Here's a little background. I'm in my mid 20s, in-shape and relatively athletic. I'm not Mandingo, but i'm relatively well endowed at about 8", and with too much girth to fit in a normal sized condom. I've always been very passionate in bed, and combining the physical properties with intensity and good stamina has made delivering orgasms less than challenging with the majority of partners.
I always thought of myself as being pretty damn good in bed. I'm not sure how many girls i've slept with, but it's safe to say that this isn't my first rodeo. Now remember this is a thread about my sexual failures, so don't take any of this as bragging. That said, I've given many girls multiple orgasms, i've had women in their mid-late 20s with 20+ partners tell me i'm the best they've had, and even ask me how i managed to stimulate them the way i did. With a few of the more sensitive ones back in the college days i'd keep a mental tally and challenge myself to see how many orgasms i could give a girl in 1 session.
Now I have no illusions that i'm a god in bed, but from the feedback i've gotten it's safe to say that I'm certainly above average, and that's something i've always prized.
My current G/F and i have been together for over a year and we have a great relationship. When we first started sleeping together, the first 3 or 4 times especially, she would ask me to stop and give her a minute to catch her breath, or push me away for a few seconds. It was a bit intense for her, and that's fine. There were times when things would get intense and she would hold her breath for 8-10 seconds, like many women do during orgasm...except she wasn't actually having an orgasm. She told me the sex was great, told her friends the sex was great, and judging by the amount of moaning/screaming/scratching the shit out of me, it definitely seemed to be intense for her.
After the first few times i realized that she wasn't actually having orgasms. She wasn't faking them, just that some of her mannerisms during intense sex are similar to many women during orgasm. She told me not to worry about it, and it would take me "a long time" before she was comfortable enough to allow that to happen. She also said it was VERY difficult for her, and only one guy had ever made her orgasm during sex. I'm not sure how many partners she's had, and it's not a question i'll ever ask, but judging by her lifestyle (she's not slutty, but likes to have a good time) i'm sure there have been more than a few. The one guy she did orgasm with was a guy she dated for 3 years, and lived with for about 2 years.
Even then, she said orgasm was a very rare occurrence, and the vast majority of the time it didn't happen for her. In 3 years of sleeping together regularly, she claims she may have had 20 orgasms.
At first it was something i took lightly, confident that i'd be able to make it happen much quicker than the 6 months it took her Ex to get her there. Well shit, was I wrong.
I've tried everything, concentrating on the G-spot sometimes, massaging her clit sometimes, massaging her ass during sex, hell sometimes i even massage her ass and clit at the same time while pounding her. We've had sex for hours, on many occasions with different degrees of intensity. Generally she likes it very rough, and i'm happy to oblige.
In the past year i've fucked her till we're both dripping sweat and there's a sizable wet spot in bed, and i've never made her orgasm. I know some girls can't orgasm if a guy is too rough, so i've tried the gentle approach many times. Nothing.
I've fucked her so vigorously that after about 1/2 hour she started bleeding and had to see a doctor. Nothing.
She doesn't give me a whole lot of feedback, besides telling me she likes it rough. Even when i ask, she doesn't say much about what she wants or how she wants it. I rarely get anything to go off of. When things get intense she'll sometimes force my hand away from her clit, or squirm and force me away for a few seconds to regain her composure. According to her, sometimes it's just too much stimulation. On one occasion she tried to do this and i held her down forcibly and continued through the intense part without letting her relax for a second. No orgasm, she just jokingly called me an asshole and that was that...clearly she wasn't pleased that i had tried to force it, but after trying to coax it for 6 months i figured what the hell, maybe it'll work. Nope.
For awhile i just got so used to it not happening that it didn't bother me. We talked about it this morning and she says sex without orgasm for her is so normal that it's still very satisfying...bullshit, if you've had orgasms during sex there's no way you're 100% satisfied without it.
We spent some time talking, and she says she's not even sure what makes the difference between it happening and not happening, and she really doesn't have any suggestions on what more i can do for her. I know she's being honest, she really doesn't know what does/doesn't make it happen for her.
It's just beyond frustrating when you've been having vigorous sex for an hour, you're both drenched in sweat, the sheets are soaked in sweat and vaginal fluid, and you haven't gotten the job done. Really? Most girls would have had multiples by now for fucks sake.
She isn't very adventurous as far as positions and strongly prefers missionary, with me doing just about all of the work. That's fine with me, i usually prefer it that way because i like to keep the pace up. She enjoys receiving oral sex, and compliments me in that area also, but says it isn't something that will bring her to orgasm.
My only idea as to why she had orgasms with her Ex is that she was on birth control when she was with him, so they didn't use condoms. She's had hormonal problems as a result and is no longer on birth control, so even though i'm an adult in a stable relationship, i'm stuck in condom-land like it's high school all over again. I never go for more than the first 5 minutes or so without putting a condom on (stupid to start that way, i know) but in that time it's definitely more enjoyable for both of us, so it's a bit of a consolation knowing that her Ex definitely had an advantage there....or maybe the guy was hung like a Clydesdale and fucked like a bunny on crack...i don't know.
All thoughts/feedback welcome, especially from female members.
This post has been edited by LiveOnce: Tue Apr 10, 2012 03:07 PM