talk about the past or not past lovers
Posted Sat Jun 09, 2012 04:34 PM
Posted Sat Jun 09, 2012 05:02 PM
Talking about past lovers?
No no no no no no no
I would hate it, he would hate it
I would think that most married women would not like that at all.
If your wife doesn't like it, just don't go there.
Why not tell her what you miss about her and what you are looking forward to when you get back together.
Don't make it all about sex though!
Posted Sat Jun 09, 2012 05:32 PM
Posted Sat Jun 09, 2012 10:13 PM
Posted Sun Jun 10, 2012 05:45 AM
I'm not sure how someone could be in fact not be interested about the persons past that he or she is considering being in a relationship with. I'd want to know as much as possible.
On the flip side, there are some folks out there that really enjoy hearing about their partners past encounters...every minute detail...and really get a kick out of it. And why not?
Posted Sun Jun 10, 2012 06:09 AM
My husband and i are very open and honest about pretty much everything from A-Z. Ya we know of our past relations but never have we discussed or gone into detail of any sorts, and dont think I would want to nor would he. Certain things are just not ment to be shared openly. But then again to each their own.
Posted Sun Jun 10, 2012 07:17 AM
What I need to know about the women I'm with would be "yeah, honey, you know ... my husband is getting released (long imprissonment for violent/armed bank robbery - my comment) in two weeks", "you'no I'm wanted in 5 states" or something like THAT is what I consider important and want to know about. Anything else is not. As for getting to know her sexual preferences, dos and donts, what works and what doesn't, etc, all that can be discussed without going into details. Isn't it "I like be touched in this way" or something like that enough? Listening to 15 minutes story about her ex who did that is, IMHO, really going over the top. There are other avenues to take and still get to where you want to be. All I need is her sighs, moans, body shivers and twitches to know that whatever I'm doing I'm doing right. Simple words like yes, slower, harder, etc are more than enough for an attentive lover.
I never ask, period. If I am asked about my past my answer would be 'you already know what you need to know and what is important for our relationship'. Insisting on this kind of questions would make me think that either my partner is not self-confident, doesn't trust me, or both; neither of which I would be happy with.
Now, I would in no way feel intimidated or insecure with anything what I could hear about her past experiences and lovers. Not going to happen. Her sexual experiences are hers and hers only just as much as mine are mine - it's as simple as that. What we have learned from those experiences is, for better or worse, what goes with the rest of our 'package'.
Some people like to talk about these things, some don't. Some actually insist on talking only to regret later on. It all depends; what works for some may not work for others. People who enjoy doing this are, IMHO, voyers which I'm not. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. Instead of talking about the past I would much rather spend that time to enjoy and get new experiences with the women I'm right now.
I can't escape the feeling that nowadays people are not patient enough, want everything now, and tend to take shortcuts. Almost as if they would like their partners to come with user manuals attached. What ever happened to thrills of exploration and joys of finding new things?
Posted Thu Jun 14, 2012 07:46 PM
Posted Thu Jun 14, 2012 09:43 PM
With me, it's not so much a big deal since I've been married and have had a myriad of things done to me. However, I think for the most part it would be a total turn-off for the guy to hear about my escapades prior to him. I think that would make most men jealous.
Many of us selfishly want to feel that even if you HAVE experience, that you're the one who tops it. Sadly, many of us who hear about experiences are ones who feel like they cannot live up to them, or have this weird expectation they can't meet.
I've the advantage of age and being married on my side, but many women don't. If we're sexually experienced, we think YOU might think there is something wrong with us either A. being a prude, B. Having too much experience (and being considered a slut for liking sex so much), C. you don't want to be compared to a past lover any more than WE do, or D. All of the above.
Just be careful with this. I think you need to establish a sense of intimacy before embarking on what happened in the past. Sexual or otherwise...
Posted Fri Jun 22, 2012 03:08 PM
Posted Thu Jul 05, 2012 07:12 AM
Posted Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:54 PM
Posted Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:26 AM
If it doesn't serve both of you, it sure as heck isn't relevant. If she's comfortable sharing, and you think it's hot, then it's all good in the hood. If you're missing one of those two ingredients, pass.
Posted Fri Jul 06, 2012 04:27 AM
Posted Fri Jul 06, 2012 04:32 PM
Posted Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:40 PM
Posted Sun Jul 08, 2012 12:39 AM
Posted Sun Jul 08, 2012 07:26 AM
Posted Sun Jul 08, 2012 07:57 AM
The present is a gift so enjoy it!
Posted Sun Jul 08, 2012 04:53 PM