[alien2]

Say you're a virgin guy, in your twenties.

Perhaps it is by choice. Why not? It is your choice and only yours!
Perhaps it is because you're insecure, can't get close to women in "that" way.

Why are you so insecure? Oh, I see: your penis isn't exactly the way you think it should be.

If that's the source of your insecurities, I'd like to tell you that penis size isn't everything. A long/thick cock is exciting, and it feels good (my opinion), but it isn't the most important thing in bed. And, whatever your appearance is, you'll get out there, eventually. If a woman isn't happy, it is her right. Next! There are women who don't care. And if she's involved with you (friendship, romantic love, etc), it really doesn't matter. Did you ever read a post of a woman here complaining of the size of her boyfriend/husband/fuck buddy penis????? NO!

If I just see a couple of guys naked, their penis erected, and I have to choose: one has a big/thick cock and the other has a small one... I'd take both! (I'm naughty!)

Well if I had to choose, only by the looks, I'd take the big one. But, fortunately, in life, it isn't like this it happens. We meet people, we get to know them, we smell their pheromones, we wanna fuck them. I don't wanna fuck "the cock". Small or big. I wanna fuck "the man"... (well, in my case "the men", but bear with me...).

Then we get to bed, whatever cock size he is, we'll make the best of the experience. Why are we both there? We feel hot, we wanna shag, we want to feel body to body things... he can touch me (please! Lots of touching), kiss me (neck, back, boobs... go on, explore!), we wanna please (we all wanna leave a positive impression in bed, don't we?)... the guy's hands and his breathing on me, his pheromones all over the place... I'm we're feeling very hot.

Oh, my body is sooooooo "grateful", "happy" he's there, I wanna go down on this guy, I wanna give him THE blowjob. I go down, I lower his pants (what were they still doing there, anyway?) and, hop-là, his cock is in my mouth! Did I see it is small? I'm sorry, but I'm too hot and needy right now, so, forgive me if I didn't take the time to go looking for the measuring tape that surely, all women carry in their handbags... ... (Alien, women don't carry measuring tapes in their handbags! Don't be stupid!)... ... (They don't? Are you sure?????)... ... (YES! I'm sure!)... ... (OK! Just checking...)...


But surely, you can "see", can't you? That it is small?... ... (I'm sure, I should, shouldn't I? I'm sorry, I was so hot, clit about to explode, excited... I can't think straight with it all going on)...

And it goes on from there.

The worst case scenario: she does have a measuring tape in her bag ! "No, dear sir, measuring first" (you do get a bj, because scared to hell as you're now, only the best bj in the world will get you up for measuring). She measures you... up (pun intended). She isn't happy! OMG . "Bye, you don't fit my exacting standards."

What would you say? "Bye." That's it. A few awkward moments and "bye". I find it a very unlikely scenario, but what a hell, let's leave it here, for the sake of completeness.

Now, another scenario.
A guy approaches me and asks "do you like small cock?" I'll answer right away "no". Because the question is ridiculous. A guy that's asking this isn't an attractive guy (I'm not talking looks!). He's making himself very unattractive (perhaps the good words are sexy, not-sexy: English isn't even my second language ). It isn't sexy to ask about penis size... ... (Alien! You can't say that! People have kinks, fetiches!)... ... (Sorry... I was just saying...)...(Move on!)... ... (OK) ...


Another scenario (I should be writing for Hollywood!).
We shmooze and we go to a quieter place. Again, I'm hot, otherwise I wouldn't be there, would I? Then the guy lowers his pants/underwear and pops the question "is my penis small?"

Oh! What should I answer? Why did he have to ask? Point blank! Think quickly, Alien, quickly!... ... (QUICKER!) ... ... (A "yes" will put an end to his erection and I'll be needy for nothing. A "no" and he'll feel pleased, cock will rise higher and I can't sit on it in no time: pussy is happy, cock is happy...)... ... (So, you're a hypocritical liar! I knew it, I knew it!)... ... (No! I can say a honest "no", because he didn't define "small")... (For fuck sakes: I've saved the Fuck!)... ...


