Getting a woman interested in a guy
Posted Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:58 PM
Posted Thu Dec 29, 2011 01:40 AM
There are very few women who will have sex with a man they aren't interested in. They understand that, in the USA, they have control over when and where and how the decision to have sex is made. If you have patience, develop your skill in conversation, and can resist seeming too needy, you may do well.
The major mistake is collecting lines, hoping that you can spout some zinger that will turn her knees limp. A woman over 20 has probably heard more than her share of charmers with no charm, so if you walk up to her with a generic, one-size-fits-all come-on line, prepare to go down in flames. Believe that being real is always, always better. Believe it. If you think she's attractive, say so. If she doesn't hit you that way, leave the subject alone. You may not have her follow you home, but she may want to see you again. A friendship may grow, and benefits may follow.
When you talk with her (not to her or at her), watch where the conversation is going. Women often show whether they are interested, if they are bored, when they'd like to you to shut up, or if they want you to get lost. If you truly believe you have her attention, you might lean forward and touch her hand or shoulder. If she stiffens up, it's too much too soon.Depending on your personality and approach, you can either apologize and say "oops, sorry - too much too soon!" or ask "are you uncomfortable? It just felt natural to me..."
But you gotta mean it. If the touch is a natural thing, great; if it's the desperate lunge of a guy who can't tell whether a woman is into him, not great. Groping, grabbing, hanging on a woman (that you do not know very well, if at all) is not cool, at any time.
These are just ideas off the top of my head, that have been told to me by women who had unfun times at the hands of inexperienced, overeager guys. I'm sure other folks will chime in with other suggestions, but let me say this:
I have never asked a woman (that I do not know very well, if at all) to have sex with me.
When sex becomes a understood conclusion, we both know it - no words necessary. It may take a couple hours (rare) or a couple months. But I'm not waiting for her to have sex with me - I'm learning about who she is, and whether I want to know her. To have sex is to learn about her too, but some women decide that sex is an indicator of how interested a man is (often, it's just an indicator of how badly he wants to get laid, but...) and the time that the man waits shows his level of interest.
So be honest. If you find that she doesn't really draw your attention, don't give it. You will only be hanging with her until you see someone that truly attracts you. Then you're gone, the first woman is insulted, and may retaliate by talking the nasty about you.
It's hard, to begin learning about women and the sexual politics that can complicate the simplest urge: "let's have sex". Still, people are fucking, having sex, getting laid, making love and all that suff. Hang in there, rdonovan1 - it'll happen...
Posted Thu Dec 29, 2011 03:37 AM
Quite frequently, women seem to really want what doesn't want them. Check you DJTektonic's thread in the relationship forum. Check out "Book of Pook" if you really want a bizarre but true perspective in how douchbag idiots get women attracted to them, and the nice guy doesn't.
Posted Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:48 AM