I am a people person; I love being among people. I am not a party animal. I am a thoughtful - introspective person until you put me in front of a large group of people (250 – 1000), then my switch to public mode gets turned on. I can hold a large groups attention with humor, pithy commentary and eye contact. I do it for a living. Beyond liking people in general, I particularly love women. I have always been drawn to female sexuality and femininity but I have always been respectful; above all else I am a gentleman. . I am a pacifist; I detest violence of any sort. I have never been in a fight in my life and I have never raised my voice in anger in my entire life. I am a great listener and I am very empathetic. Despite my abhorrence of violence I am a very forceful, highly principled and incredibly assertive person. I can be stubborn as hell. I am far from a push over. My large size has been the big stick that has allowed me to speak softly for so many years. Zen has helped me refine this quality to a very high degree; I have an imposing presence.
I am the happily married monogamous husband of J and the father of K, L and D. I have been married to J for 37 years; I dated her exclusively for 3 years before we were married. We were teenagers when we met freshman year of college. I have never been unfaithful and I worship the ground she walks on. J has always kidded me that I am her big guy, with a big heart and a penis of equally generous proportion. I think that prodigious equipment is genetic in our family …all of the guys in my family are ummmm …. well hung. I have a libido that matches my penis . . . I always have. As I have gotten older, my libido has actually intensified and my sexual performance has gotten stronger. There is a reason for that …I will explain.
In my teens and twenties I developed hair trigger orgasms as a result of being overly enthusiastic about masturbation. I put the word master in masturbation; I yanked on my hapless equipment so much that I became a star in the ejaculatory quarter mile. I was a champion . . . zero to cum in 15 seconds. I was revving on that starting line up to 5 times a day. Although that was a source of great pride and personal achievement, as well as blue balls, it wasn’t great training for controlled sexual performance with my girlfriend (now wife). I was jack rabbit of jack off and she was tentative and shy in arousal. Her vagina was also very very tight for my ample equipment so sex was painful unless she was relaxed . . . she was often too nervous to relax. I was not smart enough to know what to do to help her or how to compensate; the early years of sex were far from memorable for both of us. My skill at making love was hmmmmm .... lets say less than marginal to say the least; the sex was barely ok for me and perfunctory for J; and it wasn’t enough to slake my erotic desire.
I was always affectionate and tender and caring in our personal relations but in bed all that disappeared. The only head I paid attention to has the one at the end of my penis. So because the sex was fast, unfulfilling, routine and without soul, I continued to do what I always did …. tug on the bishop and make him spit at me. To say that I was sexually immature would be an understatement.
As technology advanced so did pornography and I was there pulling on my pink friend as it did. Our sex life was routine and not memorable, but it did several things. It got us kids and it was symbolic. J loved me but sex was fucking not making love. Kids, work and house took precedence over everything and sex retreated even farther as time went by. If we fucked once every two weeks it was ok. In porno, I graduated from magazines, to beta tapes, to vhs tapes, to dvds. The topics of the porno got weirder and weirder as my erotic life got duller and duller. Fortunately it never veered towards bdsm (I am non violent). But I soon discovered that porno is like drugs, you tend to get desensitized to it.
Eventually the stimulation of porno wasn’t enough to harden me up and inspire fountains of cum; my libido pressured me to up the ante. I began to crave the hard stuff …real women. The temptations were huge but fortunately I managed to keep them to fantasy. . I never strayed. I went through my thirties and forties the same nice guy I am now but I was a frustrated sexual clod, married to a wonderful girl who I loved more than life itself.
In the midst of this erotic turmoil in my life when I was in my mid forties I went out to San Francisco for a professional training program for two weeks. I found myself in a sexually liberated city, the birthplace of the free love movement of my youth. I had never been there before and I was very curious what kind of sexual experiences were available in this sexual Mecca. On the Friday just before the weekend I scanned an alternative newspaper for interesting sexual opportunities. . I really didn’t know what I was looking for, but this was San Francisco it was all here, I would find something I was sure. That is when I saw the ad for a sexuality education center. It sounded hot and erudite all at the same time. So I called and inquired where they were; I showed up on Saturday morning penis in pants ready to be aroused.
