Rules of an Engagement
Posted Wed Jun 20, 2012 01:32 PM
Posted Wed Jun 20, 2012 02:05 PM
If it can be undone by saying : "I'm outta here" and no documentation, legal work, etc, needing to be done, it's dating 2.0.
It's just a 'publicly' stated intent to marry someone. That's all.
Posted Wed Jun 20, 2012 02:25 PM
Posted Wed Jun 20, 2012 04:11 PM
Posted Wed Jun 20, 2012 05:55 PM
If you are in a monogamous relationship, regardless of the status of that relationship, then sex with another person is cheating.
Engagement is invention to marry. It is not a trial or test.
Posted Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:50 PM
Posted Thu Jun 21, 2012 07:07 AM
This post has been edited by saintnailpolish: Thu Jun 21, 2012 07:07 AM
Posted Thu Jun 21, 2012 07:57 AM
In my view its simply a way of showing ones commitment and devotion to your loved one. On a practical level it gives you time to arrange your marriage, and in a traditional situation, find your marital home and make preparations for your future together.
It's generally assumed in western society that those in the engagement will be monogamous and not screw about, date or generally
cavort with other people in a sexual manner and other intimate ways.
It is the preface of the marriage if you like, most people in an engagement act and live as if they were married subject to their particular religious beliefs etc.
It's not a trial however it can act a period of 'reality check' for some, especially with regards to commitment and some may break off the engagement having realised that marriage isn't for them or their 'betrothed' isn't their true love.
Most of all its about you and your partner and your commitment to each other in an open and honest relationship. Contacts with others is partly common sense, mostly obvious and should come naturally to those in a committed relationship before and during engagement.
Sexual contacts with others is a no no. Contact with previous girl/boyfriends is assessed on careful balance subject to the social cirlces of bethrothed couple and ex's. (deffo no sex with the ex though)
On the assumptions of you may be considering getting engaged and to a lady, your concerns may be addressed to female contacts and friends? If so this comes back to the circle of friends you share with your SO, if she knows your female friends and they are friends then there shouldn't be any issues, your all friends and that's good. If on the other hand your phone / facebook is full of previous girlfriends, dates, one night stands etc. then you may need to consider your SO feelings, emotions and emotional security. But again, if your in a committed relationship then this will come easily, why would you need your cellphone full of girls numbers!!!
Posted Thu Jun 21, 2012 09:51 AM
The way you've written it, one would think you're looking for permission to cheat. You could really be misunderstood there, I mean.
I don't know about engagements, but I'd say the "rules" of any relationship should be only set by the parts involved. If you ever get engaged to somebody, it'd be a good idea to have talked to the person before that and already know what the person expects of you and vice-versa.
Posted Fri Jun 22, 2012 05:50 AM
Posted Wed Jul 11, 2012 03:24 PM
I think that the "rules" for being engaged should be the same as the rules for your relationship before you get engaged and the same as the rules for your marriage once you get married. A relationship is a relationship - only the jewelry changes, IMO.
Mr._C. and I got together in 2006, he proposed in 2009, and we were supposed to get married this year but couldn't afford it, so we're not married yet, and things are the same as they've always been between us. We're monogamous and intend to get married - that's what being engaged is for me. I would say that I've "betrothed my heart" to Mr._C. in that I intend to be his wife someday (when we can afford to have a wedding the way we'd like to!). But Mr._C. had my heart before we got engaged, so it's not like my feelings changed once I had a ring on my finger. I wanted to be his wife anyway.
Engaged means that you intend to marry someone, but because an engagement isn't legally binding in any way, the relationship could still end without the messiness of having to go through a divorce.
I don't think that being engaged is necessarily a trial before getting married. I think that living together before getting married is more of a "trial marriage" than getting engaged if you don't live together. Just being engaged isn't enough to prepare you for marriage. You have to know if you can live with someone every single day and see them almost 24/7 before you'll know if you're going to be compatible once you're married, IMO.
Posted Sat Jul 14, 2012 01:59 AM
Dude cheating is cheating. I don't care if you have been dating for two days or married 20 years and everything in between. Unless you are in an open relationship. Just a warning there about 99% of people are unable to be in an open relationship and make it work.
Posted Mon Jul 16, 2012 07:17 PM
Honey.....will you marry me....I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.....PS.....mind if I fuck around