Growing up I was not the bell of the ball. I am the friend the "mom" of the group. Wasn't asked out on dates and was last one to know if there was a party. Which I didn't think much of because I was focused on school. But what happens once what you have achieved your goal? You look around and take stock. I realized how much I had missed out on. Being the crazy teen. The horny teen (well I was that but by myself ). Never got have fun and mess around with a guy that was learning too. Now I am look around that ever one is on page 50 and your just getting started. So now you get this 27 women trying to swim with the big fish. And I feel like I am drowning.
I am now trying to find my footing but I still don't know if I am doing this dating thing right or wrong. Yes I know there not a guide book but I am a thinker (maybe thats one of problems). Now all my experience with dating is only from Online dating sites. I wonder if I should fess up on my inexperience, keep to myself, play dum, or something else. Then at the end of the date do you kiss or not. I tend to just mindless chatter. My oddballness usually scare away the ones I am interested in and the ones that I am not I try to see how things pan out but then usually they are more into me then I am into them so I break it off because I don't want to lead them on. Then I wonder if I am just being too picky, overthinking, or something I haven't thought of.
That is where I am at now. If you have made it this far with my rambling thanks for reading Just kinda had to put my thoughts into words and thanks for listening