I walked in the door that Saturday morning and as fate would have it the only course that was available was a singles course on female sexuality. I love women and I was a bit of a sexual clod so I figured why not? I paid the fee and enrolled. At 9:30 AM that morning when I went into the room with my 15 fellow female classmates, aged 25 to 55 (there were no guys). Little did I know what this class would do to me and what it would inspire me to begin. That chance seat in that class was transformational. It was two days of lectures, demonstrations, movies and interaction with 15 marvelous, friendly and supportive female friends; the intensity of my erection during the entire two days was matched only but the intensity of my erotic awareness and curiosity. I left that class a changed man.
I can’t really adequately describe the feeling I had as I left the class at the end of the 2nd day. I was sent off with 15 hugs and best wishes from these very understanding and supportive women. They knew that my mission was to unclod myself and they wished me well. I got a taxi cab right outside of the door of the center, and although I told the driver to take me back to my hotel, I was really starting a journey that was much longer than a 30 minute car ride.
I was really embarking on the first leg of a lifelong trip to expand my knowledge and understanding of female sexual response, discover all things erotic and expand my own sexual performance and orgasmic ability. When I exited the cab a short while later I opened the cab door and stepped into the quest that has led me to where I am today.
What that weekend did was put me on the road to the lifelong task of bringing my lifes values, ethics and affinity to (spiritually)love women together with my steaming sexuality. It is a lifelong process because it is an effort to blend my idealized lofty thoughts and life ethics with the seething deperation of my sex drive. My mind was also enthralled with the wonders of sweet and exquisite femininity juxtaposed to the mystery of the subtle bubbling cauldron of feminine sexuality. Reconciling the two is a lifes work. I got on that arduous path to accomplish that task that sunday afternoon.
So here I am 15 years later. How far have I gotten and what have I learned?
Early on I learned how to treat a woman in bed, and in general; there is no difference. To do that appropriately, I needed to understand “the other team.” I have learned alot of how my woman and women in general think and feel. I gained a new understanding of women’s attitudes, needs and views on relationships, female sexual response, erotic needs of women, female sexual anatomy but most importantly I learned about the erotic complexities the female mind and the relationship between her mind and her genitalia.
As a result of my new appreciation of sexual mind - body connection, I developed the skill to allow my lady to relish the sweet agony and intensely satisfying experience of deep orgasms. I learned the power of the insistent and arousing probing of my penis in her vagina and the simultaneous meshing of our sexual minds. I learned how to communicate erotic thoughts to her with words and wordlessly with my eyes, my face, and my touch. I learned to slow down love making to experience sensations inside of ourselves and of each others bodies. I learned to relish the warm sweetness of her vagina caressing me, squeezing me and milking me; subsequently I was able to help her learn to lose herself in the blissful sensation of penetration. I learned how to use my penis to massage those sweet tender places in the depths of her secret place.
I have helped my sweet J to be patient with herself and recognize the subtle cues that I can plant deep in her pussy; to get her to gently embrace those sweet subtle feelings and nurture them to give her orgasms that arch her back and contort her face as she clenches my cock deep inside her. I learned to give her orgasms that cause ecstasy to drool from her contracting pussy as if it was a wet cloth being wrung by my strong but loving hands. I have been able to walk an erotic path with her that has connected us emotionally and metaphysically as I share rapturous erotic experiences with her.
I have gained a wonderful understanding of her physical sexuality, the wonders of her vagina and how she likes to be probed by my penis, my insistent fingers and warm and loving mouth. In particular I have come to appreciate the spirituality of open eyed penetrative love making. Most of all I have fallen in love with cunnilingus and she has become a willing and enthusiastic recipient of my oral love.
I have helped her discover the freedom of being sexually unashamed. She is less inhibited and more blatantly sexual in our bed and in our relationship. I have learned what I can do to help her embrace her femininity and use it to arouse me and make me a better lover.
I have taught myself, and as a result I have become a firm and loving teacher. But I have also become her trusted sex partner and most of all her best friend, just as she is my best friend.
But it goes beyond J. I have developed a deeper respect, admiration and love for all women. I understand how you all think in bed and out. I have come to appreciate the complexity, sexiness and miracle of your bodies and your minds. This appreciation puts me in awe of all of you. You are all a gift.
