All girls thinking of kids- how did this happen!
Posted Tue Sep 06, 2011 04:50 PM
Posted Tue Sep 06, 2011 05:17 PM
So yes, if you are going to continue to date women around your age, I think you should seriously consider whether or not you want to have children and be very upfront about it.
Posted Tue Sep 06, 2011 05:20 PM
I think women worry more because time does run out and conception is a lot harder after 30.
Personally though we have planned it so when our youngest child is 18 my wife will be 48 and I'll be 45..............still a good age to relax and enjoy our lives when the kid's leave home. We don't want to be running round when we're in our 50's
Now ok we are married so I know it's slightly different, but married or long term relationship, I think you should always be looking to the future. If you can see your future with them then why are you with them??
This post has been edited by Iceman_1282: Tue Sep 06, 2011 05:23 PM
Posted Tue Sep 06, 2011 06:09 PM
Posted Tue Sep 06, 2011 09:08 PM
Posted Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:11 PM
It worked out in the end... I was very busy with my career, which I thought it was very important at the time. Now, I'm devoting practically all my time to my children, except for a few engagements that I take from time to time. My oldest is barely finishing his junior high, but he feels lucky to have a mother who's resourceful and experienced. I recently won a dispute with the government on behalf of my daughter, didn't even hire a lawyer and got a settlement for about twenty thousand dollars in services. I couldn't have done that when I was in my early 20's, so there are definitely pros in having children later.
Having children will always be a plunge in cold water, but possibly more so for women who are in demanding careers. I managed to keep working a little after I had my first, but once I had my second child it became obvious I could no longer fulfill the requirements of the profession I had at the time. My income dropped like a rock and I had to make some serious adjustments in lifestyle... Then, I divorced the father and obviously, I kept the children. No, it's not a joke of a decision, but unfortunately, having children is a bit of an imperative in many ways... Being a parent is a very enriching, painful, and ungrateful experience. So, why would women want to have children? Well... Because we can...
Posted Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:16 AM
Posted Wed Sep 07, 2011 12:19 PM
Posted Wed Sep 07, 2011 09:40 PM
Posted Thu Sep 08, 2011 09:51 PM
"Kids are great Apu, you can teach them to hate the things you hate" – Homer Simpson
Posted Sat Sep 24, 2011 06:55 PM
Posted Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:49 PM
Posted Tue Oct 04, 2011 02:47 AM
Posted Tue Oct 04, 2011 09:59 AM
Posted Tue Oct 04, 2011 11:05 AM
Really, the healthiest time to have children is in ones 20's. More and more research is pointing to the dangers of delaying past age 35, for women especially. Not to mention how old parents will be, by the time they send their grown children out into the world, and get their lives back!
I had my youngest at 30, and my ex is 4 years younger! We will have lots of healthy life left in us to be grandparents and even great grandparents...Heck, my daughter and her man are pregnant, and I'll be a grandfather before I'm 43, which is pretty awesome, in my books!!
Posted Sat Nov 05, 2011 01:13 AM
I have always been adament that I would never have children. My background: I was raised by a single mother as my father left when I was 3 months old. I didnt meet him until I was 9. My mother then got married to my stepfather when I was 13. He is a prick of a man and has ruined the relationship I had with my mother. They have 2 kids together and they too are really not having an ideal upbringing. I've never been maternal nor clucky and feel that I would not make a good mother.
My partners background: Oldest of 2 boys, parents had a very unhappy marriage, his father cheated multiple times, finally they seperated and divorced when he was 16. Brother is somewhat of a lost cause (crimanal charges, has never held down a job, still at home with mum, just got girlfriend pregnant). Mother is very bitter over marriage and subsequent divorce. Father has recently remarried, seems happy.
My partner has always stated that he wanted children. Its been something that has been discussed numerous times throughout our relationship but it seems he has never taken me seriously when I have said - no kids. With 10 months to go until the wedding and other issues surfacing I have made my stand re: no kids. I have put it to him that he must decide the future of our relationship - stay with me and never have children or we split up now.
Any advice or people that have been in simular situations?
Posted Sun Nov 06, 2011 08:56 PM
This post has been edited by konfyouzd: Sun Nov 06, 2011 08:57 PM
Posted Mon Nov 07, 2011 05:47 PM
Posted Thu Nov 10, 2011 02:09 AM