Dreams that I've been having lately I need some advice
Posted Mon May 14, 2012 07:17 AM
Posted Mon May 14, 2012 08:20 AM
Posted Mon May 14, 2012 05:56 AM
question: do you know the person in your dream is your ex-as in do you see her face, body etc, or is it more a feeling lacking a face?
if you do in fact see your ex's face, body etc, then you have feelings for your ex. she has reached a part of you that is unfulfilled in your current relationship/marriage. if you want your marriage to last or be as fulfilling as possible, then you do need to honestly examine what is lacking, and examine your submerged feelings for your ex.
if you only have a sense that the person in your dreams is your ex, then you are not feeling anything for her, but instead, you are simply not satisfied with your current relationship. that dissatisfaction doesn't even have to be sexual, it could be some other aspect that really irks you, yet you suppress.
Posted Mon May 14, 2012 06:30 AM
</div><div><br></div><div>edit: have you had those dreams since the beginning of your marriage, or is this more recent. if the latter, when did they start?</div>
This post has been edited by vincubus: Mon May 14, 2012 06:32 AM
Posted Mon May 14, 2012 11:04 AM
Posted Wed May 16, 2012 12:55 PM
If you say that you're happily married and don't think you could ever leave your wife, then I don't think that dreaming about your ex- is necessarily about being with your ex-. Maybe your sex life back then was more exciting, so you could be wanting more excitement but with your current partner. The dreams may not even really be about sex itself. Are you stressed lately? Would you say that you were any less stressed when you were younger or with your ex-? If so, maybe the dreams are just about getting back to something you had or experienced back then that you are craving now. It doesn't necessarily have to be something sexual just because the dream was about sex. Dreams are weird.
Try putting another woman (not your wife or your ex-) into the dream situation. Does the meaning of the dream to you change when the person changes? Or is your ex- just the person who happens to be the placeholder in the dream (i.e. that person could be anybody with the same result or meaning)? If the meaning of the dream seems the same regardless, then I doubt it's really about your ex- at all. If the meaning changes because it's specifically your ex- in the dream, then maybe you should explore why it has to be your ex- to make the dream work.
Overall, try not to take dreams too seriously. As I said, they're weird. Many dreams don't have meaning. Many dreams aren't even remembered. Since you're so happy in your marriage, say you have a great sex life with your wife, and don't seem to be comparing your wife to your ex- (you did say that you had a great sex life with both of them in different ways), I would say that your relationship is likely fine and that there's something else bothering you.