Opting for the second nightgown I put it on and went to bed. Oh, such a lovely feeling. I couldn’t sit on the edge of my bed, I kept slipping toward the edge and even when I schooched back until my knees were barely at the edge and it was still slippery.
As can be seen by the time I didn’t get a full nights sleep, I actually got up about twenty before 3AM, got all my camera equipment out and in the large bedroom set up and began taking pictures. There are some of me wearing the black gown and a number in the sheer one I slept in.
It’s obvious (to me and probably to the reader) that I’m falling deeper into this obsession. I know it and don’t care as I’m having too much fun. There will be a time in the near future when I’ll go back to “normal” but I’m not looking forward to it.
I must have taken many more pictures this morning than I thought, they are still downloading from the camera to PhotoShopElements 7.0 where I work on them.
Here is the black gown.While very soft and slippery it is not my preferred one. I much prefer the white one as seen next to the black one.
Unfortunately I couldn’t get the remote flash to work remotely and the built in flash washed the pictures out so I can’t use them. Later today I will try again in the living room with natural light and maybe the white gown will become transparent or nearly so.
While rummaging around in my wife’s things I came across a very brief, almost lacy, thong panties that I am now wearing. Maybe later today when shooting in the living room I’ll get a picture or two of me wearing them.
I think I’ll head back tobed but naked this time. I’ll try to masturbate. Can’t believe how often I’ve been doing that lately. Really wearing my poor penis out.
Got some sleep, not enough really but here I am. The shades in the big bedroom are now open in preparation for further picture taking. This time I’ll try with natural light. Still cloudy but am hoping if it doesn’t clear up and get some sunlight it will, at least, brighten up enough so I can get some sexy pictures, especially the sheer nightgown. Some semi-transparent pic’s would be nice.
A NEW THREAD
Did I mention about wanting,from an early age, to go naked? It has been a lifelong need for me. It hasn’t been dominate just hanging around in the background of my mind for as long as I can remember. Too, since at least the late 1960’s and 70’s developed a kinky aspect to my personality.
It started with the advent of my introduction to various psychotropic drugs, pot, LSD, Mescaline, and the magic mushroom. At that time I began to read books that advocated mixed “marriages”, though not interracial (necessarily) but groups of one or more males and females. Nudity and open sex were not only tolerated but perhaps encouraged though not required.
Later on when it was possible to surf the internet I found BDSM and slavery. I’d already read the “Story of O” which was the most erotic and mind blowing story I have, to this day, read. I was in a constant state of arousal, not the normal sort but a literal muscle shaking arousal. I could hardly read one page without masturbating. My penis was in a constant state of erection. That was my first contact with BDSM and it sure whetted my appetite.
As I read more and more of those stories the more I wanted to enslave myself to my wife. I bought chains, locks and even a ring to be mounted on the wall so she could restrain me at night with the chains and locks. She wouldn’t have any part of it. I guess shej ust isn’t/wasn’t as dominate as I wished for. Too, I didn’t lead her with suggestions I just dumped it on her one day. She was appalled at the thought.
One day I even jacked off in the living room while she watched, ejaculated into a saucer and for the first time in my life licked up my cum. I’d always wondered what it would taste like (I no longer remember) but no matter how many times I decided to do so the need and desire fell by the wayside when my orgasm subsided. My wife was absolutely beside herself with disgust and that was the end of that except for chaining myself up at night for a while. But, essentially that was the end of my slavery attempt.
Oh, one other thing I bought a quirt one day with the intention of having my wife whipping me with it butbagain she just wasn’t into that scene.
Have to get dressed now much as I dislike the idea but our neighbor will be over to vacuums the house and beside it’s time to watch the Spanish Gran Prix.
So, later to finish this.
So now back to my life story, at least the kinky part.
In spite of the disappointment over my wife’s lack of interest, in fact extreme aversion I still continued to pursue my obsession with things pornographic. Every subject interested me: BDSM, of course, but also SM, bestiality, incest, slavery,cuckold, even watersports, almost any subject that involved sex in some way.
Cuckolding is a favorite,I’ve indulged in the past with my first wife at least once. Not sure if I mentioned it before but one night when my brother was visiting after we went to bed and some heavy petting the subject of my wife getting it on with my brother came up, probably at my suggestion. Helen (not her real name) got out of bed and padded naked out to the living room where my brother was sleeping.
Helen didn’t want me to see what was going on and I promised not to look, the main reason was the little bit of light from the front window. She was concerned Tom (again not his real name) might either object or be put off. Also, she didn’t mind a little diversion but probably didn’t want me to see what was going on, to see her actually fucking Tom.
