He was 46 years old, which was fine with me, I am only 27 but my soon to be ex husband is 49 so I thought it was all going well.
He fell in love with me before we even met, and after a few meet ups I fell for him too. I felt like I was really loved, like I have never felt before. He was already talking about us buying a house, getting married and even having children.
He is married, still living with his wife but have been in separate bedrooms now 9 months and all sex stopped 9 months ago too.
He sent me video proof of the two beds made up and constantly said bad things about his wife saying she was giving him a hard time etc.
He told me last week he had to fly out unexpectedly to the USA. He called me from Heathrow and said he had to turn his phone off in departures and when he boarded the plane. I then tracked the entire flight online, I knew how fast the plane was going, exactly how high up and where he was. I watched him land and everything. The next morning he messaged me on Facebook inbox that he was there safe etc. Only Facebook tagged his location at his works address within the UK. I thought hmm this is a little weird but I went with it. I asked him and he said 'well I am not there lol' I said promise? and he did.
Later that day I had to find out for myself so I googled his works number and called them. I asked to speak to him, they said he left at 2pm. I had confirmation he was in work. A few hours later I then decided to call his home number (in the hope he would pick it up). His wife picked it up instead. I made out that I was from his work and that a machine had broken and I needed to speak to him. She said he was in the shower. I then took it upon me to inform her what her husband of 30 YEARS had been doing. I asked her to sit down and as gently as I could deliver the news I did. She was gobsmacked. I said goodbye and she took my number.
An hour later HE messaged me saying what a plank he was that he hadn't taken the right charger to the states and that he would try and get one tomorrow. I said, it's amazing how he was still lying. He pretended to not know what was going on. I said I had spoken to his wife, you know while he was in the shower. A few minutes later I called the home and low and behold he picked it up. He didn't recognize my voice to begin with. Then he sighed and asked what had gone on. I told him I have told his wife everything. He said he was sorry and he ''thought'' he loved me. In total we had a relationship for 15 weeks 5 days. During the first 4 weeks he continued to message another lady, he gave me his passwords and all sorts so I logged in and in the end he deactivated the account because he was so ''committed'' to me. Anyway, an hour or so later his wife called me again. She wanted more details about him and the secret life he had led. I enlightened her whilst crying telling her that I genuinely believed his lies and that if I had any idea he was still with her I wouldn't of got myself (or my children) involved. I guess this is where some would call me stupid beyond belief. I told her that he had everyone fooled, me, the other mums at school, even my parents.
Turns out he wasn't married 20 years, he was married 30 years.
Turns out he was not 46, he was 56.
Turns out not only did he have diabeties and survived prostate cancer and a heart attach but also has M.S.
Turns out the red GTO (twin turbo sports car) he SOLD many months ago.
There is a lot more lies he told but these are the biggies.
She had always told him 'you ever cheat on me and thats it, it's over' and I believe she has stuck to her word. A day later his daughter called me, she's only a year younger than me and asked why did I do it? It's simple, I wasn't keen to meet him, we started talking 6th June and it took me until 23rd June to finally meet him and that's after he came over within my local area 19th June with a bunch of flowers for me, I ignored him during this as I wasn't ready to meet (I am a very nervous person). She also admitted that he had done it before but until now they had no proof to act upon and that her parents had a very violent relationship, but I suspect because I wasn't sure if I wanted him or not that she was trying to put me off him....
He has since posted my door key back to me via post, not even a note of an apology or anything else. I have throw out his toiletries.
My question is this: How can someone so genuine be so fake? How could I of been so stupid? How, when I know how much he has hurt me and lied to me do I still love him and desperately want him back? Right about now everything in my life is falling apart. I was in love to what I thought was a good, honest man but it turns out I have just been very, very stupid. I don't like to talk too much about my life BUT he knew what I had been through, domestic violence, rapes, marital rape, my 8 month old daughter nearly dying in front of my eyes as well, why did he do this to me knowing what I have been through?
Don't really know why I am posting this here, I guess I just want some guidance. Someone to tell me it will all be OK. I don't care how many of you will tell me what a looser he is - He is a looser I want back. A looser I fell in love with. A looser I want to fight for.
By the way, the sex was amazing, he moaned a lot and acted very shy with sex, he enjoyed our sex and I was having the best sex ever too.
I am feeling very lost in life at the moment. I want him. I don't feel like anything else matters any more.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it's a long story but this is my 'I am back' story and explains where I have been.
This post has been edited by MrsProud: Wed Oct 17, 2012 07:20 AM