http://www.sexforums.com/index.php?app=blog Community Blog List Syndication Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:41:57 +0000 phooqmedia@googlemail.com (Sex Forums) IP.Blog 60
My mother took me to see the teacher and ask why I was in back. the teacher told her I was rather slow and mom ask why she thought that. The teacher said he just sleeps in reading.

Mom had her hand her an adult book off of her desk and gave it to me and told me to read for her witch I did. I had taught myself to read when I was three and by six was reading better then a lot of high school kids.

Well when they find out your smart they start to test you witch they did. My IQ always came out around 165.
I didn't go to the second or third grade for reasons that are still not clear to me but three years later I went into the forth grade. I loved it. By this time we had moved outside of a little town of Dalton Indiana.

Dalton had a three room school and eight grades so I was in my eliment. There was always something going on. The teachers would teach me as fast as I could learn and I loved school. It was the place where I felt safest in this world.

Then I went to high school in Hagerstown Indiana. It was torture. They were teaching the dumbest kid in the class and I was bored to death. I would rather be in jail then another day in that school. Nothing was taught in the year and a half that I had not known from the sixth grade except some Spanish taught by a football coach who had never met a Mexican or Spaniard.

As soon as I was old enough I quit and soon after went in the navy. I had a lot of fun and wanted to do "20" but after 10 years my drinking was getting real bad and I had came close to getting kicked out a time or two so I got out..

Then came the jails and flop houses. By the time I got sober I had enough brain damage that I was not that smart kid I once was. I have recovered a lot and I'm doing OK. I went to school a few years ago where they did an IQ and it came out 136. Ain't that something? I drank so much I knocked 30 points off my IQ! Enough for tonight.

Pictures of my 3 room school and the old farm house.]]> Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:24:00 +0000 I am so excited right now!

I'm going to see my fiancee tomorrow night after not being able to see him since Valentine's Day weekend. We had phone sex recently, and it was really satisfying - more satisfying for me than masturbating "alone." Anyway, I can't wait to see him tomorrow night, and he asked me (right after we had finished having phone sex) to bring with me our cock ring dildo (which he was instructing me to use on myself while we were having phone sex), so I'm anticipating some DP this weekend.

One of the reasons I'm so excited is I typically take toys with me that we rarely end up using while I'm there, and I feel a little bit disappointed that we didn't get around to using anything I brought, and I have to wonder, "Why did I bother to pack this stuff?" Well, this time he asked me specifically to bring a toy, so I'm taking that as an almost guarantee that we'll be using it.

So tonight - a little while ago - I texted him a picture of my pussy that I took with my cell phone, and then I texted him, "Pleasant dreams...about my pussy." (I wanted to get him excited about this weekend because a couple of days ago I trimmed up my "downtown bonanza," and I made everything nice and smooth and just left a landing strip where it'll be out of his way when he goes down on me this weekend.) He texted me back, "Can't wait!" AND - he actually - for the very first time ever in the history of our relationship - texted me a picture of his hard cock! He has never texted me a sexual picture before! We've had text sex, and he has written sexual things, but I've never gotten an actual picture before!!

I was so excited when I saw the picture that I swear I must have just gushed - and there you have it. Instant wet pussy. Just add picture.

The picture is him lying on his back on his bed, and he aimed his cell phone camera down toward his feet and took the picture. The lighting is great, I can see everything really well, and his cock is hard and dead center in the picture, sticking straight up in the air, hehehehe...

I am just so pleased and giddy over this picture.

The other reason I'm so excited is this is a major step for him. I'm really hoping that this one picture eventually leads to him finally making me a solo video of himself. Maybe he'll even find his inner author and write me an erotic story. I have hope after all!!!

Should I acknowledge that sending me a picture is a big deal? I don't want to make him feel weird or embarrassed about it, but I want to let him know that I'm this excited and that it's a HUGE turn-on for me. Would it be too much to say to him something like, "Baby, I feel like it took a lot to send me that hot picture of you, but it turned me on so much that you opened up to me like that, and I would love to see more of that type of picture of you"?

I suggested phone sex ("So I know you're tired...but are you hard right now?"), but he said that he had to get to bed. (But it was worth a shot.) He needs to be awake at some crazy hour of the morning for work. But don't think for one second that that means I won't be getting off before I go to bed tonight!!!]]> Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:54:00 +0000
The last few posts and many of my previous posts have the common thread of intimacy. Intimacy for me means unreserved sharing of the pleasure that my wife’s sexuality gives to me and to her. It is about the closeness of our bodies and minds as we experience intense sexual satisfaction. It’s about the exquisite sensation of my penis enveloped and caressed by her vagina. It is the privilege of witnessing her body change with her arousal, and the loss of her modesty as her arousal elevates, peaks and releases in orgasm.

The loss of her modesty in arousal and orgasm is a result of her trust in me; that trust allows her to free herself of her inhibitions and experience the unrestrained ecstasy that comes from a pussy wrenching orgasm. Lastly it is the fact that I am causing her to experience the ecstasy of sexual release and I am witnessing her expression of that uninhibited joy.

Last night was a very deep and intimate evening for both of us. I should say that it was fait accompli when we got up yesterday morning that sex was on the agenda for last night. I awoke yesterday at about 5 AM, with a steely erection. I rolled up to her back (she was on her side) and spooned against her pressing my hardened cock against her. I slid one arm underneath her and the other over the top of her and slid my hands under her tee shirt to fondle and hold her breasts in my hands as she slept. My cock was aching for this contact with her. I knew that I was primed for several dry orgasms. I nestled my erection in her ass crack and hugged her from behind. She laid her hands over mine as I gently caressed her breasts. In the semi consciousness of her sleep she sighed and skooched back against my chest.

I lay perfectly still behind her and cleared my head with some cleansing breaths. I then began to meditate and breathe deeply and regularly. I then focused my attention on all the sensations that I could feel all over my body and eventually zeroed in on my cock, as it was settled in the warm crease of her ass.

