I am sexually attracted to myself Anyone Else?
Posted Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:48 PM
Or at least I think I am
Hi, I am new to this site. I was looking for somewhere to discuss this, and this forum seemed quite open. Bare with me here as I try to explain.
I am a straight male, 28 years old. I know, I know, you are thinking "how can you be straight", but after several years wondering myself, it is the only conclusion I can come to. I have only ever been attracted to the feminine form, and masculinity does nothing for me. I have a girlfriend who I care about very much. Indeed by all considerations I a very average person, except...
I am a part time crossdresser. It is something I got into out of boredom really. I saw other people do it quite successfully on the internet, and I found it exciting. I have only ever met a couple of other people while dressed, and do not go out in public. i have no interest in taking it much further really. Now for the weirder part...
If I can be so big-headed, I think I look pretty good as a girl. Indeed, when I first tried dressing, I was surprised as to how good I could appear with little effort. I dress myself in a way that I find attractive, take pictures and videos, and post them on various sites. This was a real sexual turn on for me. The attention I was getting from admirers, the thoughts of being treated like a girl etc., all sexual thrills. But before long I noticed that I was masturbating looking at pictures of myself dressed up.
It was not just the idea of being dressed that turned me on, but I actively wanted to be there with the girl in the picture. In truth, the girl in the picture, was a different person to me. I wanted to run my hands on her legs, kiss her lips. I wanted to fuck her. In essence I wanted to fuck myself. Soon, it was not just the impersonality of the photos and movies that did this to me. I could dress up, stand in front of the mirror, and the arousal would be immediate. The girl staring back at me was my dream girl, I wanted her. By the looks of things she wanted me.
This side of my life is only a very small part of me and indeed, only a fraction of my sexual life. however, I fear that it is an unhealthy one. Has anyone ever come across anything like this? Does anyone have any advice? Am I the only one?
I know, you probably all hate me, what a big headed narcissistic bastard. Anyway thats my story. I will post pictures of myself in girl mode if required, but that is not really what this is about.
Posted Sat Apr 21, 2012 01:24 PM
However, some people say that you are attracted to someone with similar features to yourself...and being that it's yourself dressed up as a girl might play some role in explaining it. And seeing as you dress up as a girl you'd find attractive, with all the clothing, style that you find attractive...it does make more sense than you'd think as you've dressed up according to your taste whereas most other women drses up according to...well, not your personal taste at any rate.
Can't really give you any advice as well...I don't think it's unhealthy yet. Apart from feeling unhealthy about it, how else does it affect your life, if in any way at all? How about your relationship with your girlfriend? If it doesn't, then I wouldn't be too worried about it.
Posted Sat Apr 21, 2012 01:43 PM
Interesting subject that you have brought up. I now have to wonder how common this is. I don't cross-dress but I do enjoy masturbating in front of the mirror - in essence, I suppose I am sexually attracted to myself as well.
Posted Sat Apr 21, 2012 04:29 PM
You have nothing to worry about
Diffy has certified this message
Posted Sat Apr 21, 2012 05:41 PM
But back to Clodagh question, there is nothing wrong with what your doing and as you said its only a small part of your sexual life, then its so far its not unhealthy. It will only become unhealthy if it affects your relationships or that it begins to dominates and takes over your life. Im just curious does your girlfriend know that you do it and if ahe has no problems with it then you have a very understanding gf. A lot of people out there are not so understanding and would find it wierd but i always say, what ever floats ya boat go with it.
And i must add that your post is well written.
Posted Sun Apr 22, 2012 01:42 AM
Posted Sun Apr 22, 2012 07:55 AM
No offense intended.