I didn’t go into the livingroom but did go to the end of the hall that led there and listened to their actions. I was so excited, naked, raging hard on, almost unable to keep from jacking off. I don’t remember if I finally did have an orgasm or made myself wait until we were both back in bed. I know I went back when it became obvious they were finished. Did Helen and I have a fuck fest when she came back? I honestly don’t remember but I do know it was the most intense experience of my life and I wanted to experience it again. Unfortunately that never happened though she did tell me that one day while I was at school orwork, don’t remember which, Tom and a friend of ours Scott Free (he called himself) came over to the house, a not unusual happening, and somehow cudgeled Helento have sex with both of them. I can only think they were all naked and in the same room as they fucked her. At least that is what I choose to believe.
I can’t think of any thing more erotic than a threesome.
After we moved to a lake where we bought a house we began to have troubles. I was having depression but not understanding what it was. Helen had some problems also that mitigated against her working or much going out in public. She had rather large thighs and calves that weren’t fat but some genetic problem.
Somehow we both met people we liked and started having sex with them. I found a woman who really turned me on, though I was still “in love” with my wife. (Not really as our marriage was already falling apart though we didn’t realize it at the time). This is very complicated. I can’t remember how my wife met the young man but they became very friendly and before long were indulging in sex in our bedroom and not without my approval.
One night we had company,one of whom was the woman I became intimately involved with. While Helen and whoever was visiting us Carol and I ended up laying on the living room floor on our bellies facing each other and talked for what seemed hours. Instantly I fell in love with her and I think she felt the same way about me. That started a relationship that lasted nearly a year.
Helen and Jered slept in our bedroom, fucking I assume, since they were sleeping in the same bed, while oncein a while Carol and I slept down stairs in the back bedroom (when we weren’t fucking that is).
Somehow, one night Helen, Jered and I ended upstairs all sleeping together, Helen in the middle withJered and I on either side of her. I don’t know if I instigated what happened next or if it started with Helen and Jered deciding to fuck, but however it started it ended up, mostly at my urging, where Helen was sucking Jered’s cock while I fucked her from behind. It wasn’t entirely satisfactory for either of them and it never happened again, but for me it was great.
It was sometime after that that we began to break up and I moved out and took up residence in my car and camping out in the mountains. For a short while thereafter, Carol and I spent much time together. There came a time when Carol decided it was time for me to get a divorce and move in permanently with her or go back to Helen. At that time I was unable to make the break because of my emotional problems so that was the last I saw of Carol.
So that was the time of mysex life. Due to my emotional problems I believed everyone but me was having unlimited sex and it nearly destroyed me. Beyond that I was unable to maintainan erection when I did have the opportunity for sex with someone. For somereason I had to come to know a woman for some time and try to indulge in sex over a period of time before I could achieve success. Not many women wanted to put up with that commitment. One the other hand one night stands were somethingI was not able to do either.
I’ve always wondered why men’s sex organs were considered so ugly that they have to be covered and why when they are uncovered no one wants to look at them. Frankly I like to look at men’s penis and balls. Not to compare with mine but to see them, to see the many differences just as I like to look at bare breasts. In the case of breasts there is a bit of intrigue and sexual arousal even if there is no hardon.
Yesterday I deliberately looked for a site on the internet that would be loaded with men’s penis’s and balls and I found one that I enjoyed browsing through. It’s amazing the different sizes, shapes and lengths. Some are circumcised and some not. This isl eading up to an adventure I had while I was in the military,
I met a man well known in the town who led the local philharmonic orchestra. To make a long story short he was a member of the gay comunity. Why he liked me I don’t know but we began to get very close. He had me over to his apartment a few times and gradually led me into his world. I don’t remember how it went but before long we were showering together. I don’t recall if we bathed each other or not, but I do remember we ended up in bed together naked. We touched and kissed and I was surprised to find there wasn’t much difference between kissing a man and kissing woman, skin felt the same, tongues felt the same, the only real difference was the prickliness of facial hair.
We never got to the point of masturbating each other but we did caress each other. The whole experience was actually great. I would probably have gone down on him and he me but we never got that far.That interlude was an eye opener for me though it never awakened any homosexuality in me. However in retrospect it did not cause to question my “manhood” either. All in all it was a pleasant experience that I have never rejected.
