasms is that they are all different.
Share your experience in the comments of this blog!!!!!
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