I focused on the warmth of her body and the fact that it was her rear that was caressing my cock. I focused my thought on the smoothness of the skin between her cheeks and the warmth and weight of her breasts in my hands. I then expanded my attention to the emotional satisfaction of the embrace I was giving her and the feeling of her body in my arms. I could feel her nipples stiffening in my palms.

Slowly I could feel the arousal building inside me and very gently I tensed up and contracted internally. Quickly the arousal intensified and spread just as a fire grows. Soon my penis was throbbing and twitching and the arousal spread to it. Seconds later my perineum and anus began to contract and release rhythmically and I was climbing the ladder to orgasm.

The sensation I was having was exactly the same as the feeling immediately before ejaculation, but I had to relax and will the sexual energy away from my penis to keep from ejaculating. This takes a lot of concentration. I focused my breathing and the sensations in my penis. I willed my body to transfer these sensations to my prostate. Soon I could feel the orgasmic tension shift from my penis to deep inside my anus. Then the first wave began. I evoked a mental image of rising surf with rolling waves crashing on a beach and I projected my mind and body to ride a wave as it rolled in. I felt the first wave and the exquisite delight that it brought as it washed through me. As it washed through me I envisioned it frothing around my prostate causing it to tingle, tense up and contract. I breathed deeply as the contraction squeezed ecstatic sensation form deep inside me. My insides began to spasm, contract and release ending the contraction with a divine orgasmic crescendo. My penis was erect but just twitched mildly as the orgasm bore deeply into me.

Maintaining my breathing I sustained my relaxed state, focusing my feelings on my penis and prostate the indescribable joy that was burning inside of me. Soon both my penis and the stiffening gland deep inside of me began the familiar sparkling – tingling sensation that told me another wave was building. Soon it rose, came up on me and washed me along with it. I rode it just as I did the first one to an exquisite contraction and pulsing of my inner and outer sex organs. The precum was oozing out of me in a stream, lubricating her butt crease, adding to the sensual feeling that I was experiencing.

Each orgasmic crescendo lasted almost five minutes with an ecstatic rise to contraction of five to ten minutes and five minutes or so of rest in between waves. This cycle repeated from 5 AM to almost 6:30 AM. Somewhere in the midst of the chain of orgasms, she stirred in her sleep; she knew exactly what was happening. She held my hand tightly and lay there semi awake, enjoying vicariously the erotic effect that her warm bum was having on me. After ten or twelve sets of dry orgasms my undercarriage was starting to ache from the almost constant tensing and contracting that accompanied each orgasm during the 90 minutes. I rolled over on my back, mentally and physically fatigued. She rolled over shifted her leg over the top of me and kissed me.

Dry orgasms have all the feelings and sensations of a wet orgasm minus the cum. Each one yields that pulsing pumping sensation but there is no consequent ejaculation, just a launch into another orgasm, and another, and so on. Because they don’t resolve the sexual tension of each orgasm with an ejaculation their feeling intensifies as they pile on top of each other. The last two are three in a set of ten will result in me losing all sense of time and place their pleasure is so intense. Because these dry orgasms yield no cum, they don’t grant me the satisfied relieved feeling that accompanies ejaculation. To the contrary, they leave me hornier than when I started.

So as I lay there at 6:30 AM with my wife kissing me; we had two options. We could do a quickie then or we could wait until later that night. I hate quickies and she knows it. So I kissed her temple one last time and cupped her vulva in my palm and I said …lets continue this tonight. She kissed me back and giggled softly.

By late afternoon my arousal was honed to a razor thin edge. The erotic tension inside of me was wound like a spring in a clock. My penis was throbbing and hyper sensitive, it kept cycling in and out of full erection all by itself all day long. As I drove in the driveway that night I was envisioning the probable sexual scenarios that I could play out that evening. I choreographed the things that I wanted to do with her.

I gave her a deep kiss and a firm hug when I walked in the door. She reciprocated. It felt good to hold her and press my lips to hers. We were midway through the foreplay and we were still 3 hours from sex. My cock was stiff and aching for her.

We had a very nice dinner and sat on the couch afterwards with our obligatory coffee cups in hand watching the news. After the news we each retreated to our computers for an hour or two. At Nine PM I went into her studio and said I was going to take a shower. Over the years we have come to understand that that is a subtle way of saying I am preparing myself for you be on alert and come to bed.

As I stepped out of the shower to shave, she went in after me. I finished in the bathroom, put on my robe and went downstairs to button up the house for the evening. I organized my files for work in the morning and went back upstairs. By the time I went in the bed room she had turned off the lights and lit several candles and a favorite CD of ours was playing. She was in bed naked under a sheet waiting for me. I took off my robe to reveal my erect penis throbbing for her. I had been in this aroused state most of the day; the prospect of ejaculatory relief redoubled the hardness of my cock.

It is worth noting that being on 9 medications daily for cardiac health, two of which are documented to cause erectile dysfunction. The fact that I am having sex a minimum of two times per week fully erect with no Viagra says something about the power of the MMO’s, Kundalini Yoga and Zen Meditation on my physical sexuality and erectile vigor. I was erect at my full ten inches, hard as steel and longing to feel the inside of her sexy and beautiful vagina.

I walked up to the bed and sat on the edge of it, leaned over and kissed her. It was a long hard kiss. It expressed the longing for sexual intimacy that I felt for her all day and the emotional need that I felt to caress her and be inside her. I needed to show her how much I cared for her and how important what we were about to do was to me. The immersion of my penis in her is a very spiritual thing for us. It is a reaffirmation of our commitment to each other.

I pulled back the sheet to reveal her naked body to my eyes. Unabashedly nude she laid there, exposed to my gaze. She looked up at my face as my eyes relished every inch of her naked form. She reached over and held by hand as my eyes caressed her right breast and then her left one, finishing the visual embrace with attention to each of her nipples; they were wrinkling and hardening partly from the cool air they felt and partly from the intensity of my gaze. My eyes drifted down over the soft swell of her tummy. I took my free hand and placed it palm side down on her tummy, just above her pubic bone.

