Womans Point of View

[houmale69]

Lately I have noticed that my desire for sexual adventures and breaking out of the norm are taking over me. I no longer stand to do the "same old, same old" and I am desiring more fun and adventure in the bedroom.

The problem is my wife of 8 years is not in to sex like me. I look at my sex life with her, very much like a hobby. Something fun that we can do together, and overtime it evolves and changes. She on the other hand just goes with the flow and doesn't place that importance on it. I am at the point where something has to give, I have desires and fantasies that I don't want to put on the back burner. And when I talk to her, I am just a freak. Is this why men in marriages go a stray?

[gail]

Do you have kids? Could she be so overwhelmed with childcare/the house/etc that sex is so low on her list that it doesn't get much attention? This is how I was when my son was small. If so, maybe you could do something to take some of the burden off of her shoulders.

If kids aren't the issue, maybe it would help her to get away, even if only for a night. Something to break up the routine.

I'm going through some of the same issues with my husband - I want more and he's comfortable with where we are. I'm not at the breaking point yet and luckily he's started to come around and break out of his routine a little bit. I'm learning that you can teach an old dog new tricks!

[Kinky_honey_77]

Has she always been less adventurous with sex? If she was always like this chances are she will stay more or less the same...if she used to be more daring and exciting then it could just be she is also bored in a way but instead of trying to spice it up other daily stuff is just taking all her energy where she isn't even interested in trying to put more energy into sex. I don't think people should stray cause their sex life is boring, if it's that important to someone then maybe they should re-evaluate the whole relationship and decide if they can stay in a boring sexual relationship or end the relationship altogether. Straying only creates more heart ache in the end.

[Gregorio]

You are just beginning to learn about women. They run hot and cold...sometimes for no reason at all...and when you think you found one that's different....surprise!. You need lots of patience...and to realize that a woman does not "ramp up" as fast as you do. You can get horny just looking at a woman, most woman do not respond that fast...... which means the art of making love involves more than just getting off....it takes time and learning to read signals. You need to appeal to them on their level. Point is that you look at her and your turned on. She can get more interested in romance by watching you help out around the house...like dishes, vacuuming etc. I know...it's weird. She says to herself , "what a great guy!" Sometime a nice card, bouquet of flowers, a quiet dinner at a nice restaurant remind her that she has got quite a man. Other times simply talking with her quietly is all you need. Never, ever discuss problems in the bedroom...that should be a safe place. The high cost of straying should be enough to make you want to work it out, whatever it takes.
Your thoughts should be SATISFYING HER, not you and not just sexually.