Posted by jazzyteach65 , Tue Aug 10, 2010 09:07 PM
Yesterday I finally came to understand why disenfranchised people open fire on public health institutions, crash private planes into IRS building and fuck up courthouses . I don't condone it, but I understand why they would do it. I lost my mind yesterday. Big-time. Even though I am done with pharma docs, I still need a back-up plan in case the natural healing doesn't work. After finding out that my final attempt to extend my insurance for more treatment was denied, I broke down and cried. Not just for me, but for all the faces of despair and agony I have seen in the orthopedic clinic, physical therapy, the chiropractor and the hospital. Faces of those with injuries far worse than mine, that have a family to support and are about to get denied. They will never get sufficient treatment, because of thier financial status or thier insurance limitations. I even overheard a woman talking about how her brother had a ruptured spleen, but was told by the doctors that it was just indigestion, all because he was uninsured.
Why is there insurance to begin with? Not only is it a form of gambling, but it's just unethical. All wounded and ill people should be treated equally, not according
to thier insurance. There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with social medicine. I don't get why folks bitch about it. To answer my own question; it's all about money. It costs $6 k to get a proper buriel after you die now. Let me get this straight; in this country, if I die, my family, who had no hand in my death and are in a state of mourning have to pay for my death? It costs money to die? WTF? Birth costs money, so we are charged from the day we are born to the day we die. That's fucked-up.
All kinds of emotions started running through me. All kinds of questions started to arise. Anger. Frustration. Concern. Hate. What happens if my shoulder never gets better? What will happen to all those faces when they get told that their coverage has been denied? Is this a sign? Why is this country so fucked-up and unjust? I cried all the way home, and I rarely cry. So frustrated, I went to the store, bought a case of beer and drank about five 40-ounces. I never drink, NEVER. I had just had it with the day, it was too bad, I wanted to forget it all. I know getting drunk isn't the right answer, nor will it help anything, but I needed a distraction to take my mind off of the suffering, so I got piss-drunk.
I think if Michelle can't help fix my arm completely withy the oils, stretches, breaking the muscle ect, I will retire from music altogether. This is keeping me from one of the biggest facts of my life, one that I may need to replace. I work my ass off studying, practicing and teaching and this is the punishment I get?
2 Comments On This Entry
- Miss_C. on OMFG I knew it!!!!!
- Miss_C. on No pun intended
- Miss_C. on physical setback
- Miss_C. on Meditations on my 29th.
- Miss_C. on gunshots
- Miss_C. on emotional channeling
- Miss_C. on I'd have fucked it up if it weren't for SF
- Miss_C. on that one
- Miss_C. on What a brilliant time
- jazzyteach64 on I'd have fucked it up if it weren't for SF