Advice required relationship help
Posted Sun Dec 16, 2012 05:53 AM
I'm married and have been with my wife for 25 years. I think she loves me but I don't feel the same way about her any more - to be honest, I haven't for a number of years. I'm pretty good at pretending and I think I mostly get away with it. I've never had an affair in all that time. Despite my lack of passion for her I've been faithful. I make excuses not to have sex with her sometimes because she doesn't interest me. I need to look at porn to get in the mood to have sex with her.
Problem is I've met someone else I really do like. Actually, I think I love them. I haven't told them though - we're just friends. I'd like to take it further but I have a wife and child and a stable home. I don't want to make my wife unhappy but I'm starting to suffer and can't stop thinking about the other woman.
What should I do?
Posted Sun Dec 16, 2012 09:30 AM
There are no straight answers here. There are, however, several options to consider. You 'take it further' with that other woman and keep quiet about it so that your wife never finds out. Not impossible but highly unlikely. Love for your wife went cold already, you don't enjoy sex with her any more ... If you get that from the other woman, what do you think for how long you will be able to keep it hidden? Or for how long you will want to keep it hidden?
The other option would be to sit down and have some serious with your wife. Takes some serious balls to do but is something you will have to do anyway. Would she agree to an open marriage? She most likely is not happy with the situation and might be fine with this? She just might, and I say again just might, have an affair herself.
Another one to consider would be staying with your wife, continue as you have never met that other woman, and be happy with what you have, ie home and a stable family. But this is not very likely to happen, right?
Failing all this you can, of course, file for a divorce.
This post has been edited by SirFoggy: Sun Dec 16, 2012 09:37 AM
Posted Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:04 AM
Take care and I wish you all the best.
Posted Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:46 AM
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