I could feel her pulse there in the wonderful miracle of nature that lay deep in her tummy under my hand. Under my hand was where our children came from. On those three occasions the thickened liquid of my passion was deposited inside her in an embrace of intense passion. My contribution to the creation of our children’s lives. She then held my sexual cocktail inside of her and combined it with her own contribution and produced our children. It all happened right there directly under my hand, many years earlier. That place was still there and still waiting for my sexual deposit, but this time there would be no children, just a warm liquid expression of my love for her, given with passion and intense erotic need and held in deep love for me.

I ran my hand up over her belly button and across the soft warmth of her right breast, up her chest to her neck and up the side of her face. I leaned down to her mouth again and reaffirmed what the kiss earlier said. This time however I focused my mind on her lips, they were slightly parted waiting for the touch of my lips. Ever so slowly and lightly I joined my lips to hers. I savored the warmth of them and the softness of them and the sweetness of her breath. I got lost in the kiss that we shared. I felt her tensing her lips and pressing them to my own, communicating to my own body with out words in a language that is as old as mankind that she was mine and she longed for no one else at this moment but me. Her lips said to me that she was laying there waiting for me, a vessel waiting to feel the firmness of my hardened cock stimulating the tender flesh of her vagina until it pried divine sensation from her.

We parted lips and I stood up and got onto the bed on my knees. I put my hands on her knees and parted her legs. I then knelt in between her thighs my body fully upright except for my knees which were bent. This put my body at ¾ of its full height before her. My erect penis was hovering inches above her vagina. We have fucked thousands of times, literally. In post coital banter she has told me many times how amazed she is that she can take the full length of me in her vagina; she has told me that not only do I fit but that the fullness that I give her adds to the intensity of her response.

So there I knelt before her, with my cock hardened and ready to pierce her. Her eyes were fixed on my cock and the glistening stream that was running out of the hole at its tip. She watched in fascination as the stream transformed into a thick drop that hung to the tip refusing to fall onto the bed or her. She then shifted her gaze up to me face and looked at my face and said: “come into me I need you now, don’t wait any longer”

I smiled and put my hands behind each of her knees and lifted her legs so that they were parted and bent. Then I took both of our pillows and placed them under her tush. This raised her vulva off of the bed and put it just about level with my extended penis. The wetted tip of my cock was only inches from her pussy.

I now had an unobstructed viewed of her aroused vagina; it looked like a blushing pink delicate lily flower. It was in full bloom now; it blossomed from the warm sunlight of the erotic thoughts she had been harboring all day. Her inner lips, her clit and the mouth of her vagina had a hue of musky purple - red, flushed with the blood of her arousal. Her inner lips were glistening with moisture. The mouth of her vagina was fiery red and dilated, revealing her womanly canal which in its yawning – gaping openness hinted at the warm wet mystery inside of her. Her opening was coated in the pearly sap of her arousal.

I leaned forward so that the tip of my penis was at the yawning mouth of her vagina. But I didn’t enter her yet. Instead I grasped my penis in my hands and placed the slit at the tip of my cock up against her clit. I then squeezed my penis expressing a gush of precum on to her clit and painted her clit with my juice. It dribbled down onto her inner lips and the creases leading to her canal. I then lightly ran the tip of my penis all around the most sensitive parts of her vaginal opening. I spread my juice all over her in a series of motions that looked like I was writing a love poem with my cock, describing my passion for her on her sex with my indelible pre cum.

The stimulation of the smooth lubricated tip of my cock on her clit caused it to erect further and peer out from its hood. The stimulation was also making her own juices run. The pearlescent drops were now drooling from her vagina, running down her perineum over her asshole on onto the sheets. There was no doubt she was ready for me.

I put the tip of my penis at her opening and pushed forward. She was so wet and so aroused that I could’ve slid into her abruptly and firmly and commenced to thrust into her until she screamed in release. But I held back. I resisted the urge to plunge into her, instead I inched into her incrementally, savoring the sensation. I watched my engorged purple cock head disappear inside her, then the middle part of my shaft and eventually the entire 10 inches of me. I was buried in the warm and soft recesses of her vagina. She was so hot inside it took me by surprise. I held perfectly still and savored the sweet gentleness of her interior and the wet heat of her depths.

My length and girth filled her sufficiently to cause her to shudder and jerk slightly as I savored her.. I was still kneeling above her. This position gave me the benefit of feeling the warm, soft, supple caress of her vagina around my hot drooling cock but I also had access to her body with my hands. I took full advantage of the situation and reached up to her breasts and cupped them in my hands leaving her soft pink nipples exposed in the space between my thumb and index finger. I then closed the space and pinched her erect nipples in the soft skin at the base of my thumbs and my palms. She quivered in response. I rolled her nipples between my fingers causing them to wrinkle, harden and darken. I lowered my lips to her right nipple and drew it into my mouth and sucked hard on it, massaging the underside of her areola with my tongue. She inhaled sharply.

With my mouth suckling her nipple my hand slid down to her crotch, seeking out her clitoris. With my penis deep into her vagina, and my mouth locked on her nipple my finger sought out and discovered her erected clit. It was lubricated with the slimy cocktail of our combined juices. I began to tickle it and tease her tender nub savoring its slippery wet rigidity under my finger. The pressure of my finger and the slipperiness of her tender flesh edged her closer to the abyss. The combination of sensations almost overwhelmed her. As I continued to stroke her wetted clit and push against her pubic bone with my own pubic bone I was pressing the tip of my cock against the depth of her vagina. She has told me several times that only when she is extremely aroused that the feeling of my soft cockhead against her cervix feels exquisite. This was one of the times when it felt good, very good.

