My strong sex drive seems to be ruining things
Posted Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:35 AM
Posted Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:43 AM
There are several solutions. If she's willing to engage in an open relationship, then you can fulfill your needs elsewhere some nights and give her a break. Or you can compromise, say have sex every other night instead of every night. Go masturbate in the shower if you have to. Or go back to the beginning and work on wooing her again. Have a long make out session. Give her a back massage. Etc, etc. What kinds of things did you do while dating to get her horny? Make an effort to do those things again.
Posted Tue Mar 13, 2012 01:15 PM
On your end though, it's important that you communicate better with your girlfriend. Getting impatient because she's not up to it doesn't help things one single bit, and what you need to do is to try to understand exactly what her needs are. This is something you need to approach in a different room than the bedroom, and make sure you mention that you expect some feedback from her so she doesn't get into avoiding the conversation indefinitely.
In the mean time, I'd suggest you try to be more cuddly with her without actually trying to get sexual. If she's receptive, you're in luck; if not, don't push it. I find that young guys skip a lot of steps when trying to get sexual... Some women don't mind this, but the great majority seems to like a paced approach better... First, a casual touch just to get her attention (with clothes of course); then you touch her in a more friendly way like when you do with a hug; then you can touch her in the face more intimately; move to kissing and touch her bare back under her clothes; and only then, you can consider moving to the bedroom, or the kitchen table or wherever to engage in sexual foreplay.
You have to keep in mind that these steps can take hours before you actually have intercourse, so have patience, and practise the dance.
Posted Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:17 PM
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2012 09:56 AM
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:03 PM
In some cases I think gals will come on like ten tigers to snare their men, but deep down could really care less or care less about doing it often enough to be compatible with the guy they snared. Goes without saying that in short order, all is revealed.
In other cases there very well could be some mental or physical reasoning for all this and those need to be ruled out firstly I would think.
Don't get me wrong either, what the other posters have put in here are also good things but may or may not be what is really going on. You can be as nice as pie and a real ladies man but if she don't want to, it isn't going to happen.
You aren't alone by any means...the globe is full of this type of thing going on. Seems to be a bit of trend too...men doing the complaining about it...not so much the females. Its a problem...a real problem.
Posted Tue Mar 20, 2012 08:41 PM
Sound like you don't want her, you want sex. For many women, they are not the same.
"Men give intimacy for sex, while women give sex for intimacy."
"Why does a bride have such a beautiful smile as she walks down the aisle with her new husband?
Because she's given her last blowjob."
Shrink:How often do you have sex?
He: Hardly ever! Three times a week!
She: Constantly! Three times a week!
Nymphomaniac: A woman who wants more sex than me
Frigid: a woman who wants less sex than me
So many clichéd jokes and stories like these would have you believe that women hate sex, that they resent having to 'put out' for men, that any man who asks for more is an insensitive beast, that they only need to make him feel guilty and needy to keep him in line.
Why are you with her?
Sex is not an activity for most women- it's the result of an atmosphere of intimacy. If the only reason for being together is sex, then say so:
"I wanted a sex partner, and I do not want to beg for it or deal with a guilt trip when I ask for it. I thought you wanted sex too, but if I'm mistaken, tell me that I'm on the wrong bus."
There is no reason to stay if you're not getting what you want.
Unless, of course...
Unless you like her, you enjoy her company - talking, listening, sharing thoughts and feelings and ideas, hiking and biking and cooking and eating and movies and galleries and books and so on and so on.
So if there's a chance that maybe you do feel a little non-sexual affection for her...
Try this: Spend three days with her, without sex, without asking for sex, without expecting sex. At all. Then, during those three days:
Touch her back or give a squeeze on her hips as you pass her in the kitchen; when you come to dinner, give her a kiss on the forehead. Look into her eyes as she talks to you- hold her in your gaze, then let your eyes slowly travel across her body; rub her feet or her back when you sit together; pour a bath for her, light candles in the bathroom, then after she's soaked a while, come in and offer to wash her back; offer to brush her hair, stealing a kiss on her neck.
Touch her, stroke her when you are within arm's reach; kiss her, gently, gratefully; put your arms around her, for no reason except she's the one you chose - not the one you're stuck with, not that you were all she could get, not that she's all you've got, but the woman to whom you said, and continue to say every day
I choose you.
If you can do this, and believe it while you do this, you might convince the woman you chose to include in your life that you don't just want sex:
you want her.
Posted Wed Mar 21, 2012 07:40 AM
Just talk to her about it man but don't come off in a way that makes you sound like you just want to get off. Explain to her that it is important to you and you like sharing time with her this way. You want the connection along with the sex, not just to get some pussy, because if all you wanted was pussy you wouldn't care that she doesn't seem to be fully into it. You crave the closeness and connection. Good luck man.
Posted Wed Mar 21, 2012 08:56 AM
Posted Wed Mar 21, 2012 02:38 PM
Posted Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:52 AM