Ready for a swap Looking for other couples to trade partners with
Posted Sat Oct 01, 2011 03:06 PM
As a couple we aren't interested in threesomes or group situations. We've been talking about playing seperately and each having a one night stand.
My question is how many other actual swinging couples are there here on SF and what do you do? Threesomes, group sex, swapping? Do you play seperately or only together?
How hard was it to find other suitable partners? How did you meet them?
Any other advice would be much appreciated.
Posted Sun Oct 02, 2011 01:03 PM
So far, our meeting (or not meeting, rather) approach has been exclusively through online sites. We review the profiles of those near us or of those who contacted us (if we did not reject them just from their letter) and decide whether to proceed (or, more often, not). In the very few instances that we get that far, we exchange messages through the system and/or through an e-mail account established specifically for swinging (it does not have our real names attached) to get to know the potential partner(s) better. The next step (which has only happened once so far) is a no-sex meet-and-greet first date, to gauge the potential partner(s) in real life. From there, we can discuss whether we proceed. With that one person, the answer was Yes.
We are attending our first club later this week, and that should be a completely different experience, I imagine.
So far, we agreed to play together and consider potential separate play on a case-by-case basis. We also share full veto rights over shared partners or those that we might try playing with separately. There are two men I have okayed for separate play with Mr.DE, but Mr.DE has not actually done anything with either yet. Until recently, I wanted my first FF experience to be alone, but now am more comfortable with the idea of having M or MM company for it. And we might eventually allow each other more freedoms or opportunities for separate play.
However, just as swapping is not an interest, separate play is not an interest right now, either. We got into swinging to fulfill desires that we cannot for each other as we stand: we want more than one man and one woman.
But those are our preferences, which seem to be atypical of swinging... particularly the bi-M aspect. Many couples seem to want swapping, though plenty also seek group sex that does not include MM action.
The facts that you are more flexible (but don't be too flexible; do determine what you want, what your rules are, and stick with those!) and interested more in swapping and playing separately than in group activity should make things much easier for you than they have been for Mr.DE and I.
Have fun and good luck with your first play date!
Posted Sun Oct 02, 2011 02:05 PM
I'm glad to know we're not the only picky ones. Our experiences might be a bit different than yours since neither my wife nor I are bi. It seems that with most swinging couples the wife is bi.
That will be interesting to hear how your club experience this week goes. I'm pretty keen on visiting a club or experiencing a group encounter, but my wife isn't interested. One thing I've noticed with this is that it's not good to push a reluctant spouse into something their not comfortable with. It just leads to a bad experience for everybody involved.
Posted Mon Oct 03, 2011 03:05 PM
Posted Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:05 PM
Posted Mon Oct 17, 2011 10:40 PM