[seabreeze132]

last night while playing with each other my man mentioned again that he would love to try a 3some with an other guy to watch me getting really fucked only i worry it might go wrong but it might also be great.

Has any one had a bad experience adding a third person to their bedroom fun ?

[seabreeze132]

Thant's the one thing I am worried will happen, it is some thing I would like to try and would possibly consider a foursome. The only thing stopping me is if it goes wrong.

[seabreeze132]

I feel that a foursome could help stop some of the jealousy

[DE-DarkEyes]

Certainly some couples have had bad experiences by adding a third (or a couple). Check out some of the other threads here on SF; Jealousy Hangups, in particular, provides two different experiences: one good and one bad. Though the husband worries that the jealousy is in him, I see the real difference as being with the behavior of the third party. The good experience was with a third party who understood his role and was courteous and respectful. Problems came into play with an inconsiderate third party who treated the play date as his time to enjoy himself, without respect for the couple's wants and rules.

However, the risk of a bad experience does not mean one should not try. What you should do, though, is vet your partners. Some couples actually have applications that must be completed and approved before playing with them. Some (like us) require some level of communication and a no-sex meet-and-greet date before playing... and we state rules and expectations clearly beforehand, so no one can come to the bedroom and claim that condoms are a surprise.

You are not fully going to guarantee that the experience will be all you want -- that is true even as you get to know a potential BF -- but you can improve your odds by getting a feel for the person. If he gets impatient before you two are ready to play, then obviously he is not a good match. There are plenty of men willing to be a third for a couple, so you two can afford to be selective. Also, discuss thoroughly with your BF any rules that would make you two feel more comfortable (condoms, whether you play at your place or a hotel, whether you want any "No _____" rules), and make sure that you are both comfortable with the third party. Neither of you should play only for the sake of the other, but because you both want to do it.

I do not have experience with foursomes (still working on it, but we move very slowly), but from what I have read, foursomes do not really help cut down on potential jealousy. I have read many stories in which one swapping worked fabulously while the other swap did not go so well, resulting in higher insecurities, jealousies, resentments, and failures to communicate than I have read stories of threesomes resulting in the same issues. So, take that as you will, but bear in mind that four people connecting is even harder than three people connecting, and having to communicate with your partner past two people is harder than communicating with him past one.

If jealousy is a big concern for you, then you should probably hold off on finding a third party for now. If you both really like the idea, then instead share fantasies, use toys to help create a phantom third party. It might help acclimate you both to the concept, while also developing ideas of what you would do if/when you actually got a third party. If you two determine that you are not comfortable with bringing in a third real person, after all, then you still have fun with your shared fantasies and play. If you do decide that you are comfortable with it, then you have some goals to work towards for the actual date, rather than going, "Uh, so what should we do?"

This post has been edited by DE-DarkEyes: Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:17 AM

[seabreeze132]

Thanks every one for your advice, t has really helped

[dirty man]

when together, i loved watching my ex getting fucked by other guys. we split for different reasons.

[Mrs. Jod H Purr]

seabreeze132, on Fri Feb 10, 2012 05:59 AM, said:

Thant's the one thing I am worried will happen, it is some thing I would like to try and would possibly consider a foursome. The only thing stopping me is if it goes wrong.

ok first of all let me start with its only ever been just me and my husband hehe. HOWEVER talk to your husband and the other person/ people that will be with you/him and explain what you all want. i think it will be easier if everyone is all on the same page. for us: its just girl on girl fun, he wont do ANYTHING with the other girl and if she had a male addition i wouldnt do ANYTHING with him. Thats what we have come up with that works for us.... so my suggestion is talk to all parties involved and just figure out what everyone wants and then make guidelines from there....

Good Luck
Jod

[geecee]

as long as you are happy and comfortable with all involved and have a trustworthy bond, i see no problems

all the best and i hope you have an amazing experience, i would love to do something like this.