But the discovery has not just been about women. It has been about my own sexuality, how I express myself erotically, how to feel and savor rapture and ecstasy and how to engage the head on my shoulders in sex and not just the head of my penis. I learned how I need to think erotically, emotionally and psychologically as well as physically with J. I learned how to allow her to express her desire for me and encourage her to be as sexually responsive as she can be. I also learned how to push my body to experience the limits of ecstasy.
What did I do to get here after I left that taxi cab in San Francisco? Initially I read like crazy. I got books, dvds and video tapes on tantric sex. I took 2 workshops on Kundalini Yoga and sex, and one on Zen Buddhism and human sexuality and I read more books on both topics. On two occasions I went into erotic massage parlors and paid the providers to let me learn on their bodies and give me feedback. I was very lucky in that I had two very friendly and supportive young women who were happy to help me. They guided me unashamedly on what I was doing wrong, how various things felt and what it took to get them off.
On both occasions with these professionals I went back to my hotel room and masturbated furiously. I had instructed them at the initiation of my visits that I was not there seeking my orgasm, I was there seeking theirs. My agreement with both of them was that I was paying for their guidance and their bodies not my own gratification. As silly as it may sound, not focusing on my orgasm was very helpful to me. My request established the basis for how they talked to me, responded to me and reacted to what I was doing to their bodies. It wasn’t like I was some guy off the street who was there to get his rocks off, I was there as a student who was seeking their help to understand something magical … female bodies and their sexual response.
I was able to experiment and ask questions innocently with no fear of exposing my inadequacies. It enabled me to test some of the things that I saw in the workshop and adjust what I remembered to get the best feeling based on constructive feedback. I got amazing responses from them instructionally, they gave me guidance I could never have gotten from any other source. In return they got great results orgasmically. In both cases the sessions finished with them having several thunderous orgasms, I left them pleased as hell. As for me I left being pleased as hell with myself. I had a head full of new knowledge and pants full of a hard cock. I felt the exultation as if I had just climbed Mt. Everest; I had just given two women convulsive multiple orgasms.
But it didn’t end there. Perhaps the most dramatic change in me has been in my autoerotic experience. I have transformed myself from master masturbator into master of multiple male orgasms.
I discovered multiple male orgasms (MMO’s) or Autoerotic Dry Orgasms (ADO’s) a couple of years after the workshop in California when I was 46 or 47. However I really didn’t grasp the ability to experience them fully until my early fifties after years of research and trial and effort. I actually only gained the mental and physical acuity to enjoy really really deep and satisfying ADO’s only 4 years ago, after years of experimentation. I now consider myself to be reasonably skilled.
In essence an ADO is an orgasm minus the ejaculation. They occur in sets of multiples. The sensation of each orgasmic spasm is approximately the same as an ejaculatory spasm although an ADO is decidedly more intense. However the biggest difference is an ADO is that I can have 100 orgasmic spasms or more in a 60 minutes time frame as opposed to three or four spasms in an ejaculating orgasm of 20 seconds. Also they are centered in my penile bulb, prostate and anus . . . my penis is a passive participant in an ADO.
To understand this in real terms I will tell what happened to me last night as well as what led up to it. To launch myself into ADO’s I need to be really horny. For me this has been a dry week, 7 days (not 10 as I stated in a blog today) with out ejaculating. It has been an intense week …no time for sex.
Last night I was talking to an SF member about MMO’s and describing a mild session I had the day before. As I described the sensation I began to get turned on. I went to bed with a serious case of wooden cock. At 3:30 AM, I woke up, wide awake from a sound sleep, with an erection that was beyond firm. It was aching hard; the skin on my penis was stretched so thin I thought it would split. J was sleeping next to me with a tee shirt and no bottoms.
Ordinarily it takes 30 minutes or so of meditation, breathing , erotic imagery and body control to swell my prostate to the point that I can coax it to orgasm. In the last two years I have learned a short cut. J has helped me in this when she has participated in an ADO with me, but this time she was sleeping, a passive supporter.
