Mixed Signals from after childbirth
Posted Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:04 PM
Those who know me from my previous posts know that i have a huge drive but that i am a gentleman, never forcing anything on her neither cheating. I really expected to have sweet nothing in the sex lane for still 2-4 months, i just had my mind set for that, telling myself i'm letting her recover fully, and in the meantime, i find myself some alone time in the restrooms or when i make sure everybody is sleeping soundly. I don't put any pressure on her, except some times when i just tell her i'm gonna take "that long shower" and she understands my needs an let me do it.
However, last week she showed some enthusiasm in her remarks about her fatigue and her healing down there, saying i'm getting good, it doesn't hurt anymore, and i'm almost finished bleeding. I say, ok, fine. Just tell me when you're willing, i'm patient. The same day, when i tell her about my long shower, she asks me to keep the door unlocked, so she may come and treat me something special if baby sleeps... I was hitting the roof in enthusiasm, getting clean and ready... She came in and gave the that awesome, perfect, devoted, loving and caring blowjob i dreamed of for months... SHe made it perfectly, made it last long and the perfect finish and lingering ending that marks your mind... You know the kind of blowjob you wank to the souvenir of for the next month? But after i asked politely if there was anything i could do to make her feel good, and she refused politely, saying she wasn't healed perfectly yet. I offered her legs and back massage instead, and honestly, i really wish she let me massage her breasts; they were huge from the milk , but she was still trying to make herself milk more so i offered to gently massage and help her stimulate to express some milk. SHe refused politely saying her breasts were now for the daughter and no one else, that I'D have them once she stopped breast feeding.
Days passed and she put less and les effort in pumping and breastfeeding; so her milk production lowered, until she just decided that's enough, it's not working. She stressed it that she needed sleep a lot, so i am a nice guy, i take more than half the night on "guard duty" so she can have at leasst 5 hours of un-interupted sleep, and she usually gets to sleeps two round of 3-4 hours at other points during the day. She enphasizes her need to sleep because she made a huge depression from fatigue at our first child. At the same time i encouraged her to persevere a bit more for the sake of our child's health, and for the simpleness of breastfeeding compared to formulas you have to store in cold when you travel, to reheat, etc... But she kinda took my encouragements negatively, even though i did my best not to be an ass. But at the same time, she could see in my face that i longed for her breasts again, as i am a breast man, and hers are wonderful. And its a fantasy of mine to suck on milking tits while pleasing her, even if its to spit out the milk in the shower, just to feel them engorged in my mouth, to have the feeling her of releasing her from the pressure, all the while, if she wished, taking care of her pleasure, fingering her, or fucking her. I knew i'd wait for actual penetration, but i told her about my fantasy, and the first time i mentionned it, she told me she'd like to do it once at least, that she'd reserve her last milk for that.
But now she stopped all attempts at breastfeeding for 3 days, her boobs are already getting to pre-pregnancy size, and she won't even let me touch them , even if to massage them. She has known this fantasy of mine and i'm a bit frustrated to see it go out of my hands... Tonight, she's been giving all kinds of discreet clues about us having sex soon, but sweet nothing in actions, and when i finally get a chance to kiss her and "halk-naked hug" her, she makes sure i don't touch her breasts.
Sincerely, i could really have lasted longer and not be frustrated at all if she hadn't teased me that much; but i understand i'm giving her maybe a mixed signal too. I'm a bit frustrated by her lack of will and the fact she just stopped because she wasn't astute; but i am happy she stops because i will have her breasts back. She knew about my fantasy for a long time, i even talked to her about it during pregnancy. I'm frustrated because i tell myself if she didn't want it at all, or even was unsure, why did she tease me like that? Why is she doing sneaky sexy remarks here and there knowing her blowjob and promises sparked a lot a horniness? Am i just being an ass, or if someone else too thinks she's playing a bit too much ?
Posted Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:31 PM
I hope she feels better soon and that your able to have back what's yours. I know I wasn't much help but that was my personal experience
Posted Mon Nov 05, 2012 09:57 AM
Posted Mon Nov 05, 2012 10:16 AM
Posted Wed Nov 07, 2012 07:56 AM
maybe shes unsure on how she feels. my mood did fluctuate alot.