I am not homosexual but I believe I could indulge I bisexuality, under the right circumstances. As most men I wonder what it would be like to suck myself off. In my case it is not going to happen as I am not flexible enough. But that also makes me wonder what it would be like to suck another man’s cock and what it would be like to have him cum into my mouth. In truth I’d like to find out, (a penis in little more than along clitoris).
The only line I draw is anal sex. For me that is not at all interesting though a friend and his woman (can’tcall them boy and girl friend) have and she admitted she found it likeable. Oh well, to each his/her own.
The previous paragraph(s) sort of explain why I like the cuckold experience. I would even, I believe, like to be dominated by both my wife and a lover. Having to clean up after them, taste their combined juices turns me on, or at least the thought of it does. As an extension and as embarrassing as it might be I’d like to be required to service her lover whenever she was not present and he felt the need to enjoy a little mouth fucking, mine.
So back to the journal. When I got home from the health care center I got undressed and got the night gown out and put it on. Earlier I’d opened the curtains in the big bedroom figuring it would let enough light in that I’d be able to get some good shots of myself. After inspecting myself it became apparent the gown is not quite sheer enough that I’d be able to see my body under it so have, at least for now abandoned that idea.
Earlier, though I’d seen a curtain hanging up in the closet. I’d rejected it at first but since the night gown seems to be an unlikely prospect, decided to see how the curtain might work. It is one of those utterly transparent chintz curtains that let even sunlight in but do not allow someone to look into the room unless it was dark out and there were lights in the room. It is completely transparent so when I found a way to wear it there was no need for speculation, I can see everything through it. Later I’m going to photograph myself in it and put one or two images here on the journal
I want to find out how I can include video’s in this journal. I tried once before but was unsuccessful so I’ll have to read up on how that might be possible. So far not going to happen.
Had to stop and get dressed, drat, Stephanie called to tell me she was coming with her 101 YO grandmother so she could see the house. I stood around for a while, fixed some coffee, muddledvaround the house then finally saw a car across the street. Turned out to be Stephanie’s sister and her son wondering where Stephanie was. As it is she never showed up so I got undressed and got the curtain out and put it on then took some pictures. That session lasted until the battery finally ran down.
As soon as it gets charged I’ll add the new pictures to the Erotic file.
I tried jacking off last night but without success disappointing to say the least but there’s always another time.
The further I get into this journal the more I want, need to add pictures of me. I just wish there was someone willing to take them, a non-judgmental person who wouldn’t talk around, someone into this kind of kink also but not necessarily one who wanted to join me, although that wouldn’t be unacceptable. I used to think my naked body was something short of a work of art and since high school woefully aware of my odd shaped penis. I was always uncomfortable showering with other kids, afraid they would criticize me, laugh and make fun of how short I was and am. Kids can be cruel. I haven’t really gotten over it to this day even though I know I am not the only one with hypospadias. My upbringing hasn’t helped either.
Oh, and as to sex education there was none from my mother (even when I finally reached adulthood she was acutely embarrassed to talk about things sexual). And as for my father? His teachings amounted to telling me that when I felt the need to know about sex he’d set me up with a prostitute, that’s how he knew to explain sex to me.
Girls and women. I was brought up in a time when, and I was taught, women and girls were a species apart from men and boys. They were a mystery to me, I had no idea how to relate to them. Girls held all the cards and if they weren’t interested there was no way to get to them. I’m not explaining this very clearly at all. Girls and women wore skirts and blouses or dresses never slacks or pants. However it was acceptable for a girl or woman to wear a man’s shirt in place of a blouse. I accepted it but found it a bit odd.
The first time I remember ever seeing a woman in pants was when our neighbors took us up to their cabinin the mountains. Jean then wore slacks designed for women, there was no fly; they zipped up on the side rather than the front. The designs were distinctly different from mens pants always a softer more pliable and smother material nor did they have pockets like men’s pants just side pockets never in the rear since women carried purses. Blouses were also obviously designed with a woman’s shape in mind.
I found the change In women’s clothing styles a bit disconcerting and only slowly accepted the inevitable.
It still makes me uncomfortable that women can ware men’s clothing without being considered crossdressers. They have the choice of rough men’s styles with heavy (relatively speaking) shoes, coats and even on occasion men’s boxer shorts.
But let a man dress in any kind of women’s clothing, frilly, patterned, flowery, soft or thin clothing and right away they are branded cross dressers of worse yet, transvestites, worse in the cultural sense.
Why can’t a man wear blouses and skirts, sexy thong panties, panty hose, heels? After all we all have the same nerve endings and channels to the brain. Smooth, silky material feels the same to both sexes. There was a time when men wore extremely colorful, gaudy clothing and were just as fastidious about there manner of dress. Almost feminine in style except heaver then women’s clothing, well, sort of.
