An example of one of these tried jealous situations happened about 6 years ago. A girl who I was seeing at the time tried to invoke a jealous response from me by secretly inviting her ex-bf to a club that we were going to that weekend. I found out about this by one of her friends who just up & told me as a heads up but I told her that it wasn't an issue which she was even confused why it wasn't. When Saturday night came and we were all having a good time drinking, dancing, & trying to talk over the loud ass music lol Jenn had slipped away to go talk to this guy. I continued to hang with friends and dance. About 5 min passed when I noticed she was dancing with him in a very bump & grind kind of way but having a good time. Her friend who had told me the info earlier in the week and one of my guy friends got kind of pissed saying things like she didn't need to be doing that. I told them that if she's having fun then leave her be. They insisted that she was only doing it to make me jealous. I got kinda wounded by this statement and I told them that that wasn't a good reason if she's pretending. Now when she talked about her ex while we saw each other she would tell me things like how he was so needy and "goody-goody" and boring, etc. That's why it puzzled me why she would pretend to have a good time to make me jealous if she had no interest in this poor guy. One of her friends piped up what I already knew, "She's leading him on to get to you." I immediately got mad. I excused myself just as a song was ending and walked over to the 2 of them and asked if I could borrow Jennifer for a moment. He was about to make an issue of it but I assured him with a smile, "It'll only be just a minute." Surprisingly, he said ok in which I was expecting an abrasive uncalled for reaction which just added to the thought that he's not really such a bad guy. I walked with her over to the side near the bar and told her, "Jennifer, I don't think its right to be leading that fellow on to get a rise out of me." The briefest moment of shock showed in her eyes that could have almost been missed before she responded nonchalantly, "I'm not leading him on. I'm just having fun." I told her, "I hope you're doing that for the right reasons." In typical female fashion she tried to bring up what she wanted to find out indirectly by appearing that she thought it was funny, "Oh baby are you jealous...?" she said smiling. I told her, "No, Jenn. I'm just worried you're going to hurt that guy by making him believe something that's not there so you can get your kicks.". She instantly got on the defense, "I'm not playing anything! I just wanted to have a good time and you're ruining it." I rested my hand on her shoulder, "Jenn, I also don't want to see you aggravated if he decides to pursue further." She kinda backtracked and said, "Well you'd protect me if that happened." Again I was a little put off by this, "Not if it was by your doing for all the wrong reasons. He still likes you. Be responsible for your actions and be true to yourself. For your sake and his." She flared up hard, "Fuck you! You don't need to tell me what to do! You're not my daddy! I might just have him take me home tonight!" I understood that she was angry that her plan had failed but was still trying to squeeze jealously from me anyway she could...but I wasn't about to ruin a perfectly good night prolonging this debate. I told her, "Do it for the right reasons." She was shocked and stormed off. For the next hour and a half I hung with the group and had a good time even though some of her friends were about to write her off by being a (what they called her) "bitch" even though I didn't tell them what we talked about. Around the last half hour that the club was open she had made her way back to us. A few that were in our group didn't even talk to her. One of her friends abruptly said, "So you done playing around while your bf enjoyed himself with us?" She was very quiet and looked at me kind of sad, "Yeah..." she said. She stuck close to me not saying much but looking at me until it was time to leave. When we were walking out in the parking lot she finally spoke to me, "Larry..." I looked back at her stopping noticing tears welling up in her eyes, "I'm sorry. Don't hate me." I stepped right in front of her and told her, "Aww Jenn doll, I don't hate you." I wrapped my arms around her as she hugged tightly to me putting her head to my chest. "I'm so stupid." she said. I told her, "We all make hasty decisions sometimes and it can be said its my fault too for not having a jealous bone in my body. Perhaps you wouldn't have gone to the extreme you did. But you corrected it for yourself and for that guy so you wouldn't have to hurt him further. In the end that's what matters and you did it for the right reasons." She squeezed me harder and sobbed a second before saying, "Thank you." I pushed her back and wrapped my arm around her as we started walking again and told her, "C'mon, kiddo, I'll treat you to some breakfast."
Jealousy is something that can really be done without in our society. Outside of my situations I have noticed time and time again in my short time here how jealousy turns people and escalates problems to terrible heights from an emotion that shouldn't be there in the first place. I am no perfect person. Just because I don't feel envy's touch doesn't make me saintly by far. But I believe as a fellow citizen of humanity that we all need to strive to feel proud of each other in our succcesses and happy for ourselves in our own lives. Love not to be loved in return, but love to spread the joy of just being here with the people we share the world with.