...having spent many years on the larger islands in thailand and observed the waysof the thai beach boys from a cultural and habitual perspective, i feel itmight be helpful to put out some advice for those new girls to thailand whofind themselves interested in a thai beach boy, as i am so tired and depressedat seeing these young, beautiful, naive girls come to thailand with noknowledge of the culture or situation and getting beat, cheated on, lied to,left pregnant or sick with STDs, and publicly humiliated by one of these guys,and sent home crying their eyes out, their self esteem ruined.
here's the deal, and you might think i am being overly harsh but i could referyou to plenty of girls who learned the hard way:
- it's all about sex, not love. thai guys have to work very hard and even paymoney to a thai girl's family before she will let him in. in contrast, faranggirls on holiday will jump right into bed with the boys, and it's free! theyhave many girls to choose from, you are not important to them. every singleweek there arrives a new load of nubile, easy tourist girls. i have seen somany times the boys take their "girlfriend" of the week to the boatto leave, and they wait there for the next boat to pull in and pick up whateverstupid girl is on it. face it, these guys get these jobs many time because thaigirls do not want them. they work around farang girls because they know it iseasy and free to get them in bed. every single one of these girls thinks theyare special, and that their new man is "different" and they soon findout they are wrong.
- they lie. they will say absolutely ANYTHING to get you to sleep with them. itis a game. there is a lot of backslapping with their friends when they succeedin picking you up. they will lie about their age, marital status, how muchmoney they make, everything in their past. the goal is simply to win. this isthe same in every culture but in a tourist area it becomes a lot more hard core.
-they are not safe. you need to wear condoms, and if you don't, god help you.these guys sleep with an insane number of girls, and some with boys as well.even if you have been together for a couple weeks, that doesn't mean it is safeto stop wearing condoms. if yu want to do that, go get both of you testedfirst.
-some of these guys are serious criminals. you might think it is glamorous todate a drug dealer, but look up the drug laws in thailand. it isn't fun towatch your boyfriend out of his head every night either. a lot of the boys iknow have actually raped and/or murdered someone in the past! they definitelyaren't going to tell you this themself. they also can be very violent, and noone is going to tell you that they beat the crap out of the last little englishgirl who was here because everyone around them is afraid of repercussions. agood rule to keep in mind is that if there are any long term farang girlsaround, and they seem wary of discussing your man, it is because they have beenthreatened. if they drop you any hints, take them seriously- they have seenthese guys in action. the stupidest thing you can do is run right back to theguy saying "so and so said"- in the long run you will have sabatogedthe only support network available to you.
- if they get you pregnant and want to marry you in a short amount of time,they probably want a visa to your country. most of the girls i know who gotpregnant were abandoned by their boyfriend for the next sweet young thing. asfor marriage, it doesn't stop most of them from cheating. do some reading onthai culture, visit their family, look at their friends and position insociety, and ask yourself "do i really know and trust this guy to build alife with?" before you get ahead of yourself. some of these guys are verypoor and see you as their meal ticket. don't trust an offer of free landeither. nothing is free.
beach boys have a bad reputation, and it is well deserved. don't assume thatall thai men are the same (there are lots of nice thai guys around, but itseems like once they become too involved with the tourist industry they getjaded and hard), and there are even one or two of the beach boys that turn outto be ok in the long run. but there are far, far more broken heart stories thangood ones in this element of society. generally speaking, if you meet a young,good looking guy in a tourist area, who speaks decent english, has a tattoo orpiercing or farang style clothes, who says he is a dj, who twirls fire, or whoworks at a bar, they are most likely professionals with a long history. theworst ones i have met are on koh chang, in bangkok, and on koh phangan. makesure you know what you are in for. it's cool to come and have fun for a week orso on your holiday, but it is when you start taking it more seriously that youwill have problems. you have to be willing to work through a lot of crap over along period of time before there is a possibility of a successful relationship.if you don't plan on staying in thailand, then forget about it. watch out fornumber one, and good luck.