To summarize our findings: "is my cock small?" makes as little sense as "does my bum look big in this?"
... ... (Does it?)... ... (What Alien?)... ... (Does my bum look big in this????)... ... (Alter-ego lying: NO, no, it looks tiny, Alien!)...


Now, another issue: when talking about cock size we all say it isn't the most important thing. What is it, then? For one thing, if the guy is "good" in bed, he'll be alright.

I see. But how can he be "good" if he's a virgin? (Define "good", please!)
It is his first time, for first-time's sake! Aren't we too demanding? Well, then, he has to get real and be ready to be not that good. Shit happens. Guy comes in five seconds and pussy would like more... guy can't think quickly, because it is quite an experience, and with his insecurities and all... Shit happens! If she's impatient and thinks that's not an experience to be repeated, so be it.

Noboby pleases everybody. Nobody is good all the time. And we learn things. All the time. I thought I was good on bjs, till I started fucking bi-males. Somebody is "better" (whatever that means) than you. Somebody is "bigger" than you. Her boobs are more beautiful, whatever... somebody is younger than you... somebody is older... somebody is kinkier ... ... (Than me?!?? Are you fucking kidding?!??!?)...

More, more, more! Better, better, better! Why do we have to behave like CEOs all the time??? Even in bed? Isn't it supposed to be good, relaxing?...

So, I know it is easy saying, but try and push your insecurities aside for a moment. Work on taking this stuff off your mind. Eventually, you will get out there (you don't have to, but I'm writing to the ones who want to). There are lots of people who genuinely like to fuck out there. And if some woman has laughed upon the sight of your penis (again, very unlikely, but it may happen), perhaps she was just being insecure herself. People offend, because they are insecure. Move on. Perhaps she had a bad guy and wanna take it on the rest of the MANkind. Move on. Perhaps she really doesn't like small cocks. Move on.

Your sexual life will be just like the rest of your life: you won't be good at everything, all the time, you won't please everybody. You won't be THE BEST (whatever that means).

... ... (Where are the two cities??? You said it was a tale of two cities...)... ... (NO, Alien: you said that! Don't make promises you cannot keep!)... ...

[canuck]

Brilliant thread alien..... this should be "tagged" and posted on every thread by guys asking if their cock is big enough!!!

This post has been edited by canuck: Tue Dec 27, 2011 05:29 AM

[Scotty Wright]

You are a jewel, dear lady. A giggle, dressed in compassion. A kiss in gratitude...

This post has been edited by Scotty Wright: Tue Dec 27, 2011 05:29 PM

[wingsofdesire]

I find it hard to believe you have made a greater contribution to humanity than this thread Alien! However, I have the sneaking suspicion you have, you crazy wonderful you.

Brilliant!

[Loneliness & Regret..]

There is mixed messages though. Women say size doesn't matter, yet turn around and give bigger cocks more attention. You said it yourself in your post. I see elsewhere it on here as well (comments, etc). Major mixed messages..This is probably why the am I big enough threads continue.

[wingsofdesire]

@ Jensen - I think it's more like the way men give women with large breasts more attention. (well, some men, most of us like all sizes...) There is a definite physical ideal that is generally agreeded on as better, but do we really care when it comes right down to it? No. Men make comments like 'wow, she's stacked' and 'brickhouse'. But at the end of the day we are attracted to people, not body parts.

[Loneliness & Regret..]

wingsofdesire, on Wed Dec 28, 2011 12:45 AM, said:

@ Jensen - I think it's more like the way men give women with large breasts more attention. (well, some men, most of us like all sizes...) There is a definite physical ideal that is generally agreeded on as better, but do we really care when it comes right down to it? No. Men make comments like 'wow, she's stacked' and 'brickhouse'. But at the end of the day we are attracted to people, not body parts.

