after 5 years me and my girlfriend sex life is dull
Posted Sun May 27, 2012 05:25 PM
Posted Sun May 27, 2012 06:48 PM
Of course if I were so smart how come I ain't rich.
Posted Sun May 27, 2012 06:57 PM
You also have to realize you can only do so much to encourage someone to do stuff they may not want to do. Sometimes it works; sometimes not. If you have any plans to stick with her long term be sure that you're both sexually compatible so you're not one of the unlucky ones who comes back to say how their sex life has dried up after marriage which can be messy to get out of.
This post has been edited by mr_curve: Sun May 27, 2012 06:58 PM
Posted Sun May 27, 2012 11:31 PM
This plagues ALOT of us guys. I left my wife because i was romantically dissatisfied with her, following her going to therapy for 18 months and nothing to sow for it except she thinks maybe her Dad sexually assaulted her. And that came out of no where. So...on my end, I am dealing with this in another long term relationship and the common denominator is ME. What I have discovered is that I am not the provider that my girl wants. This hurt because i work my ass off. Hearing this was profound because i had just listened to a psychologist discuss women relationship priorities and how they affect their level of commitment and openness. I also know that we have an obligation to be sexy, too. If your sporting a major bush, are fat, complain, etc, you are not giving her something to be inspired by. Think in terms of what will make her open up by means of inspiration. I have tried watching porn together with mild success. When i met my girl, she would take it anyway I served it. She came and came. We would fuck any where. Blowjobs were abundant. She has turned a 180 on me over 2 years, so i am in your boat and actively working on all issues I just brought up to you. here are some things I've done to shake shit up on my end:
* Lost ten pounds.
* Keep myself nicely trimmed. Eye brows, armpits, etc.
* get pedicures for my feet aren't fucked up, and I keep my hands clean and manicured.
* Reading a book on cunnilingus.
* bought ropes and books on bondage and read them.
* Bought all new underwear that is a treat for both of us. Sexier styles.
* Work out more frequently.
* Got a tattoo and am going to get a few piercings because she likes that imagery.
Now here's the other stuff i am working on that is more important than all that shit I just listed:
* Revised two new versions of my resume.
* Actively looking for a better paying job with benefits.
* Acting financially responsible.
* Demonstrating better parenting to my daughter by way of getting her more involved.
* planning for my future so she knows that me taking care of her in the long term is a MAJOR PRIORITY OF MINE.
Hope this helps you in some way. Please wish me luck, too? I have a great woman, I want to keep her. And I want her to want to be a dirty, nasty little slut for me. ; )
Posted Mon May 28, 2012 05:18 AM
Posted Mon May 28, 2012 06:30 AM
Having sexual fantasies is pretty normal thing too, but some might be better left just as a fantasy. Bringing a 3rd into the picture in my opinion needs a lot of pre discussion and agreement. Your gf really needs to understand if this is what she wants to do so as avoid getting cold feet at the last minute too.
I do think however that for some folks, some select folks, this can work out and be a great thing, but I think they may be fewer and farther between than actually are.
Posted Mon May 28, 2012 06:09 PM
Baby steps are needed here.
To maintain a sex life over many years needs effort.
It sounds like you are far more interested in your own desires than you are hers.
Talk to her about what she likes. Don't push what you want.