A little background. I struggled in school when I was younger, not due to lack of intelligence but rather my anxious mind. Compulsive foot tapping, twirling my pen through my fingers, trying my best to pay attention despite the war going on in my head. I was diagnosed with severe ADD at 11, fifth grade. Ever since, I've been medicated, and in therapy to learn how to control my mind, or at least be able to function properly.
Six years and many different prescriptions later, I had my ADD figured out pretty well. However, during my time in high school my state of mind began to worsen. I went on rampant mood swings that couldn't be explained away by raging hormones. I had anxiety attacks that caused me to black out on multiple occasions, once while driving. I developed suicidal tendencies and eventually attempted to overdose on sleeping pills (I'm much, much better now). I've since been diagnosed now with bipolar disorder, and ever since that incident have made large strides in becoming a happier, functioning member of society.
Now, I'll be honest: I absolutely LOVE sex. The closeness with another person, the passion, the freedom. However, it seems my treatment is beginning to take away from that. Not only does my medication cause occasional impotence and a severely decreased libido, whenever I am able to have sex and orgasm, I crash. Hard. I mean an inexplicable 180 from bliss to dark, dark depression and anxiety. When these symptoms began to appear, I was in a deeply emotional relationship with a girl who was a senior in high school (she's 18, I'm 20). We danced around the idea of dating for a while until February, where we had 6 months before she left for school in Alabama. After all I had been through in the last few years, she was a welcomed change of pace. But my new medications began instilling that worry, and anxiety within me, which only got worse the more physical we became. I feel like I could've given so much more, if it wasn't for these problems.
This does sound whiny, I'm well aware. But I know that there are so many more out there who have these exact same issues. They've ruined friendships, families, and lives. So if you are currently, or are involved in the future with someone suffering from depression, bipolar or anxiety disorder, please know that it's not their fault, and it is most certainly not your fault. If you show them love and support, they will return it ten fold.