making a 2some a 3some advice
Posted Fri Feb 10, 2012 06:30 AM
Has any one had a bad experience adding a third person to their bedroom fun ?
Posted Fri Feb 10, 2012 06:59 AM
Posted Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:15 AM
However, the risk of a bad experience does not mean one should not try. What you should do, though, is vet your partners. Some couples actually have applications that must be completed and approved before playing with them. Some (like us) require some level of communication and a no-sex meet-and-greet date before playing... and we state rules and expectations clearly beforehand, so no one can come to the bedroom and claim that condoms are a surprise.
You are not fully going to guarantee that the experience will be all you want -- that is true even as you get to know a potential BF -- but you can improve your odds by getting a feel for the person. If he gets impatient before you two are ready to play, then obviously he is not a good match. There are plenty of men willing to be a third for a couple, so you two can afford to be selective. Also, discuss thoroughly with your BF any rules that would make you two feel more comfortable (condoms, whether you play at your place or a hotel, whether you want any "No _____" rules), and make sure that you are both comfortable with the third party. Neither of you should play only for the sake of the other, but because you both want to do it.
I do not have experience with foursomes (still working on it, but we move very slowly), but from what I have read, foursomes do not really help cut down on potential jealousy. I have read many stories in which one swapping worked fabulously while the other swap did not go so well, resulting in higher insecurities, jealousies, resentments, and failures to communicate than I have read stories of threesomes resulting in the same issues. So, take that as you will, but bear in mind that four people connecting is even harder than three people connecting, and having to communicate with your partner past two people is harder than communicating with him past one.
If jealousy is a big concern for you, then you should probably hold off on finding a third party for now. If you both really like the idea, then instead share fantasies, use toys to help create a phantom third party. It might help acclimate you both to the concept, while also developing ideas of what you would do if/when you actually got a third party. If you two determine that you are not comfortable with bringing in a third real person, after all, then you still have fun with your shared fantasies and play. If you do decide that you are comfortable with it, then you have some goals to work towards for the actual date, rather than going, "Uh, so what should we do?"
This post has been edited by DE-DarkEyes: Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:17 AM
Posted Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:41 AM
Posted Sat Feb 11, 2012 07:25 AM
ok first of all let me start with its only ever been just me and my husband hehe. HOWEVER talk to your husband and the other person/ people that will be with you/him and explain what you all want. i think it will be easier if everyone is all on the same page. for us: its just girl on girl fun, he wont do ANYTHING with the other girl and if she had a male addition i wouldnt do ANYTHING with him. Thats what we have come up with that works for us.... so my suggestion is talk to all parties involved and just figure out what everyone wants and then make guidelines from there....
Posted Sun Feb 12, 2012 05:42 AM
all the best and i hope you have an amazing experience, i would love to do something like this.