First of all, I'm fine with my size, just getting that out of the way. I'm playing a bit of a devils advocate here.

I know at the end of the day, we are attracted to people. But this is directly about sex, not overall relationship. Billions of people have healthy relationships with each other even if they aren't necessarily PERFECT to each other physically..


I think the problem here is, if regular joe-blow goes around this site and sees the popularity of certain pictures, and the way women treat certain guys, he's going to get mixed messages. Boobs are not the same as a dick, because a dick cannot be changed, and it is something that directly stimulates a woman. Boobs are more something to look at..If dudes go around reading women's comments on guys pics with big dicks saying things like "I want to be fucked by that big cock" or "Damn that's a nice big cock *drools*", etc then looks at an average/small dude with no comments..that might spark a little curiosity in joe-blow's size..which results in threads on it..

You can't say that size doesn't matter, then turn around and say you would prefer a bigger dick if it really came down to it.

This post has been edited by JensenR: Wed Dec 28, 2011 12:01 PM

[Justagoodgirl2]

alien 2................ YOU ARE AWESOME! Love it!

I never realized how many guys have such a worry over their penis size until i became a SF member. I guess in a way it's nice to know women aren't the only ones worrying over their bodies, but at the same time i wonder why guys worry so much. Is it because of porn? I know from what i have seen a lot of the guys seem pretty big, but it's porn. Fantasy to sell...
If size is an issue to a girl... find another girl. Why would u want the superficial bitch anyway. Just saying, others will like what you have. There's somebody out there for everyone.

[alien2]

Thank you very much for the kind comment, Justagoodgirl2!

And thank you, too, Canuck, Scotty, Wingsofdesire... very kind!

[saintnailpolish]

Jensen, on Thu Dec 29, 2011 05:58 AM, said:

You can't say that size doesn't matter, then turn around and say you would prefer a bigger dick if it really came down to it.

you can say that though. people have preferences, but it doesn't mean that they don't or can't like anything outside that preference. for example, i like tall guys, and when it really comes down to it i would prefer a guy who is like 6'2", but i've dated guys who were the same height as me and had sex with guys who weren't that much taller. sexual attraction comes down to more than just a dick.

plus it's not like girls can really choose guys based on their dicks in most situations, seeing as they're not really accessible in most cases until it's actually time to get sexual.

[Loneliness & Regret..]

saintnailpolish, on Thu Dec 29, 2011 06:52 PM, said:

you can say that though. people have preferences, but it doesn't mean that they don't or can't like anything outside that preference. for example, i like tall guys, and when it really comes down to it i would prefer a guy who is like 6'2", but i've dated guys who were the same height as me and had sex with guys who weren't that much taller. sexual attraction comes down to more than just a dick.

plus it's not like girls can really choose guys based on their dicks in most situations, seeing as they're not really accessible in most cases until it's actually time to get sexual.

There must be a reason WHY you have that preference. If size didn't matter to you, then your preference would be anything, would it not?

[Olive]

Cock sizing has never been about women, or about pleasuring them.

[mr_curve]

Unfortunately, those who would do well with this are far beyond attempts to rationalize insecurities. Oh well. Any guy that gets laughed at for his cock size may not know that she just failed his 'crazy bitch not worth the time' test. And she's not. Anyone that would humiliate another isn't worth wasting any time with even if that person doesn't realize it then.

[saintnailpolish]

Jensen, on Fri Dec 30, 2011 03:34 PM, said:

There must be a reason WHY you have that preference. If size didn't matter to you, then your preference would be anything, would it not?

it's human nature to have preferences though. i think you're confusing what is a preference to someone with what is a necessity for someone when it comes to choosing a partner.

plus like i said, most women do NOT choose guys by their dicks. other preferences regarding things like personality can override the important of the size of a dick. a lot of women can't even cum from penetration anyway, no matter what the size so i would say that oral skills are more important in terms of sex. and i don't care if people say that when it's just for sex that personality doesn't matter. i wont have a one night stand with someone unless he shows me respect, even if he had a 10 inch dick that came chocolate.

and i definitely agree with olive's post. women have said time and time again that dick size doesn't matter, and if the girl rejects you because of it then she's probably somebody you don't want to be with, but apparently it's all pointless.

