You ever get the feeling no one gets your mentality? I get that every day and not in just one type of way. On the topic of relationship though it's a fairly simple statement but a complex explanation. I don't need a relationship. Sure they're nice to have but frankly it's not something I couldn't live without. A lot of people feel they NEED to be in one, that they NEED to have sexual interaction, in order to survive mentally or be fulfilled. To me these are all things that have been planted by influences throughout our lives. I don't hate on people that feel that way but it puzzles me as I look on at the way they speak. I think friends are important. It's always good to have a friend but why the need for more? Are there fated circumstances that bring two or more people together in a sensual or sexual way? Or do we put labels on animal instincts and a base emotion to crave affection? I don't know. Also uncontrollable urges are a mystery to me. I believe every person is capable of controlling themselves and no one should be a catalyst for you to do otherwise. These so called "needs" that people have sometimes appear from my side as just heightened wants. Again something I don't understand.
Anyway, the world moves on with or without you. You will only be remembered by the people whose lives you touched no matter how great or small that number is. I believe in living your life exactly the way that a person wants to. I do believe that every woman is a princess and like a little sister to me and for those that are further along in years I treat every one like a queen or an aunt. I am very protective of women in general as well as young children, disabled & elderly and will go to bat for them in any case even if they are strangers. To my friends I am very loyal and a gift giver and am so without any need for return or thanks just besides a smile even if tomorrow they stopped talking to me completely it would not hurt my feelings.
Pride is another big factor today. Everyone demands things and cannot take any sort of insult without getting riled up. Their whole world turns to red when someone disagrees with them or calls them stupid or ugly or whatever. They are just words. It's ok. You will live another day even if someone likes you or hates you. Don't take it so hard. Be happy in yourself and these things seem very trivial.
When I was younger there was a time period where I fought in underground street fights. The whole experience started with me severely hurting a male my own age after I found out he had beat his girlfriend who I didn't even know personally. I felt the rush of battle everytime I stepped in the human-made ring. I could almost say it was rewarding to pick certain fights with people who I thought were less than human for doing the things they did and chalk up the righteousness of my actions in that I never fought anyone smaller than me and they got exactly what they deserved when I was done. Of course all the witnesses just loved to see the show and I was praised for the brutality of it. At which point it would make me sick to my stomach to have those words mirrored back at me but with so much glee. I endured in this ignorance for a couple of years until I grew tired of all the violence and trying to justify that I was somehow doing a good deed to those who were incapable of putting these assholes into their place. I wasn't a mascot of justice. I was a brutal fighter who people loved to see get down & dirty while they cheered for the worst.
Money is another thing I don't quite understand the fascination with. Truthfully I fear people would nearly kill and eat each other without our modern conveniences and the loss of an economy. I have acquired myself a decent amount of funds over the years but never at the cost of hoarding it to myself or am even the least bit worried about losing it all to the last cent if things go south. The money I make I believe is a luxury and really something that should be shared to make others smile. When I die it's not coming with me or anything.
In conclusion, most of those who read this will probably think I am somewhat a gloomy person or some may even feel sad for me, but the truth is I am extremely happy and enjoy my way of life. No one understands that because they think to be happy its suppossed to be a "particular" way. I wake up every day with a smile and I drift off with happy thoughts every night. The real reason for this personal blog is to show a little glimpse of myself as well as take any comments or questions someone may have or even, if I'm real lucky, you tell me about your way of thinking. Every opinion and thought of yours is important.