The main difference as I see it is cultural. True men’s and women’s minds don’t work quite the same but how much is cultural and how much genetic? When I was a kid and even later women just didn’t do “man’s work” any more than men, for the most, part didn’t do “woman’s work”. House husbands weren’t even about. Women didn’t work much except for secretarial or wait staff or something light. Now women are well into the old man’s world and doing just fine. I’ve known female roofers and auto mechanics to mention just two. Men are now secretaries and nurses so the lines are being blurred even more. So why not types of dress for men.
True there a few men who are wearing skirts but not many. Those who do are wearing skirts designed especially for men. Why not thong underwear, panties that is? I can’t think of a good reason. Or course bras don’t seem to me much of a style for men. A training branfor men like young girls? I suppose some day we may see something like that but still men don’t seem to have a good reason for bras except maybe for style reason.
I am not against such clothing and would probably buy into such styles for the reasons I mentioned above – the feel of soft, slinky material.
The same goes for tattoos and piercings. There was a time when only some far out people got tattoos,except it was acceptable for military people.
My wife hates tattoos. There is a woman on TV, the sales gal for the “American Pickers” who has some of the most fantastically beautiful tattoos on her shoulders and across her chest and down under her lowest blouse necklines. She has others but none as beautiful as that one. Mywife dislikes her for that reason, the tattoos. The fact she seems a very friendly, happy, married woman is completely lost on my wife. I have never,ever seem as an appealing, beautiful tattoo ever on anyone.
How about piercings? There was a day when few women had pierced ears. Most earrings were the clamp on type but little by little pierced ears became the norm. They have the advantage of ease of attaching and removing and there is little fear that they will be lost,fall off and not noticed. But that was pretty much the type of piercing anyone got. Now even little girls four or five are having their ears pierced, it has become the norm.
I think it was in the late60’s or early 70’s that men began to have their ears pierced for removable diamond studs. Now piercings have become the norm. eyebrows, cheeks, septum, lip, tongue, belly button are not at all uncommon. Nipple rings are not unusual though less so on men (I don’t find them particularly appealing). Genital piercings are becoming more common and as far as I’m concerned a definite turn on discrete genital piercings, that is a few strategically place are visually appealing and can be of utilitarian value (leashes and weights come to mind) but too many are only for those who make money showing them off. A clitoris or clitoris hood ring appeal to me visually and sexually as do inner or outer libia piercings as longas there aren’t too many.
I myself as stated earlier would like to have a foreskin ring. Again as long as it is kept within reason I see no reason not to have penile and scrotum piercings. How one decorates oneself is of no concern of mine be it scarification, tattoos, brands or whatever. Those things are not for me. I think nipple decorations are absolutely erotic not to mention pretty decorations.
I guess I’ve gotten a little carried away here all because I want a foreskin ring.
An interesting idea seems too ccur in cuckolding stories but not necessarily just cuckold stories it occurs also in filmdom or famine domination stories. What would happen if a man were given/injected with estrogen? Would he develop breasts and to what degree if he did? Could they be developed to the point they were indistinguishable from true breasts? Would he loose the ability to get an erection and have an orgasm.Would his skin smooth out and soften his muscle mass?
I’d like to think it would be possible given other hormones he may even begin to lactate. That may be the true shemale though probably without a vagina. Would he begin to loose interestin women and become in essence a female whose interest shift to males?
I’ve always wondered what it feels like to be female and what the attraction males have to them.
I have to get ready for bed and maybe will pursue this idea tomorrow though maybe not.
I have my lovely nitie on again and will sleep in it. If things go as expected I will wear it every night until my wife comes home. Then I will have to, reluctantly, give it up.It feels so nice I even hate to even think I’ll have to put it away for good.
Well, off to brush my teeth and wash my cock and balls before crawling into bed.
0 Comments On This Entry
My sex Journal Monday 4/22/2013 0516hrs
My sex Journal Tues 4/22/2013 0451hrs
My sex Journal Wednesday 4/24/2013 0545hrs
My sex Journal Friday 4/26/2013 0450hrs
My sex Journal Saturday 4/27/2013 0702hrs
My sex Journal Sunday, 5/5/2013, 0908hrs
My sex Journal Monday 5/6/2013 0626hrs
My sex Journal Tuesday 5/7/2013 0609hrs
My sex journal Wednesday 5/8/2013 0523hrs