I then pushed her over the edge in to the abyss of orgasmic release by gently taking her nipple between my teeth and pulling on it softly. That did it. She groaned and tensed and her tummy began to quiver. She grabbed the back of my head and pressed my face against her breast and began to verbalize a string of raw erotic exclamations that trailed off into grunts as the orgasm gripped her vagina and pelvic region and squeezed it. The intensity of the orgasm made her push her pelvis up towards me in a series of desperate almost spastic thrusts. I could feel her vaginal walls contracting and releasing on my penis. She had four or five spasms that ended with her laying spent in post orgasmic bliss.

I got back up and pulled out of her; I was coated with her cum. I was still fully erect, my shaft was cherry red from being squeezed and my cockhead was musky purple and glistening with her cum. I pulled the pillows out from underneath her and threw them aside.

I then laid next to her and held her in my arms; kissing her forehead and neck. She lay in my arms in hazy orgasmic bliss. I continued to kiss her working down her neck to her nipples to her breasts. I then got on my hands and knees and kissed the soft warm skin underneath her breasts. I continue down to her belly button licking its interior as I passed by. I continued down, she tensed her tummy knowing what was coming. I lowered my lips to her juicy nether lips and I licked her sweet cum from them. I then got back to my position between her legs and lay down on my stomach with my lips totally engulfing her clit and the top of her vagina. I laid my tongue over her clit and slowly massaged underneath the glans until I could feel it stiffening on my tongue. She gasped and tensed her stomach.

As soon as I felt her pubis pressing against my chin I knew that she was ready for round two.

I laid her legs apart and fully extended them on the bed. I then placed my cock at the opening of her vagina and simply lay on top on her, sinking my penis fully into her well juiced pussy as I lay down. My full weight was on her except for my upper body which I supported on my elbows so she could breathe comfortably.

The important thing in this is that my full weight needs to press down on her lower body and her genitals. She needs to feel the pressure and weight on me fully on her and my penis fully inside of her. She has told me that it is the feeling of being immobilized in a non violent way and the feeling of my cock pressing hard against her insides and the feeling of helplessness that is such a turn on. I weight 240 lbs and she is barely 130, so as I lay on her she is indeed immobilized.

She was laid underneath me and I began the process that would lead up to a very deep 2nd orgasm for her. I began to softly kiss the nape of her neck and her ear lobes. I tongued her ear and kissed her temple. I then worked around to her mouth and kissed her passionately. I gave her kisses that seemed as if my life depended on them. At the same time I pressed my penis down into her. I didn’t move a lot just pressure down into her. I felt the pulse inside her vagina as I pushed own on her hard and kissed her softly and passionately. The arousal built in her to the point that she could not sustain the kiss and get enough air. She was panting and pressing her immobilized abdomen up against me. I shifted my kisses back to the nape of her neck taking nibbles along the way.

Her chest was heaving as the arousal was growing in her. She wrapped her legs around me and wrapped her arms round me. She was totally coiled around me, there was now some doubt as to who had immobilized who. As her passion grew her coil on me with arms and legs tightened. I was surrounded by her on the outside and on the inside. With the limited movement that she had she began to try to milk my penis by squeezing it and pulling on it with her vagina. She was desperate to thrust her pelvis to make herself cum.

My mind was clouded over in the heat of erotic passion, but in the fringe of rational thought that I was maintaining I thought about this act of being inside of her. The bond that we share and the passion that she has for me causes her to want to take me inside of her body, to caress me, hold me and coax me into orgasm so I will discharge my thicken liquid into her while she holds me lovingly. The passion that she feels as she holds me inside her body is a physical statement of the trust, love and deep passion that she has for me. I appreciate the depth of that expression as I am relishing the divine feelings of the warm caress of her vagina on my penis.

We rolled onto our sides with me still locked in the full body embrace of her arms and legs. She had the movement of her hips now and she could thrust her pelvis. She began to pull on my penis by tensing her vagina and pulling back, effectively milking me. Rhythmically she pushed up against me with her abdomen and pulled hard on my cock holding onto it and squeezing as she pulled. I gasped at the sensation. Desperately I tried to hold back my cum to make this feeling last but then it happened.

Her grip around me became so desperate and hard that I knew her orgasm was imminent. She grasped the back of my head and held my face to the nape of her neck as she thrust her pelvis repeatedly against me as the orgasm pushed her vagina into an exquisite crescendo of sensation. She gasped and clamped on my penis as each spasm gripped her.

When she was done I feverishly moved my lips to hers and kissed her hard, tonguing her mouth in passion as I did. That opened my gates.

I felt the release deep inside of me. Twenty four hours of pent up lust and passion collected deep inside of me. Just as if it was a thunderstorm it roiled and rumbled inside of me. The trembling erotic tension in me drew the liquid essence from my balls, my soul and the very core of me and mixed together in a steaming cocktail. The contraction that I felt deep inside me was my prostate gathering my sex chowder and preparing to deliver it deep into her vagina in several glorious eruptions.

The first contraction hit and I could feel the wad of my steaming junk travel along the channels inside of me. It shot out of me in a thick hot rope that coated the inside of her pussy. As soon as the first pulse of cum was deposited, I felt the next one welling up and preparing to be expulsed. The second rope was forced out creating such exquisite sensation as it tore through my penis I thought I might faint. Then quickly before I could gather my wits a third and forth expulsion pumped the steaming juice of my passion deep into her.

I was spent. . I just gave her everything I had. I filled her vagina with as much cum as I was able to produce. I collected my very essence, the liquid expression of my body and soul and I squirted it deep in her vagina; it sat in her vagina in a steaming hot puddle. She laid there in post coital haze, kissing me and embracing me and savoring the feeling of my softening penis inside her quivering pussy.

I felt a profound peace settle over me. I was in the arms of the woman I loved. We have shared this intimate experience for the thousandth time. Yet every time is unique and every time draws me closer to her.

I am lucky that she savors every chance that we have to make love. I am lucky that she loves me enough to let down her inhibitions with me and she lets me witness her unrestrained ecstasy. I am thankful that I am her erotic inspiration; but most of all I am grateful that I can relish the sensual and erotic mystery of her femininity with her.]]> Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:04:00 +0000 can be. Not as bad as some but a lot more then most.

