When me and my neighbor Mandi first met she was giving me some tips on basic care care. I was checking the oil and she seized the sipstick from my hand. "No thats not how you do it. You have got to push it all the way in before you pull it out". My other neighbor a 80+ year old woman who sadly has since passed away, was standing there and quipped "You go girl!" Poor Mandi turned so red her face looked like a beet
Many years ago I had a cracked engine head and was pricing repair costs when I walked into a shop and asked the service manager, a woman in her mid 30's, "How much for a head job?" Luckily for me she knew what I meant
When I owned my Blackberry the trackball kept freezing up, rendering my device useless. I went to the store where I bought it at for assistance and the perky young lady at the counter looked at my phone, then shouted to the technician in the back "Can you show me how to clean dirty balls?" I don't think she ever lived that one down
My neighbors Mandi's sister Courtney works in a hardware stare and told me this gem the other day, and actually gave me the idea of making this thread. A young woman came in and Courtney asked if she could help her.
"I need some cock" the woman replied.
"You need what?" Courtney replied, trying to keep from laughing.
"Some cock" the woman replied. She described it a cylinder about 9 inches long with a narrow tip and a "squeeze thingy" at the base.
Courtney couldnt contain herself any longer and told the woman that she had never seen one 9 inches long before or one with a narrow tip and the "squeeze thingy" is actually quite sensitive.
The customer looked confused and reiterated that she needed some cock....
To insulate her windows
Courtney explained to her that she wanted CAULK not cock.
And my favorite, courtesy of my sister: A few years ago when my sister was a jailer in a large county jail a reporter asked her how she managers some of the violent male inmates she is responsible for..
She replied matter of factly "I don't use my fists to control these guys. I use my mouth. I get quick results that way and everyone is happy with the solution."
She MEANT oral communication, not oral sex. And she was horrified when she finally realized how what she said could be interpreted.
This post has been edited by GaryM: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:59 PM