Posted Wed Nov 07, 2012 08:54 AM
Posted Thu Nov 08, 2012 07:36 AM
Posted Thu Nov 08, 2012 09:26 AM
I seem like the guy pushing it... yes maybe, but really, i care about her right now, i want to make her happy and i believe if she let go just once it'd be better for everyone. I don't care if i'm not getting any; i want her to feel good in every way possible. Of course i also want her to feel that she's not abandonning baby because she wants sexual relief; she has the right to have that, as long as someone is ready to take care fast, and i am, as i have always been with our first daughter. Even if slightly imbided, i NEVER EVER let my kid down or had them wait in times of need; yes sometimes i left my buddies on the porch in a rush to look after her when she screamed in the monitor; yes sometimes i had to pull up my pants and wash my hands in less than a minute; yes sometimes i had to jump up from between her legs, don my dressing gown fast to hide the wet boner and wash hands in a double; yes sometimes i had to jump out of the shower and race with a only a towel on; but i have always been there. The girls of my life can ALWAYS count on me, and i believe she realizes that, she tells me and appreciates me for that regularly. She just has to show a little desire and i'm gonna take care of it. I love her, and to know she feels good and whole is all i want.
Posted Mon Nov 12, 2012 08:53 PM
She drove our first daughter to school while i gave milk to our baby; she came back, bay was fast asleep, soundly... she checked her facebook as i showered and shaved, then i filled her a bubble bath, lit candles, poured her a nice cup of Sheridan's (irish cream liquor, she loves it) on the rocks... She spent almost an hour there, relaxing, while i was on guard for baby, who still sleeped soundly. I also lit up scented candles in the bedroom, put on her favorite music and had my massage oil ready; i also poured myself a drink even at 9:30 AM... But hell, only one, and i an still largely in control. She stayed naked as she went into the bedroom, seeing i took care of everything, and that i also had the monitor in case our baby woke up. I massaged her legs for while, and she asked me to kiss her... Oh god, the electricity... Just by her response to the very first kiss, i knew it was the time! She wanted tenderness, was unsure about penetration, but i just gave her oral while massaging all of her skin i could possibly touch at the same time.
She grabbed my head in her delightful way, until she was satisfied and pushed me gently away, the i just lay my head on her stomach, as if i listened for her uterus, panting, savoring the softness of her skin and feeling her last shivers of pleasure. THe look on her face was priceless, i felt so fulfilled from seeing her radiant like this! She then offered me to suck my cock, and oh man was it awesome... She had me cumming so hard and so long that i saw stars and almost fainted. I am glad that she finally had this chance to let go and enjoy, and she never felt bad at all; we had all in all a wonderful day, brightened by the lingering glow of our awesome orgasms. I love her so much!
Posted Tue Nov 13, 2012 05:47 AM
Posted Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:40 PM
Posted Tue Nov 13, 2012 01:22 PM
Sounds like you are very patient and understanding. Her mixed signals were probably from her battling with herself in trying to get better, to satisfy you, while simultaneously fighting off depression. Remember, for some women, it takes a while longer for the hormones to settle, which causes us to feel bouts of fatigue and depression and low drive or even high drive. Oy vei....we go through lots.
I finally feel better just 2 months ago at 6 months post partum! She's making effort on her part, slowly but surely, just never ever come across as pushy.
Posted Sat Nov 17, 2012 10:35 PM
Posted Sun Nov 18, 2012 08:39 PM
Posted Tue Nov 20, 2012 08:33 PM
"i don't want oral orgasm, its just like teasing, its not what i crave. i know everytime you make me cum nicely, but its not fulfilling; what i've been longing for since 4 months now is penetration, by your hard and hot rod. I really want it deep and hard, but i'm only seeing my gyneco in 2 weeks to check if i'm healed properly. All that tenderness and massage is good, but you eating me out is just teasing for what i can't get now, and its maddening. When i've seen my doc and everything's fine, i want to impale myself on your hot steerl rod, and yes you're gonna suck my tits and you're gonna fuck me hard and deep and its gonna be the most eagerly anticipated and te most intense sex ever!"
Technically i'll be back to work by then, but since things have been slowing down at work, i'll be able to take my day off to please her when its time! God how i long for this moment; i got a raging hard on when she told me that, and i'm getting another writing about it!
Posted Wed Nov 21, 2012 06:00 AM
I totally sympathize with your wife. I enjoy oral and what have you, but there is nothing like that "impaling" she talks about. I'd also feel frustrated by just oral. I wanna be fucked by my guy. I want it hard and deep. There is no substitute for that. No tongue, no dildo, no massage, no nothing. It's him, thrusting deep in me who can really quench that thirst. I want his cock deep into me when my vagina starts doing its thing. That's real release, that's real nirvana.
Two weeks, McAllister! Countdown!