Sexual Performance Anxiety!!
Posted Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:15 PM
Here's my deal:
I recently split up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years (my decision). Over that period of time, I developed an internet porn habit that got to the point that i would look forward to looking at my favorite porn stars and and pleasing myself, more than I would look forward to having sex with her. Please note, that during all of this, I never had any problems performing with her, and we still had sex on a regular basis. I never had a problem getting turned on. When we parted, I met a gorgeous girl that should have made my penis stand up straight and tall, but I guess you could say that I "choked"---performance anxiety that I have never felt in the 29 years of my life. Eventually, it did work, but not to its full potential, and it was so embarrassing that the next time I was with her, that's all I could think about (my dick not working) and the dominoes started falling over. Thankfully, she was very cool about it, but I still get fear inside me whenever i know she will be around. I can achieve an erection just fine on my own........It just doesn't make sense, and is making me afraid that i will permanently be like this, even though I was fine a month ago with my girlfriend.
What the hell is wrong with me? Has porn totally ruined my sex drive, and melted my brain?? I am pretty sure that this is due to chronic masturbation....is it because that i was just used to my girlfriend, that i functioned properly around her? Does anyone else have an opinion, or have had anything similar happen to them in the bedroom? Am I becoming impotent at 27?
Posted Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:53 PM
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2007 05:42 AM
Porn is just "easier"...it's there when you want it, gone when you don't. No strings, no ties, no responsibilty. We all need time to ourselves.
And masturbating? You going to anyway so why not enjoy it. When the time comes, you will adjust to a woman just fine. You are perfectly normal. You are simply not ready for all this yet.
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2007 08:53 AM
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2007 08:58 AM
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:20 AM
Hey, I think most of us in long term relationships have experienced something like this once in a while. However, if it's more than a one or two time thing, like you're describing, you probably need some help getting past it.
And, you might want to limit your porn/masturbation to every three days or so. I think that would help. I used to watch porn and masturbate, but I found sex was so much better if I waited. I can keep myself hard as long as I want, and do it several times a session. However, if I had to go more than a week, I'd resort to a "helping hand."
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:25 AM
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:01 PM
also i might add that i masterbate about 4 times a week
Posted Tue Mar 27, 2007 10:02 AM
I was hoping you were right...and I do agree with you that I am way to anxious, but I recently saw the girl again, and we got into a little argument.....I did not end up "going home with her that night", and I was actually relieved that I didn't have to face a potentially embarrassing one on one sexual interaction again. I had no problems masturbating instead..........i think i'm fucked up and it's beginning to frighten me a bit. I don't want to turn into a sexually hung up dude.....