Then I came down with a terrible disease. A disease that left me crippled

for the next twenty years. The name of that disease is self pity. That and the
related illnesses that go with it. Self centeredness, selfishness and
these bring on low self esteem and an over sized ego.

As I look back I see that those diseases did me far more harm then the

abuse ever did. The abuse was over with in a few years but the disease carried

on well into my forties. It put me in jails,hospitals and dangerous places. It dam near
killed me several times.

This disease was self inflicted. I didn't catch it from mom or dad. It didn't come from unprotected sex. It came from my unwillingness to take responsibility for my own life.

It is much easier to blame others for your unhappiness then it is to face your challenges
and go on. But the results are not as rewording.
Sad to say I find I'm still self centered. But at least today I'm not crippled by it.]]> Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:15:00 +0000 Now Peralta's was about as low as you could get in phoenix at that time. $5 a week rent and people from the slums felt sorry for us as they went by on the bus.
Mr Peralta came around to collect the rent each week and I think we were the only ones who had it every week. As he was leaving he'd always say the same thing"No children, no pets" Why I remember this is because our cat would be rubbing on his legg the whole time.
Ever since then I have known if you have cash in hand you can get away with the small things in life.]]> Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:54:00 +0000 from almost sixty years ago.
It was the spring I turned thirteen. My mom and dad were riding in the
car and hit a bump. My mother's bowl twisted and before they could get
to the hospital it burst filling the abdominal cavity. This was almost
always fatal in those days and serious today. She was in the hospital
for over a month and for three weeks of that month they didn't have much
hope.

One evening I was working in the garden as it got dark. I had the
rows dug so all I had to do was stick the sweet corn in the ground so I
was working after dark. My father pulled the tractor up to the edge of
the field and walked up to the house.

The full moon had just risen and as he walked between me and the moon he was singing. My mothers middle name was Carolina and he was singing Carolina Moon. He had a wonderful voice witch was a surprise because I had never heard him sing before.

I set there on the ground and let him pass for I knew if he knew I was
there it would embarrass him. I never heard him sing again.

It's funny I should remember that wonderful night so long ago when I found out my
father had a wonderful voice and loved my mother.]]> Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:49:00 +0000 Let me tell you about the Ace O Hearts bar. It was located on the Santa Fe strip in Longbeach. Far from the best part of town. Just up from the piers the er...clientele was a rather rough crowd. Truth is at that time I fit in well there. Hell I had a guy there ask me to kill his wife once. They were from India and she was acting too much like an American to suit him. I turned him down, not for any moral reason but because he was not willing to pay near enough.
Any way back to my story.
We had been drinking for a while and there was a nut at the end of the bar shouting and talking to himself, not unusual at this joint. He walked out and after a bit we decided to go to another joint down the street.
As we started out the door the first guy out jumped back in and said "Look out he's got a knife!" The guy behind him was talking and didn't hear him so he walked out. I went out and the nut had him down and was stabing him. Everyone else came out gawking. I grabbed the nut by the arm that was swinging the knife and twisted it up behind his back. The guy that was stabbed jumped up and ran back in the bar and everyone else went with him and left me holding a nut with a knife!
I'm telling him to let go of the knife and he is jumping around trying to get away. I tell him if he drops the knife I'll let him go and he is still jumping around. Finally he drops the knife and I kick it over under some bushes.
I let go and he takes off. I go back in the bar and every one else is setting drinking beer as if nothing has happened. After a bit one guys wife shows up with a car and they drive the guy who was stabbed off to get some stitches. We forgot we were leaving and set there drinking. No one even ask what I did with the guy with the knife.]]> Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:25:00 +0000 It was a weekday which is why I didn't understand the text from my boyfriend Mike telling me that he was having his friend Owen over for dinner and drinks tonight. When I texted back reminding him that he has work in the morning, he replied back that he knew that but it was a big game and they had both put some money down on it and wanted to watch it at our place on the big screen. Great. I thought to myself. There goes a quiet night in the bath with the new aromatherapy kit I bought the other day.

Around 6pm or so, they both came rushing through the door, turning the tv on before even acknowledging me standing there. I had spent the last couple of hours setting up the living room with some snacks and put the beers on ice. I was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a short tank top that showed just a little bit of my stomach.

Mike dove into the snacks I made, and was munching his way through them, without even thanking me for going through the trouble of making chicken wings and shrimp skewers from scratch. Owen, on the other hand, looked over at me with a huge grin after eating one of the wings and said, "Damn these are the best wings I've ever had."

I had always thought Owen was very handsome. But for the first time, I noticed how funny and charming he was. All through the game, if I didn't understand something he would explain it to me, while Mike just waved me away like I was a fly. I found myself reaching for a beer and then another and was soon laughing at all of Owen's jokes, and even putting my hand on his shoulder or forearm. At one point, I felt his hand resting on my lower back and reach underneath my shirt to touch the bare skin just above the waistband of my jeans and my whole body responded by shivering with pleasure. I could tell by the way he ran his fingers lightly on my skin that he would be wonderful in bed. Thinking of those hands on my body and that mouth on mine made me warm and flushed and I felt a familiar tingle in my pussy.

We continued to flirt and talk as Mike yakked away to the television and I wasn't sure how long I could sit next to this gorgeous man and act like nothing was happening. I was so turned on that I could feel my nipples hard through the little bra I was wearing and wondered if he could see them sticking out on my thin t shirt. And my pussy was so swollen that every time I moved, I could feel my clit brushing on my panties and the wetness starting to soak through them.

But although he was looking at me with his eyes dark with lust and I could tell that it was hard for him to keep his hands to himself, he wasn't making any kind of direct move. And as disappointed as I was, I wasn't about to make a move on my boyfriend's best friend right in front of him either.

