When is it okay to move on?
Posted Sat Sep 29, 2012 11:33 PM
I've been told to not jump in to anything so that I have time to process the feelings from the break up, but at the same time I don't want to pass up the opportunity to be with someone I can really connect with.
When do you think it's okay to move on?
Posted Sat Sep 29, 2012 11:34 PM
Posted Sat Sep 29, 2012 11:48 PM
I'm general - "rebound" relationships don't have a great success rate.
BUT there are exceptions.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 05:52 AM
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 10:43 AM
If you're broken up with the previous SO, what does it matter if one is ready or not?
If you're not ready and thus you pass on it, then it amounts to nothing.
If you're not ready and you jump into it anyway and it fails, it ultimately amounts to nothing.
Worst case scenario: you spend some time with a chick you like and break up in the end...which is pretty much the par-for-the-course narrative of how it goes in relationships.
Basically, the question is : "Why not?" Because it'll fail? Well, hell...that has the exact same end result as if you hook up with her.
Posted Sun Sep 30, 2012 05:47 PM
The break up was a few weeks ago, but as Jade mentioned it was a long process before that (in terms of a year). Ilyushin, you make a very good point, but I just don't want to hurt anyone.
I think I am ready to move on, and be happy again...
Posted Fri Oct 05, 2012 01:28 PM
I'm currently in the process of breaking up with mine who I've been with for 2 and a half years and already looks like she's ready to move on despite saying during our relationship that she lovews me and wants to marry me and have my kids! YEt now looks like she's waiting to officially break up with me so she can go off with him. Unfortunate and annoying and feeling jealous even though we're splitting up but I can't stop her.
In other words, if it feels good - then do it. Yes I think you should process you relationship and let that settle (unless it hasn't done so already) and then move on. I mean you only have one life so you have to make the most of it right?
(Just saw your last post Hojo! Haha! Well these were my thoughts anyway...)
Posted Fri Oct 05, 2012 11:41 PM
If you are ready to move on you will know it. Do not limit yourself with other peoples rules or expectations.
Posted Wed Oct 10, 2012 04:08 PM
Time to shift and get used to the new lifestyle.
The general rule that I follow for maximums:
For men: 1 week for every month you were together (so 9 years turned to weeks, then about 9 weeks per 2 months gives you two years)
Women: Not a clue.. been working on that one.... harder to figure things out when you're not in the loop on what's going on.
So in short 1 week to 2 years at your discretion. But really it should be based on how ready you are to move on. I.e. - Don't just date to date, and don't push yourself too hard.
I think I need to add a diminishing age factor to my equation, but so far this has worked well for me.