[2little2late]

You get what you get. If it's below average, then the folks involved will have to make it do since there is NOTHING to be done to change it.

[misery]

What a cock size post you have there alien....

Yes. Insecurity happens to everyone.

I am not sexually active, but i never think about if my penis is big enough for a girl.

[Ambrosini]

There's an episode of Penn and Teller's Bullshit that covers size. A good watch when you have the time.

And really, alien2 is right.

[Darkliey]

I totally agree with Misses Alien, in the part of pheromones, and I can tell by own experience is true because I can say Im not in an average sice of "cock" when the word is pennis Im more bigger, but we ar enot her to argue about that, going a littlle bit forward(thans miss Alien Again)I could remember that one day I failed to get laid with some girl I neve rdare to talk with, I must admit this girl has huge breast's, but I was not really interested in that so, yeah people can say im stupid but I didnt feel atracted to the girl, in other case walking down the street in my old home there was another girl more skinnier than the other( other girl was like 36 D) and this one was like 34b and I feel attracted,is only about pheromones, I can tell that even if your feeling Really "horny", you need to find The right one(and I mean someone who atracted you) to"fuck with Her/him, well thats just my opinion.


Peace,Respect.

Pd:anything related with reality I Dont Really Give a Shit(I.D.R.G.S).

[cockroach503]

Nice post, but I'm confused

You said:

"I thought I was good on bjs, till I started fucking bi-males. " How does a women know if a man is better at giving blow jobs than her?

[alien2]

cockroach503, on Wed Sep 12, 2012 12:42 AM, said:

Nice post, but I'm confused

You said:

"I thought I was good on bjs, till I started fucking bi-males. " How does a women know if a man is better at giving blow jobs than her?

Because I ask. I believe in education. I'm a sex nerd. No matter how good you are, you can always do better, and no matter how wonderful you are for one partner, another partner may be rather interested in something different. People are different. I ask.

If I'd fuck you, for instance, I'd watch your reactions to what I am doing, as well as to what you are doing. I explain: some men do things thinking they're supposed to. If I see and feel the guy is just doing me "a favor", I'll try and take him out of his misery. Like a guy who hates sucking pussy, but does it anyway, because he thinks he's supposed to, etc.

While watching your reactions (toes curling, muscles tensing, moans frequency and intensity, your hands grabbing something, your pupils dilating, etc), I'll have an idea if what I'm doing is going in the right direction.

After the deed, while we're relaxing in post orgasms bliss, I'll ask you something like "what could I have done better?", or say something like "I promise to do better next time, if you help me" (jokingly, since I know I'm good, but, like I said, however good you think you are, you can always do better), or "what was the bit of you I have ignored", and so on.

When other people are involved (threesomes, etc), I'll observe all of the above, but I'll also observe how you react to what other people are doing to you. And if I get a chance, I'll ask you about your impressions, what was good, what was less good, what you wished one hadn't stopped doing, etc.

The thing with asking is that some men won't tell. They'll say something in the lines of "nothing, it was perfect, you're the best", etc. I never buy this kind of talk. There is no such a thing as "the best" in sex. It can always be better. If the guy won't tell, I won't pressure him to. Eventually they all open up and reveal their fantasies, their kinks, etc. And I try to accommodate. If I can't handle it, I bring people in who can.

In the case of the bisexual males I fuck, I can ask anything and always get an honest answer. Not only that, but I got "lessons", like having them licking and sucking my fingers, or treating my clit as if it was a penis, etc.

Another way of learning is to listen to stories of former lovers. I love to hear stories of former/other lovers. What was it that other women, or men, did that was special, left a mark, etc.