And then the game was over, and they had won, and Mike turned to the two of us on the couch hollering, and the chemistry was broken. They were rehashing the game and talking about what to do with the extra money they won and I got up to clean up the mess. I went into the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher and when I came out they were arguing about whether of not Owen was going to spend the night.

"I'm fine, Mikey." He said trying to grab his car keys from Mike who was holding them in his fist.

"Just stay the night. You can borrow my clothes tomorrow morning. Your work is closer from here anyway." Mike was saying. The he turned to me, "Babe, tell him to stay, he's not sober."

"Yeah, Owen, you should just stay the night. I can make up the guest room for you. There's going to be a lot of cops out tonight." I said to him, not wanting him to drive around intoxicated. With one final shrug of his shoulders, he agreed that he should spend the night.

When I got into bed a little later, I was still horny from all the flirting with Owen and leaned into Mike and began kissing his neck while reaching into his boxers to massage his cock.

"Oh..babe, not tonight. I'm so tired and I need to get all the sleep I can." Mike said and turned over and was sound asleep in minutes. I sighed and lay there staring up at the ceiling fuming silently. What does a girl have to do around here to get laid??

I contemplated fingering myself in bed and even started to touch my tits and twirl my nipples in my fingers but I just wasn't up to it, and turned over on my side, trying to sleep.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep and was awakened the next morning by the sound of the shower coming on. I reached over and Mike's side of the bed was empty. He's usually in there for at least twenty minutes so I closed my eyes and tried to get a little more sleep.

I felt some movement under the covers by my feet and felt my legs grabbed by the ankles and spread. I tried to get up but the hands that grabbed my ankles weighed my legs down. And then I felt hot breath on my panty clad pussy, and a shudder ran through my body. "Mike, are you coming back to bed honey?" I whispered happy that he had sacrificed his usually long shower for a quickie.

I felt my panties being pushed to the side and fingers reaching inside my already soaking wet pussy pushing one finger and then two, all the while coming back out and swirling around my swelling clit. Then with two fingers inside, I felt his mouth clamp down on my clit, sucking on it lightly and flicking his tongue on top of it. I was so wet and ready that I barely needed any foreplay at all and just wanted his cock buried inside me already.

"Mike." I moaned into the pillow and uncovered the blanket to see Owen down in between my legs, sucking on my dripping wet pussy. I gasped in surprise and tried to close my legs, but he held my thighs open with his hands, while looking up at me with a look in his eyes that said that he was going to have me, whether I liked it or not. I resisted for a split second but it was no use. There was no way I was going to stop him now. I spread my legs to him further, giving him full access to my pussy, wanting him to take it all.

Then he sat up and lay on top of me, keeping my legs open to him with his thigh and I could feel the hardness of his cock on my leg. He kissed me deeply, and I could taste myself on his lips, his gorgeous lips.

"I wanted to taste your little pussy all night. I couldn't stop thinking about you." He whispered into my ear as he drove his cock into my pussy, slowly, like he was going to break me if he went too fast. Then he stopped and let me feel the whole shaft inside me, let me get used to it being inside me.

"Oh god, your cock feels so good..." I moaned and met his thrust with my hips, grinding into him and deeply as I could, wrapping my legs around his thighs.

The room was quiet except for the running water of Mike in the shower and our breathing and as he thrust deeper and harder, I began to tremble and moan louder. At one point, I screamed his name and Owen put his hand over my mouth and smiled, motioned for me to be quiet. I laughed quietly and bit my lip to keep from shouting out and took the best fucking of my life. I was lying there, my legs spread open to my boyfriend's best friend on our bed, and when Owen looked down at me and leaned in and moaned into my ear like an animal, I exploded all over his cock. I could feel myself gushing juices that had been pent up since the night before and felt my orgasming pussy tighten around his cock. Feeling my pussy pulsating around his cock, Owen grunted and pulled out, shooting his hot cum all over my stomach and tits.

Just then, we heard the shower stop running and Mike whistling in the bathroom. Owen quickly kissed me on the lips, and we were both laughing as I wiped off the cum on the sheets and he pulled up his boxers. And just as the door to the bathroom opened, and Mike emerged, a towel around his waist, Owen was leaving our bedroom, blowing me a kiss as he left. ]]> Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:17:00 +0000 Winkel but he did. J.Winkel and I fought every school day from the 4th
grade to the 6th. I have no idea why and neither does he. But go at it
we would. Some times I'd win some times he'd win but fight we would. Almost every day.
Then one day we talked. Neither of us could remember what we didn't like
about the other except the fighting. We became the best of friends. We'd
pull things on each other though. Friends do that.

We ran a trap line together for several years. Out at 4:30 am in sub zero weather, rain or snow all for a few dollars. One time someone had been taking our traps and we thought we knew who so we thought to take some of his. We parked J. Winkel's pick-up and were going down this creek picking up traps when someone started shooting at us. We took off at a dead run for the pick-up. I was ahead of him by 25ft at the start.J. Winkel stood 5' 8'' and 210lb. I was 5'11'' and 145lb and had been on the track team. By the time we got to the truck J.Winkle had passed me and had the truck started.
We traded horses together also. We'd go to the auction and if they were selling low, we would buy a horse. If the were selling high we would sell one. By the time I was 16 I had saved enough to buy a 2yo ford convertible. I went into the service and J Winkle stayed at home. My parents moved to Florida and I never went back to that town. Thirty years later I called J.Winkel and found we were both in the air conditioning business. I think what we were fighting about was I could see in him what I didn't like about me. He and I were both loners and didn't want to be. We just had a hard time being around people. I think when we became friends we learned how to be friends with others.
I went through there 5 years ago. J Winkel has been married to the same woman almost 50 years and is farming the farm his grandfather farmed. He and his wife both run close to 300lb and seem happy. I doubt I'll ever see or hear from him again.]]> Tue, 09 Mar 2010 23:27:00 +0000 When I was 20 (in the early 70’s) when my wife and I first came together as a couple, my view of our sex life would‘ve been characterized in the following statement: oh my god, a steady vagina for my own personal use . . . whoopee! I was impetuous, impatient, oversexed and selfish.