I spooned her and nestled my cock in the warm caress of her ass crease. I lay there perfectly still. After a few minutes it started as a gentle squeezing deep inside my anus. It was my prostate growing and carrying a blissful throbbing pulsing sensation as it firmed and stiffened. My gland was getting erect. Prostate glands are erectile tissue just like cocks, and just as the feeling of an erection of my cock brings a desperately sweet and exquisite feelings, the erection that was occurring deep inside my asshole was doing the same. My cock was till rock hard, immobile held in her crease as the sensation and my organ grew deep inside me. Soon my entire abdominal area was glowing with tingling / sparkling sensations.
It has taken me years to learn what is what and what I need to do to fan the embers inside of me that offer the promise of a gut wrenching ADO.
I then rolled away from J and lay on my back, hands on my chest, and began the second step in the process . . . meditation and breathing. Mind and body control is critical at this point. I needed to sense and control sensations in my prostate, penile bulb, perineum, nipples and balls with my mind, sensing what they were feeling and willing them to embrace the feelings and amplify them. As I lay there I breathed slowly and evenly, relaxing myself and slowing down my body. I then filled my mind with myriad erotic fantasies and began to focus on the sensations that were sparking in a half dozen spots inside of me as a result. It is a difficult thing to explain exactly how I do it and what I do. It is best explained as gently blowing on different embers . . . carefully encouraging them to grow without extinguishing them. It calls for great finesse and control and intense concentration. At the same time I am gently squeezing my prostate internally, again not hard or forcefully as being forceful will cause the sensation to fade.
It can best be described as keeping multiple spinning plates in the air.
The sensation grows in repetitive waves of building sexual tension. With intense concentration I continued to follow the sensation and not push it. The path to an ADO is an effort to recognize the feelings that are now spreading across my body and follow where they lead, encouraging them and not forcing them.
Usually after 45 minutes from when I first started the orgasmic spasms begin. They are exactly what a guy feels in the moments between the internal pulses of ejaculation and the expulsion of cum, but there is no cum. What followed was a set of 25- 30 of these orgasmic spasms that built to a rapid fire crescendo of spasms bunched together in divine agonizing rapture. The crescendo then faded in flutters only to start building to another crescendo again again in 3 or 4 minutes.
I was really horny last night, so it was relatively easy to maintain the continuous set of spasms. By the time the evening was done I had ridden a dozen waves with 3 to 4 minute rest between them. Each wave had 25 - 40 spasms. It was a totally exhausting experience. I struggled to lie still as the waves washed over me and struggled as well to avoid making any noise. I can comfortably say that this was in the top 5 sessions I have ever had. The one last night was longer than most it was almost two hours from start to finish.
But the road that brought me to be a better lover and a person who can experience ADO’s was not a straight one. From the age of 44 to 54 was a period of incredible sexual growth and development. I had in effect transformed myself. Then 5 years ago I ran into some severe health problems. These devastating problems sidelined me for 6 months. No sex, no orgasms, no stressful activity for six months. I was to maintain very carefully managed physical activity per doctors orders. When all was said and done I did not have an orgasm for 7 months.
That hiatus did several things. First and foremost it saved my life. However, in the process of doing that I learned to have a new appreciation of my life, women and the love of my life J.
The “stew” of my erotic life was rich and savory before my health crisis, in the previous ten years. With the health issue and the subsequent hiatus, the effect was that of a reduction of a sauce in cooking. Just as heat reduces a sauce and makes it more concentrated and intense, that event that sidelined me, increased my concentration and my focus even more.
It gave me a more rich and intense view of my sexual world and my world in general. In effect I had gone thru a reductive process. My sexual intensity, appreciation and acumen redoubled and became more intense, deeper and fuller.
Coming back to the introduction to this entry …what does this all mean? What has it done to me and who am I?
I now have the orgasmic strength of someone half my age and the orgasmic control of a yogi.
I can make love for extended period of times and I consistently cum in streams.
I produce copious amounts of precum with minimum inspiration; this often not a blessing.
I am a passionate and considerate lover who is able to help a woman realize her maximum orgasmic potential.
I can now enjoy and facilitate sexual coupling that is tantamount to being a spiritual experience.
I am a better lover, listener and friend to women in particular.
I am a better person.
That is who Tenyn is. The reason I am here is that I am a verbal exhibitionist. I love sharing myself and my experience with all of you. SF is a phenomenal resource. It has uniquely introduced me to you and allowed me to share my story.
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