As I age I find my desires became and still are becoming more intense. Intense visual's in my head can make my spine tingle more often then they ever have and for the most part I like it but it does get a little overwhelming. I have to stop here and be honest, I feel like it's part of turning 40 and part of regaining control of my senses after 9 years of opiate dependency really. I've been off of opiate pain meds for 11 months now and I've been able to make a lot of head room in regaining self. I find accepting myself and going forward to be all I can really do, so... Still the point of this ramble was, I believe after so many years on meds that I didn't really need but for a brief period - I feel like I'm returning to my young self just a little more silver. As things wake up and scars heal, I find my brain to be wanting to hit the "like" button on things I once would not. I find myself loving the intense pleasure that shows all over a woman and each woman when I think back, forward and in between - shows it her own awesome way. I wish I was mature enough to understand that from point A.
So while there are many many things I am feeling, seeing and wanting (sometimes I feel like I could drool) I also feel happy I have learned about real woman through my awesome Wife. I also have to admit, I am a big kid in too many ways, maybe with the exception of sex. The fact that she puts up with me is award winning lol. Well okay, I can enjoy a good laugh during sex but of course only at the right time. Right? lol Sex while awesome in many ways, mustn't lack the sense of having fun regardless of how intense, which is real gooood. Ok so this is truly some ramble but hey it's a blog I don't really expect anybody to see much or want to rather lol. More next time. ~ Drew