It was amazing to have an intimate connection to someone that I cared about, I was overwhelmed with joy and my penis was perpetually erect. My experience of seeing her naked the first time made my cock get so hard I was afraid it would split its skin. We were all over each other in reckless abandon at any opportunity. She was relatively inexperienced, I was the first guy she felt comfortable enough with to really experiment with. She was fascinated by my cock and how it performed; she also was into the power that she had to make it perform its tricks! Many of our dates would end with her happily asking me if she could suck my cock and cum in her mouth, I was in heaven!!!!. She was fascinated by it; she would give me hand jobs just so she could watch the cum spurt out of me, she was amazed by it. She would straddle my stiff cock, nestle it in her vagina and rock on it causing her vagina to moisten and lubricate as she rubbed it against her clit until we both came. It was amazing.

For me, she was the first (and only) girl that I ever went down on. I discovered my passion for cunnilingus in her dorm room just before Christmas in 1971. With my face buried between her thighs I tongued her vagina for all I was worth causing her to experience one of the deepest and most satisfying orgasms of her young life. When I discovered her vagina it was as if someone had just given me the best Christmas present ever. For her, that first time I wrapped my lips around her clit and sucked on it, I thought her head was going to explode. When she came that first time she literally screamed as the orgasm hit her.

We did almost anything imaginable short of having sex and we did it with relish. Finally after six months we ran out of interesting new things to do and we decided to have sex. So on a beautiful spring day in a remote part of a state park, I laid out a blanket in the woods and we fucked; I took her virginity. I would characterize that first time as painful and raw for her and in truth the first half dozen times continued to be painful for her. She was very tight and her tightness was compounded by her nervousness; I was less than stellar at getting her to relax. However, in due time we were able to get her to loosen up a bit and it did get better.

After the first month we got very adept at what I would now call fucking. She was still tight and nervous. I was not very well versed in this whole sex thing for me yet alone for her. I had no idea what to do to get her to relax. I tried to be gentle and sensual. But in the end fucking turned out to be neither romantic nor erotic. But we loved each other and sex felt good, it was fucking. She seldom orgasmed from fucking, I usually would finish her with my hand or my mouth.
But she continued to be fascinated with my equipment and never fatigued of getting me to cum. I would cum in her hand, on her chest, in her mouth on my own belly. I would cum on a moments notice and she loved getting me off
As we continued this wonderful process of discovering each other bodies we kept on talking. Indeed, one of the wonderful things about our relationship was it was based on communication. Indeed that was what brought us together and what has kept us together for 38 years.

Eighteen months after we met, we were married. The honeymoon was stellar for the time that we spent together, we had a great fun and we laughed and agreed that getting married was a wonderful thing to do. We continued fucking; it was nice but it was not anything to write poetry about. In retrospect we fucked because it felt good, and that was it.
So our relationship grew from that summer day in August of 1973 when we were married. Our relationship and the events of our life together were punctuated by fucking. The fucking started out with a fury in the early years but as time went by the lust waned.

We consumed gallons of coffee and spent thousands of hours in our first few years together getting to know each other and becoming best friends. Ultimately our friendship would serve us well. She is now my best friend and has always been. After a few years we decided to have kids, so we stopped using birth control when we fucked and we waited for things to happen. But they didn’t. The lack of success getting to mommy and daddy-ness pushed our sex life to a new and different dimension. Carefree fucking now became purposeful and very clinical sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, after the first six months we did not get pregnant.

The state of our sex life now made a transition to the following deadening pattern which was repeated almost daily. Take temperature. Kiss, kiss, suck, suck (to get me hard) push penis in vagina, thrust, thrust, squirt, squirt. That was about the level of passion involved. Eventually biology worked and we were successful; daughter one came along in 1978. She grew and our efforts at family expansion followed the same regimen that ended in squirt - squirt. Biology continued to work and our family continued to grow over the next 16 years. With each new child, the passionless rut of sexual intercourse was further confounded by the schedules of school events, after school activities, sick kids, sleepovers, dying parents and relatives, field trips, vacations with three kids and eventually high school graduations. At our 20th anniversary our sex life had achieved a new level at mediocrity. We would go weeks without any sex whatsoever and nether one of us seemed to care. Oral sex was occasional, hand jobs were never and sexual intercourse became a duty not a passionate pursuit.

But then in 1989, things turned around and an amazing journey began after our 3rd child was born. We made the decision to stop the population explosion in our little family. The passport was given to me by a surgeon in 1989, it was a certificate that said that I was functionally sterile; the vasectomy was a success. I came home and handed the letter to my wife and smiled big time. For the previous 20 years our sex life had been a seesaw of either trying to get pregnant or trying not to get pregnant, there was always a doubt or worry after we finished, we never relaxed. Now that was all behind us. I looked forward to our life of carefree sex.

But the sex didn’t get any better, if anything it got more blasé. I couldn’t figure it out. We were free from unwanted pregnancy. The girls were very responsible, good kids; they were 13 and 7 and they were very competent at watching their baby brother who was almost 3. We had no more babies for distraction. We obviously had no pressure to get pregnant, so why was the sex so bleh? What was it?

The answer as that the initial carnival sex of newlyweds that was driven by lust had been replaced by clinical sex. When the clinical sex disappeared, the carnival had been over for quite a while. When the carnival ended it moved on. Now here we were years later standing in an empty field. There was no purpose to sex anymore.

Then in 1993, while I was in San Francisco for training I picked up a copy of Psychology Today. In the back of the magazine there was an ad for a sexuality education center (in San Francisco) that offered several different courses, it was divine providence, there I was in San Francisco. I was intrigued. I called and inquired. There were only 2 courses available that weekend. One was titled Male Masturbation, the other was Female Sexuality. It was an easy choice. I already knew how to masturbate so it was obvious what my course would be. So I signed up for Female Sexuality.

The first week in my work seminar dragged on and on. It took forever to make it to the weekend. Finally it was Saturday morning. I arrived early at the building where the Center was and went up to the appropriate floor in the elevator. I was very nervous. When the door opened it revealed a lobby that looked like a lawyer’s office. I went to the receptionist and registered for the Female Sexuality course. I then waited in the lobby area with ten or twelve others …all of them women; some were younger than me and some were older. Eventually they called us into a class room with the chairs in a circle and asked us to take a seat. Indeed I was the only guy in the class of 12 people.

I was really relieved that the class was women. I knew that I would be less self conscious talking about my sex life and my wife in front of women. I was relieved.The course was amazing. During the two days we spent an equal amount of time getting to know the intricacies of what was between a woman’s legs and what was between her ears. The women in the class were incredibly nice to me and very patient. I became the surrogate for their questions to their boyfriends, husbands the opinions of their husbands and boyfriends. Conversely they didn’t belittle me for asking questions about female equipment, I learned as much from them as I did from the instructor.

I walked out of that course that Sunday afternoon with a whole new awareness. I realized for the first time that weekend that there was a difference between making love and fucking. For the previous 20 years I had been fucking. I learned that making love was about building a pathway for trust and sensuality. I learned how to help her relax and clear her head of distractions and self doubt and make room for erotic interaction with me. I learned how to focus my sexuality as a force interacting with her own sexuality. I became aware of my responsibility as her male lover to make her feel comfortable enough with me to learn to relax and surrender to her own emotions and sensations. I learned the importance of sexual communication. Last but not least for me, I learned to be aware of how her sex organs worked, what they looked like in various states of arousal, and what she felt as her arousal grew and developed in response to things that I did to her. I learned how to discover her hot spots and to read her body language. Most importantly, I learned about foreplay as something that starts way before the lights dimmed and her clothes came off.

Later that week when I flew home, I sat in the plane and thought to myself that I had been sexually transformed.
When I arrived home that night after having been gone for two weeks, she assumed that we would fuck that first night I was home. But we did not fuck. With my new awareness, we made love.

That first night home from San Francisco was the beginning of a journey that is now 20 years old and continues to amaze me to this day. That was the first night we made love. We made deep, passionate, erotic, eye opened love. I exercised everything I had learned about how to help her arousal to grow and blossom. That night, I helped her to embrace the sensual feelings deep inside her vagina, I helped her hold them and feed them, helping them to shift location, form, sensation and intensity. As her arousal grew and transformed inside of her that night, her eyes widened in amazement. She was shocked as the searing sensation of her arousal spread across her body crackling across her skin like electricity. It gripped her genitalia, her breasts, her anus and her fingers and toes in an ecstatic vice grip. In a soft gentle voice I whispered in her ear, coaching her to wait and not to surrender to orgasm. The sexual tension inside her wound up like a steel spring. I held her and helped her to hold the burning ecstasy in her mind and deep in her vagina and let them smolder together until they consumed her. And she didn’t cum as she looked into my eyes in desperation as I talked gently and softly to her. My penis was hot and throbbing and was rooted in the depths of her vagina pressing against her womb.

Her reward was that the sensations intensified and drilled deeper into her as she caressed my penis and as I embraced her lovingly. She gripped me and groaned as the orgasm caught fire and burned into her shuddering and gaping vagina. Finally when she could take no more I held her tightly as she slipped over the edge of the orgasmic abyss; as she went into ecstatic free fall her body quivered and shuddered and jerked as the contractions drilled into her vagina and flooded her brain with waves of mind numbing sensation. Her vagina clamped onto my steely cock and held it as a drowning man clings to a life raft at sea. My penis was her only sense of reality as the orgasmic tide that was filling her head cleared her brain of rational thought. The orgasm took control of her body; it was twisting it and shaking it in ecstatic spasms.

When it was over, she laid in the bed in a sweat and burst into tears; I kissed her forehead and held her and I thought to myself that our days of fucking were over.

Over the next ten years we both read books on male and female sexual response. I really got into this sensual discovery effort. I began to read about Zen meditation and in 1995 took an intensive week long course in Zen meditation. That was followed by a weekend retreat in Kundalini Yoga in 1997. From these Far East practices I learned how to have dry multiple male orgasms. I learned how to extend an orgasm to as long as 15 minutes with rests of five to ten minutes building to another 15 minute dry orgasm and continue the sequence for sets of 5 or six orgasms with no ejaculations over 90 minutes.

A by product of these mmo exercises has been an exponential improvement in my ability to make love to my wife. My erections are stronger. I have greater staying power, my orgasms are more intense and when I cum I cum in torrents. I have also become more effective at helping her to relax and appreciate the deep and satisying sensations I can give her. At 58 I am infinitely more erotic and sensual than I was 20 years ago. My ability to sustain an erection during an extended love making session is noteworthy, and I have the ability to ejaculate at will. This means that we have been able to extend love making sessions for up to two hours. But the sessions are not fucking, they are a myriad array of techniques and movements of my penis in her vagina coupled with a rich variety of sensuous caresses and kisses, body movements and positions. Together they are a rich and varied erotic palette that evokes intense emotions and sensations.

Our sex life now is a carefully choreographed dance that allows for full expression of the deep feelings we have for each other. We now enjoy complex interactions such as the deeply satifying feeling of her vagina caressing my penis while our eyes are locked together urging each other to higher and higher levels of arousal, communicated only by the intensity and the subtley of our gaze.

We continue to grow and evolve in the discovery of each others sexuality. I now celebrate her sexuality and revel in erotic discovery with her. I have become comfortable in my role of facilitator of this dance of passion; she has learned to trust her own sensations and surrender to them. All of this has opened the doors to divinely intense orgasms and a very deep relationship that surpasses anything that I ever thought was possible.

We no longer fuck. We truly are making love and building love in the process.]]> Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:55:00 +0000